Kali Uchis (25)
Billie Lourde (27)
Summer Bishil (31)
Brandon Eaton (33)
Tom Fletcher (34)
Sarah Jones (36)
Mike Vogel (40)
Panda Bear (41)
Katharine Towne (41)
Luke Bryan (43)
Dagmara Dominczyk (43)
Elena Anaya (44)
Tony Dovolani (46)
Jason Clarke (51)
Beth Littleford (51)
Heather Langenkamp (55)
Mark Burnett (59)
Fern Britton (62)
Chancellor Angela Merkel (65)
Lucie Arnaz (68)
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall (72)
Diahann Carroll (84)
Donald Sutherland (84)
Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)
It’s all about the Emmys for the first part of this episode, and Allison and I start off with slandering Game of Thrones left and right (so plug your ears GoT nerds) and then we end with Allison cooing out an ode to Ripped Mac from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. After our Emmys coverage, we talk about how Scarlett Johansson is pretty much the God of acting since she as an actor should be able to play anyone and anything. And then we end the first part with the meth gators of Tennessee (NOT FLORIDA!) and how much Allison and I overanalyze punctuation in text messages.
We also get into Lashana Lynch as 007, Austin Butler as Elvis, Harry Styles as Prince Eric, Grimes as a lie-telling troll, and we wonder if swimming in a pool counts as bathing. And a little correction, in this episode I say that Angela Lansbury has been nominated for 17 Emmys. She’s been nominated 18 times. I will never forgive myself for this mistake about an international treasure!!
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After losing the role of Elvis to Vanessa Hudgens’ man, Harry Styles (seen above in gender fluid Elvis drag) is apparently “in talks” to play Prince Eric opposite Halle Bailey’s Ariel in the live-action The Little Mermaid. So I guess this Little Mermaid is really changing things up, and this one, Ariel is a Directioner who sings, “What would I give…. to know if you’re really fucking Louis Tomlinson or not.” – Just Jared
Everything about the On Becoming God In Central Florida trailer is perfect, but what we really got me is Beth Ditto giving me young Delta Burke in a remake of Steel Magnolias glamour – Lainey Gossip
An anonymous footballer is teasing that he’s going to come out as gay soon, and before you say, “Crispy Ronaldo, is that you?”, the footballer is from an English team – Towleroad
So this what Netflix came up with after asking each other, “Hmm… how can we get everyone talking about that 13 Reasons Why show again?” – Pajiba
If your goth friend in 10th grade suddenly became rich, this is the video she would come up with and play at her My Super Sweet 16 party – OMG Blog
I thought this was Carole Radziwill gone wild for a second – Drunken Stepfather
And I thought this was Jennie Garth for a quick second. The Braille Institute, here I come! – Popoholic
Bella Thorne is serving 70s hooker ad creepiness – Hollywood Tuna
Danielle Fishel finally got to take her newborn baby home from the NCIU – SOW
Something we don’t need: a movie about 1920s Hollywood starring Emma Stone and Brad Pitt and brought to us by the dude who did La La Land – Celebitchy
Ever since Duchess Meghan married Prince Harry, it seems like there’s been no end to the stories about Meghan’s alleged demanding, difficult, stuck-up, spoiled, wasteful, too-Hollywood, diva duchess ways, etc… We’re barely a year out from the day Meghan married Harry, and every day since, the British press has basically been that aunt who lowers her sunglasses dramatically and hisses, “Oh you’re NEVER going to guess what she’s been up to now.” So nobody should have been surprised when Meghan recently spoke about her relationship and implied it hasn’t been all red carpets and tiaras.
Robert Sylvester Kelly pleaded not guilty today to federal child pornography and sex trafficking charges. According to TMZ he was denied bail even though his attorney Steve Greenberg essentially argued that he’s too broke, dumb, and scared to jump bond. The judge sided with the prosecution who suggested it was best if Robert keep his pants on (in this case, a bright orange jumpsuit, sadly not pictured) for the time being and remain in jail.
It’s no secret that Elon Musk wants to build a spaceship and go to Mars. But I’m starting to think it’s not because he’s into space travel, but because he really wants to fuck a martian. This is based solely off his current girlfriend, Grimes, who might just have outed herself as humanity’s closest DNA match to an extra-terrestrial.