I know they say you aren’t supposed to beat a dead horse, but what if the horse is actually undead and not really a horse at all, but more of a moldering human corpse with a lot of snappy one-liners? This is the question the folks at Plan B Entertainment, Brad Pitt’s production company, asked themselves before deciding to go ahead and flog the shit out of Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice. But you know what they also say? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, especially if he’s dead. But according to Screen Rant, after spending more than 30 years in The Neitherworld Waiting Room (sometimes referred to as “development hell” by Hollywood types), that green lady finally called Beetlejuice 2’s number, with Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder both reported to be on board.
And it didn’t make history because it was the first time everyone in the audience and the viewers at home said the words, “Wow, what an enjoyable and short award ceremony!“. I’m sure some people said that, due to the fact that the SAG Awards clocked in at a tight 60 minutes, as promised. And there was no doubt a lot of people appreciated that a pre-taped show cut out the middle man (the middle man being a long-winded acceptance speech that begins with at least 9 full seconds of folded paper fumbling). But the big news was that for the first time in SAG Awards history, all four film acting categories went to non-white nominees. Like the category for Female Actor in a Leading Role – Motion Picture, which went to Viola Davis, seen above freaking out from the comfort of her own couch.
Last night’s Emmys was a Schitt’s storm of epic proportions and I’m not talking about the writing. No, I’m making an obvious and lazy pun based on the fact that Schitt’s Creek swept the show, winning in every comedy category of the night. And because of the order in which the categories were presented, the entire first hour of the broadcast was just creator, writer and star Daniel Levy scrambling to decide whether to leave the mask on or take it off each time his show won an Emmy. Which was 9 times! The show set a record for the “most wins in a single season for a comedy” (per The Hollywood Reporter) and almost everybody was happy for them. Everyone that is except Leslie Jones. Yes, it would seem the rather tall lady from SNL does not enjoy gentle Canadian comedy. It’s weird because hating on Schitt’s Creek is like hating on an adorable kitten with markings that make it look like it has Groucho Marx eyebrows. Who could be mad at that?!
The Emmys happened last night despite nobody being allowed near each other due to coronavirus still spreading through humanity one TikTok party mansion at a time. A few celebrities (like Jennifer Aniston, Tracee Ellis Ross, Laverne Cox, etc…) showed up at the Staples Center to present, but most celebrities stayed home. The ceremonial red carpet was switched up and the famous people just took their own pics and posted them themselves. Their choice of professional photography and they don’t have to make small talk with whatever half-peasant correspondent was put in front of them? Talk about a big win.
Catherine O’Hara is an undisputed Canadian Comedy Queen™, but even she managed to out-legend herself on Thursday in a video that has since made the rounds and is currently putting every single acceptance speech in the history of awards shows to shame. Anne Hathaway? Get over yourself. Gwyneth Paltrow? Take a seat.
Love it or hate, it’s Scarlett Johansson’s world and we’re just living in it. Like literally, everything from the trees in the forest to all the hysterical wives in Brooklyn, it’s all Scarlett, all the time. Scarlett earned three Screen Actors Guild nominations today, and we have to assume her dear friend Woody Allen was one of the first calls she made when she heard the news. According to Variety, Scarlett got two noms for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role for Jojo Rabbit and Marriage Story, as well as a nomination in the Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture category for Jojo Rabbit. Add that to her Golden Globe nomination announced earlier this week, they’re probably just going to go ahead and call movies “Scarletts” from now on.