Discovery+ has released the trailer for House of Hammer, which sadly isn’t a home renovation show hosted by MC Hammer. It’s a three-part series about Armie Hammer’s abuse allegations and his fucked-up family tree. The special includes interviews with several of Armie’s accusers, and one shares texts and notes where he tells her that he is “100% a cannibal” and wants to “eat” her. Well, if Armie ever goes back to selling timeshares, tourists he’s trying to sell to are probably going to recognize him and think, “Wait, did he say that I’d get a complimentary lunch if I sit through this 16-hour presentation, or did he say I’d BE lunch,” as they reach for their pocketbook to skedaddle out of there – Pajiba
Jon Hamm has joined the disjointed train wreck that is The Morning Show for its third season. How the mighty have fallen fast! I mean, Jon Hamm has gone from riding high in his career by co-starring with Flo in Progressive commercials to this! – Just Jared
It’s abundantly clear that Elon Musk doesn’t follow the advice of counsel, otherwise he wouldn’t be pumping his employees full of his “alien” seed. I shudder to think of how much money he wastes on high-powered attorneys just so he can call them into his office and make direct eye contact with them while taking an enormous dump on his own desk. This week Elon’s legal team probably suited up and rubbed some camphor under their noses before stepping into his office to tell him it’s not a great idea to challenge Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal to a public debate about the number of bot and spam accounts on the platform two months ahead of the trial in which Twitter is seeking for force him to uphold his contractual obligation to buy the company for $44 billion. But Elon just stared at them with his beady little eyes and squeezed one out while tweeting “I hereby challenge @paraga to a public debate about the Twitter bot percentage.” Look, I talk a lot of shit about Elon but he’s not completely devoid of skills. Tweeting while shitting is easy, but being able to tweet while shitting on a desk in front of an audience is why Elon stays a #winner.
There were no Golden Globes on NBC this year. Awards were given out in a scaled down ceremony at the Beverly Hilton, but they weren’t aired. Every celebrity in the world, save Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, declined the invitation to go. And those two only showed up in separate pre-taped segments, neither of which had anything to do with True Lies! You see, everyone hates the Hollywood Foreign Press. Major PR firms told their clients to ignore HFPA until they actually follow through on their promises to improve diversity, inclusivity, and not accept bribes and gifts (see: Emily in Paris getting two nominations after giving voters a glamorous trip to France). A few months ago, we learned that the awards show lost their PR firm. All signs pointed to the death of the Golden Globes: 1944-2022. Pia Zadora had already prepared a beautiful eulogy. But now Deadline is reporting that the Globes may actually be resurrected on NBC next year. Sorry, Pia! Back to your cave you go.
Open Post: Hosted By The Thank You Note Beyonce Sent Madonna For Her Help With The “Break My Soul” Remix
As Renaissance continues to provide the soundtrack for the BeyHive’s lives, Beyonce knows she can only stay stagnant for so long. Although Renaissance‘s first single Break My Soul is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, Beyonce decided to remix the song with Madonna‘s iconic 1990 hit Vogue, calling it The Queens Remix. As a thank you for her assistance, Beyonce literally gave Madonna her flowers as well as a note that Madge immediately posted to her Instagram so everyone knows she’s still cool.
In Her Response To Jason Sudeikis’ Child Custody Filing, Olivia Wilde Says He Chose To Serve Her In “The Most Aggressive Way Possible” Onstage At CinemaCon (UPDATE)
Back in April, Olivia Wilde was served custody papers from Jason Sudeikis while onstage at CinemaCon in front of 4,000 people. She was there to talk about her upcoming movie, Don’t Worry Darling, aka the flick where she and Harry Styles fell in love. After the incident made headlines, Jason’s spokesperson said “he would never condone her being served in such an innappropriate manner.” But many people, including the folks at CinemaCon and a random family law attorney interviewed by People, thought that was bullshit; Jason totally knew! And it looks like Olivia agrees. In new court documents obtained by The Daily Mail, she accuses Jason of intentionally trying to “embarrass” and “threaten” her by serving her “in the most aggressive manner possible.” Ohhh, I dunno, Olivia. Jason could’ve gone full Looney Tunes and stuck a lit stick of dynamite into that manila envelope.
Joe Exotic Is Hoping For Another Shot At A Presidential Pardon With Help From “90 Day Fiancé” Alum Jesse Meester
Joseph Maldonado-Passage, or Joe Exotic as he’s better known, has been begging for a presidential pardon since rising to fame on one of the skankiest shows to come out of the pandemic: Netflix’s Tiger King. Joe has been imprisoned since January 2020 for animal abuse and having a hit out on rival cat lady/“that bitch” Carole Baskin. Joe seemed to be close to getting a pardon from that past reality star/probably future inmate president (that we don’t need to mention by name near meal times), but fell short, while clemency was granted to rappers Lil Wayne and Kodak Black. Now, Joe is attempting to be pardoned by President Biden with the help of another reality person–Jesse Meester– who appeared on 90 Day Fiancé and is the ex of notable cougar, Darcey Silva.