In case you’ve been living under a rock the last couple years, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry finally ended their very public feud, cementing their status as legendary feminist icons totally above petty Bad Blood and that Swish Swish, Bish shit. Recently the two have elevated their relationship from “not enemies” to “actually kinda friends”, as evidenced by Taylor sending Katy a hand-embroidered blanket for her three-week-old daughter Daisy Dove Bloom.
Well, it finally happened. After a nearly year-long gestation (her estimate), and a music video that gave me at least three nights worth of pregnant clown nightmares, Katy Perry has finally given birth to her first child with fiancé, Orlando Bloom. Or rather, it might be more fitting to say that her baby finally blossomed, for reasons which will be very apparent to you in just a minute. Because Katy and Orlando went kitschy with the name.
Katy Perry is STILL pregnant with a baby, but today, she gave birth to another kind of baby, a terrifying clown baby in the form of her video for Smile. In Katy’s video for Never Worn White, she revealed that she’s pregnant with Orlando Bloom’s baby, and in her video for Smile, she revealed that she’s a big fan of commercials for children’s game apps, which is what the video looks like. And if Zoloft and Lexapro needed a theme song they should send Katy a check right now, because this is it!
Every summer needs a viral dance challenge. But because summer 2020 is still all about COVID-19, I would have thought the breakout dance challenge would be a bunch of teens socially distance-dancing to Madonna’s dance cover of “Fever.” But much like 2018’s viral summer dance moment, this one also utilizes the use of a motor vehicle. It involves getting out of a moving vehicle and busting a roadside move to the 1994 dance track, “Push The Feeling On” by Scottish house group Nightcrawlers. But the trend might be nearing its expiration date, because parents have gotten in on it. Kanye West got in on it, and now Katy Perry has dragged her unborn baby girl into it. Someone get an ultrasound machine to see if we can hear Katy’s baby groaning, “MoooOOOOooom, stop embarrassing me!”
In a cover story for People, Ellen DeGeneres superfan Katy Perry says she has gone through it. The very pregnant Katy was forced to delay both her destination wedding to Orlando Bloom and the release of her new album, Smile (which has been rescheduled for August 28) thanks to that darn pandemic. And before that, Katy says she suffered through the “darkest years of her life” after 2017’s Witness didn’t sell as many copies as her previous record-breaking albums.
It’s all hands on deck/boar on the floor at The Ellen Degeneres Show as producers scramble to right the ship. According to Us Weekly, on Monday, producers held a staff meeting assuring employees that “the show will go on” and that they are doing everything possible to ensure that people “have fun at work,” because “a show that brings so much happiness and fun, it should be a happy show to work on.” To that end, ice cream and tickle breaks between floggings will be the new norm.