Night Crumbs

/ July 16, 2019

After losing the role of Elvis to Vanessa Hudgens’ man, Harry Styles (seen above in gender fluid Elvis drag) is apparently “in talks” to play Prince Eric opposite Halle Bailey’s Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid. So I guess this Little Mermaid is really changing things up, and this one, Ariel is a Directioner who sings, “What would I give…. to know if you’re really fucking Louis Tomlinson or not.” – Just Jared

Everything about the On Becoming God In Central Florida trailer is perfect, but what we really got me is Beth Ditto giving me young Delta Burke in a remake of Steel Magnolias glamour – Lainey Gossip 

An anonymous footballer is teasing that he’s going to come out as gay soon, and before you say, “Crispy Ronaldo, is that you?”, the footballer is from an English team – Towleroad

So this what Netflix came up with after asking each other, “Hmm… how can we get everyone talking about that 13 Reasons Why show again?” – Pajiba

If your goth friend in 10th grade suddenly became rich, this is the video she would come up with and play at her My Super Sweet 16 party – OMG Blog

I thought this was Carole Radziwill gone wild for a second – Drunken Stepfather

And I thought this was Jennie Garth for a quick second. The Braille Institute, here I come! – Popoholic

Bella Thorne is serving 70s hooker ad creepiness – Hollywood Tuna

Danielle Fishel finally got to take her newborn baby home from the NCIU – SOW

Something we don’t need: a movie about 1920s Hollywood starring Emma Stone and Brad Pitt and brought to us by the dude who did La La Land – Celebitchy

Pic: Wenn.com

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Duchess Meghan Admitted It Hasn’t Been “Easy” Getting People To Accept Her As Prince Harry’s Wife

/ July 16, 2019

Ever since Duchess Meghan married Prince Harry, it seems like there’s been no end to the stories about Meghan’s alleged demanding, difficult, stuck-up, spoiled, wasteful, too-Hollywood, diva duchess ways, etc… We’re barely a year out from the day Meghan married Harry, and every day since, the British press has basically been that aunt who lowers her sunglasses dramatically and hisses, “Oh you’re NEVER going to guess what she’s been up to now.” So nobody should have been surprised when Meghan recently spoke about her relationship and implied it hasn’t been all red carpets and tiaras.

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R. Kelly Was Denied Bail After Pleading “Not Guilty” In Federal Case

/ July 16, 2019

Robert Sylvester Kelly pleaded not guilty today to federal child pornography and sex trafficking charges. According to TMZ he was denied bail even though his attorney Steve Greenberg essentially argued that he’s too broke, dumb, and scared to jump bond. The judge sided with the prosecution who suggested it was best if Robert keep his pants on (in this case, a bright orange jumpsuit, sadly not pictured) for the time being and remain in jail.

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Grimes Claims She Got Eye Surgery To Prevent Seeing Blue Light

/ July 16, 2019

It’s no secret that Elon Musk wants to build a spaceship and go to Mars. But I’m starting to think it’s not because he’s into space travel, but because he really wants to fuck a martian. This is based solely off his current girlfriend, Grimes, who might just have outed herself as humanity’s closest DNA match to an extra-terrestrial.

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Kate Winslet Was Moved To Tears Upon Learning One Of Her Ancestors Was Poor

/ July 16, 2019

Kate Winslet is very, very rich but she doesn’t self-identity as rich. She would much rather you think of her as a poor person who just so happens to have a lot of money. In fact, Kate’s so poor on the inside, she’s practically descended from slaves, a fact she cried upon learning when it was revealed to her on the BBC genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are?.

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Open Post: Hosted By Twinkies Cereal, Which May Become An Actual Thing

/ July 16, 2019

I’m glad to see that cereal companies don’t give a single fuck about the rise of childhood diabetes in the world–as it’s being reported by Food & Wine that a new cereal is on the horizon. Twinkies cereal, which looks like a cross between fried maggots and uncut penises, may be coming soon, so expect blood sugar levels to get to some dangerous levels.

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