The 2021 Emmys happened last night and the opening was… Have you ever been to a family dinner and the adults get a little too drunk because their kids are old enough to drive home now and they all start sloppily singing some popular song from fifteen years ago and the kids all groan amongst each other, some leave the room in embarrassment and one bright-eyed cousin films it for social media? That. PLUS an awkward rap from a white auntie, courtesy of–WHO ELSE?–Rita Wilson. And no, that’s not a picture of Billy Porter angrily begging for her to stop. He’s hyping her up!
Lots of folks are bored and horny these days (in between bouts of despondency and despair) so it makes sense that a favorite pastime of the internet right now is playing a fevered game of Are They? What else are you supposed to do if all you’ve got is vivid imagination and your own two hands to get you off. So when two unique and stylish bundles of fun like Tracee Ellis Ross and Harry Styles have been “spotted” together, as reported to the celebrity gossip tipline @deuxmoi on Instagram, horny hos are gonna take notice. Rumors of a Harrcee union come two years after 26-year-old Harry broke up with Victoria’s Secret model Camille Rowe. Add the fact that 47-year-old Tracee is notoriously private, citing having grown up “in a very public family” (her sister-in-law is the one and only Ashlee Simpson!), and you’re off to the races!
The Emmys happened last night despite nobody being allowed near each other due to coronavirus still spreading through humanity one TikTok party mansion at a time. A few celebrities (like Jennifer Aniston, Tracee Ellis Ross, Laverne Cox, etc…) showed up at the Staples Center to present, but most celebrities stayed home. The ceremonial red carpet was switched up and the famous people just took their own pics and posted them themselves. Their choice of professional photography and they don’t have to make small talk with whatever half-peasant correspondent was put in front of them? Talk about a big win.
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
The American Music Awards doesn’t have the respectability of the Grammys or the pizazz of the MTV VMAs, but it’s got…well, it’s got a pointy award and people that show up, and that’s all you really need for a music award show. As such, guests still put in some effort for the red carpet. Post Malone’s hair is still a mess and he’s got those “Yes I’ve been slowly picking off my Shellac manicure” nails, but he also came through with a bedazzled belt buckle and nudie suit made by Union Western Clothing featuring his initials and several snakes. I guess he didn’t get the memo that Taylor Swift had the whole snake thing locked down last night. Oh well, it still pulled his whole look together. That is, if he was going for a look that tells people he’s a very successful businessman who sells snakes at an Alabama swap meet.
It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.