The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
I have not been keeping up with Alicia Keys. Last time I clocked her, she was on Empire, sitting at a white piano wailing about a post-racial society. On Empire! Then I stopped watching Empire so I have no idea what she’s up to these days. Turns out that besides cosplaying as the lovechild of Carmen Sandiego and Hamburglar, and ceremonially burning fake-eyelashes in her hearth, the 15-time Grammy award winner is going to host the 2019 Grammy Awards next month. And according to USA Today, she’ll be the first woman to do so in 14 years since Queen Latifah hosted in 2005. In case you’re scratching your head like me trying to remember who the fuck else has hosted the Grammys, I can tell you that they went hostless from 2006 – 2011. Then LL Cool J hosted from 2012 to 2016, and James Corden did it in 2017 and 2018.
The Queen of Soul may have also been the Queen of Debt. Aretha Franklin died in August, and she obviously left behind a legacy of music. The tax man has a different way of remembering Aretha. The IRS now claims Queen Aretha owes millions in back taxes, and let’s just hope a planned tribute concert will put a dent in that pile of debt. Continue reading
During interview with Net-A-Porter’s The Edit, SANS FARDS enthusiast Alicia Keys said that fards isn’t the only thing that’s sans in her life. Alicia is currently raising two sons, 6-year-old Egypt and 1-year-old Genesis, with her husband Swizz Beats, and she’s trying really hard to raise them sans sexism.
The 35th anniversary of the birth of Beysus (I’ll pause here for all of us shady bitches who need to throw a side-eye at “35“) was on Sunday and she celebrated Beymas all weekend long. Beyonce and Blue Ivy Carter spent Friday with Michelle Obama at Camp David, Chance The Rapper serenaded her at the Made In America festival in Philadelphia on her actual born day, and last night she threw herself a giant Soul Train-themed party in NYC. A zillion famous tricks went to Beyonce’s party, including Puffy whose puffy b-hole probably screamed out a YES when he got the invitation, because he finally had a reason to wear that $3 swap meet-bought Vinnie Barbarino wig.
MTV was really taking a risk by having everyone walk into the VMAs on a white carpet instead of a red one. It was an award show shot in HD, which means it wasn’t a shock to see some people strolling in with their faces covered in a 1/4 inch thick layer of foundation, concealer, powder, the shadow from 6 Morphe eye palettes, 18oz of lipstick, and an entire bottle of setting spray. There’s no way MTV would have gotten their damage deposit back if someone like Kim Kardashian were to trip and land face-first on that carpet. If Kim left a makeup imprint of her face on that carpet, you know the first thing she would have done was had it sent to her mom’s house with a note that said: “Possible $$$ opportunity. Call the rug from Aladdin and set up a camera.”
Thankfully MTV didn’t have to worry about any of that when Alicia Keys hit the white carpet, because her face was au naturel….kind of.