Night Crumbs

/ August 20, 2019

85-year-old Larry King has filed for divorce from 59-year-old Shawn King, his seventh wife of almost 22 years. This is their second time pulling that divorce shit. Larry filed for divorce 9 years ago, but they got back together, and a few years ago she was accused of passing her poon to another. All I can say is that if you’re in the L.A. area, you better duck, because everyone’s going to be launching their genitals at that multi-millionaire hot piece of cum dust-busting fun now that he’s on the market again! – Just Jared

WE WILL NEVER BE RID OF THOSE HIDEOUS ASS TINY SUNGLASSES FROM THE 90S NOW THAT THE MATRIX 4 (starring Keanu Reeves and Carrie Ann-Moss) IS COMING BACK! – The A.V. Club

Vh1 renewed both RuPaul’s Drag Race and All-Stars for new seasons, and I’m guessing that Ornacia finally agreed to grace little All-Stars with her magnificent presence, because that’s the only way they’d do another one! – Lainey Gossip 

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Prince Andrew Is Reportedly Willing To Answer Questions Related To Jeffrey Epstein

/ August 20, 2019

It looks like Prince Andrew’s rotten pumpkin of a damage control carriage continues to drag itself down the metaphorical street (or in some cases, on an actual street, like the one he and mumsy took to church last week). He’s gone from having Buckingham Palace deny that he did anything gross, sleazy, or downright illegal with his accuser, Virginia Roberts. Then the palace got to work on another statement, this time claiming he was totally appalled by the allegations against his deceased friend Jeffrey Epstein, and that he’d never participate in or condone illegal acts or sex trafficking.

Andrew knows nothing! He’s innocent! His conscience is so clean, he’s apparently considering going to the police and telling them everything he knows about the situation.

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Frances McDormand Refused To Testify So The Guy Who Stole Her Oscar Had His Case Dismissed

/ August 20, 2019

Lest we need yet another reminder that Frances McDormand is a real one, TMZ is reporting that she’s the one responsible for allowing Terry Bryant, the man who stole her 2018 Best Actress Oscar for Three Billboards right out from under her nose, to get off with the crime scot-free.  A judge dismissed the case against Terry because Frances refused to cooperate with the police. And if you’ve seen the footage of Terry that he posted after the crime celebrating his “victory”, you’ll see why Frances was probably inclined to just go ahead and let Terry, a black gentleman of a certain age, continue to live his best Sidney Poitier They Call Me Mr. Tibbs fantasy in peace. She probably considers this small act of mercy a way of satisfying a clause in her inclusion rider.

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Zoë Kravitz Does Not Want You Botoxing Your Armpits

/ August 20, 2019

Zoë Kravitz recently spoke to Vogue about her new lipstick collection for YSL Beauté, and since she was talking lipstick, it’s only natural that Vogue would ask her about beauty trends. Zoë says she relieves stress with wine, weed, and sleep (stars, they’re just like us!), and that one of her beauty regrets is wearing “too much.” Zoë says she wishes people would stop over-contouring their faces because everyone is starting to look the exact same. “Okay AND???” thought anyone currently posing for an Instagram picture with a SugarBear hair gummy balanced between their teeth.

Eventually Zoë was asked about the beauty trend that has shocked her the most. In a world of vagina steaming and vampire facials and covering your whole body in foundation, Zoë is most skeptical about Botox in your armpits for sweating.

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Chris Brown Is Off The Hook For Allegedly Attacking A Photographer

/ August 20, 2019

TMZ says that Chris Brown won’t face charges for the alleged attack on a photographer that happened back in 2017. Chris was accused of decking a photographer right in the face–which is so strange and out of character for the level-headed and otherwise calm Chris Brown. Well Chris can count his lucky stars this time, as the Florida Attorney’s Office has decided not to charge him with anything since apparently the complaining witness has “credibility” issues.

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