Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Steve-O risked getting a face full of bird shit by duct-taping his almost naked body (he was wearing chonies) to a billboard to promote his comedy special and he was later taken down by the fire department after saying it was important for him to not waste city resources on this stunt. I was also going to ask if paramedics were there to revive his passed-out nipples after that duct tape was pulled off but I’m sure his nipples died two thousand stunts ago – CBS Los Angeles
As Instagram trickled out a sad tear of loneliness since it used to be the IT place for celebrities to announce their pregnancies, Chrissy Teigen revealed in a music video that she’s pregnant with her and John Legend’s third kid – People
Matt Damon brought his surfer chichis out in Malibu – Lainey Gossip
Two of the only fashion influencers in the game who matter are now our reigning Hot Sluts of the Month! I’m sure they’ll mention this illustrious title when American Vogue devotes an entire issue to them. Please, like Anna Wintour is that fashion-forward. Besides, they don’t have Kardashian, Hadid, or Jenner anywhere in their names so Anna doesn’t want anything to do with them. Her loss!
Hsu Sho-er and Chang Wan-ji are the dynamic husband and wife fashion duo who have gained hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers thanks to the next-level looks they serve up using the forgotten clothes that customers of their laundromat in Tawain have left behind. And they are HSOTM winners thanks to getting 65% of your votes. Behind them are the shit-stirring emus Carol and Kevin (20%), the UPDATES graphic from Unsolved Mysteries (10%), and the hungriest black hole in the universe (5%).
Hsu Sho-er and Chang Wan-ji are now our seventh HSOTM of 2020 and will battle it out for the Hot Slut of the Year title next year. Until then, they will continue to destroy hos with their devastating ensembles, like the looks above that prove they are only ones who can pull off a baby diarrhea-colored skirt and pedal-pushing baggy jorts.
Thanks to all who voted!
Most movie theaters have been closed since March since they are COVID-19 playgrounds, but even though shit is still serious when it comes to coronavirus, AMC will begin reopening theaters in the U.S. on August 20. And in an attempt to drive our case numbers deeper into the millions, they are offering incredible deals like charging only 15 cents for tickets on its re-opening day. So you can either stay at home and watch Black Panther bareback-style (AKA without a mask) on Disney+ or you can pay 15 cents to watch it at a movie theater while putting a popcorn kernel in your mouth every 5 seconds to make sure you can still taste.
Nick Cannon has apologized not once, not twice, but as many times as Mariah Carey has reachable octaves, and still, ViacomCBS is standing firm to their decision to fire him last month after he promoted anti-Semitic conspiracy theories on his podcast, Cannon’s Class. Nick has been the host of Wild’N Out, the show he created in 2005, for 15 seasons. Nick fired back at ViacomCBS, saying he deserved an apology from them, for firing him without discussing where he was coming from, and he demanded they hand over the rights to his show. Well, ViacomCBS didn’t give Nick his show. And recently, rumors started popping up on the internet that Nick was planning to sue ViacomCBS for $1.5 billion for the rights to Wild’N Out. But Nick’s rep has come forward to kill that billion-dollar lawsuit rumor.
2020 has sucked a big one, but that hasn’t prevented legendary treasure Dolly Parton from spreading “Joy to the World!” She just announced she’ll be releasing a special Christmas album in early October called Holly Dolly Christmas. It’ll be her fourth holiday album, and her first since 1990’s Home for Christmas.
Horny baby boomer moms everyone will be delighted by the news that the lead single is a duet with Michael Bublé called “Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas”. Other songs include“Holly Jolly Christmas”, “Christmas Is” (with Dolly’s goddaughter Miley Cyrus), “All I Want for Christmas Is You” (with Jimmy Fallon [?]), “Christmas Where We Are” (with Billy Ray Cyrus), “Pretty Paper” (with Willie Nelson, surely a rolling a joint reference?), “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, and “You Are My Christmas” (with Dolly’s brother Randy Parton).
The Telegraph did an interview with Jason Derulo and he talked about how he loves the pandemic quarantine. And how “everything is better” now that we’re afraid to leave our houses and catch death. Speaking of nightmares, Jason was surprised to hear that everyone hated the Cats movie because he thought it would “change the world.” Who said it didn’t? Now Furries have a two-hour big-budget movie to drop acid and jerk off to. That’s change.