Night Crumbs

/ September 17, 2019

When Entertainment Weekly asked Brad Pitt about campaigning to get an Oscar nomination for either Ad Astray (typo and it stays) or Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, he said no thanks and that he’s going to abstain from that game. Honestly, Brad doesn’t need to campaign. Since he’s in The Koven now, he just has to ask Pimp Mama Kris to make a sacrifice to her boss Satan to make a nomination happen. Although, it may be a little awkward when PMK runs into Angelina Jolie as they’re both hunting for virgin sacrifices – Lainey Gossip 

If Kendall Jenner went dirty dishwater blond (apologies to dirty dishwater) to look even more dead in the eyes, it worked! – Celebitchy

The Birds of Prey poster is a dream straight out of the mind of a 90s raver/Hot Topic loyal customer – Pajiba

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NBCUniversal Is Working On A “Saved By The Bell” Sequel Starring Jessie Spano And A.C. Slater

/ September 17, 2019

A few years ago, Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez slipped into their tightest buns-hugging jeans and reunited as Jessie Spano and A.C. Slater for a bit on Jimmy Fallon’s TV show. And that was about as close as we all were going to get to an official Saved by the Bell sequel, reboot, or revival. Until now, that is. I hope they didn’t donate those buns-huggers, because NBCUniversal are bringing Mama and Macho Pig back for a Saved by the Bell sequel.

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Brad Pitt Is A Fan Of Kanye West’s Sunday Service

/ September 17, 2019

Apparently, Brad Pitt got the vapors after attending Kanye West’s Sunday Service in Watts over Labor Day weekend. According to Entertainment Tonight, Brad thinks Kanye’s really onto something special. I mean I get it. We understand that you’re undertaking some sort of rebirth/rebranding/How Floyd Got His Groove Back endeavor, but Brad, honey, step away from The Koven. Kanye’s ego can’t take it. One more compliment from a famous white man he admires and his head is going to explode, covering all of Calabasas county in a thick miasma of half-baked ideas and ear wax.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Couple Who Were Arrested For Having Sex In The Back Of A Police Car

/ September 17, 2019

Florida, America’s horniest state, has once again blessed us with a sticky, gooey MESS. Somebody needs to send a mage with a freshly sharpened quill down to the citadel to pull out the dusty tome called “The Book Of Horny Legends” because it needs to be updated. A Nassau County couple, Megan Lynn Mondanaro, 35, and Seth Aaron Thomas, 31, were arrested and charged with multiple crimes after they allegedly took an all expenses paid trip to The Bone Zone in the back of a patrol car after having failed field sobriety tests for biking while drunk and horny. The focus! The determination! The gall, and the nerve! Megan and Seth, we salute you!

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