While Promoting His Batshit New Movie, Christopher Walken Revealed He’s Never Sent An Email Or Owned A Computer Or Cell Phone
Christopher Walken was born in 1943. He got his start on The Colgate Comedy Hour. His poofed hairstyle was originally inspired by Elvis Presley. And he was on that boat the night Natalie Wood died. This is all to say: the guy is old. So it comes as no surprise he isn’t particularly tech-savvy (zero shade to his fellow members of the Silent Generation who’ve mastered their iPads). But it is shocking that in all of his seventy-seven years on Earth, Christopher has never owned a cell phone, computer, or even sent an email! Ludditesayswhat?
Dolly Parton is a QUEEN. And I know that coronavirus has hit all industries, but she better not reneg on her promise of a wig collection! Don’t think we’ve forgotten! But when she was on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert she wasn’t there to talk wigs, unfortunately. She has a new book out and because Dolly is such an iconic country legend, her conversation inevitably led to a song, and that song inevitably led to Stephen crying on TV.
The One World: Together at Home global concert event happened last night, featuring a ton of celebrities who, at some point, got tired of staring at the wall and instead decided to mic up, find the part of their house that looks the least opulent, and croak out some of your favorite karaoke tunes (mostly, sans fards) in real-time. It raised more than $127 million to fight coronavirus, and yes, Ellen DeGeneres found a way to piss people off… during a charity show. It’s a gift!
Idris Elba was on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, and it turns out that Idris is not just a multi-talented sexy man/actor/DJ, he’s also completely clueless about the movie of which he has a starring role: Cats. To be fair, no one on Earth understands what the fuck is going on in Cats, it would be wrong to expect the same of Idris.
Bill & Ted are back with another installment of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Yes, I’ll probably see it in the theaters, because if Hollywood is refusing to evolve past a bunch of teenage dumbos time traveling in a pay phone, then I refuse to evolve as well. Keanu Reeves went on Steven Colbert‘s show to discuss the upcoming movie, and while explaining the premises of the movie, things took an interesting/dark turn.
You might be thinking, “Err, exactly which anti-LGBTQ church are you talking about?” Today, we’re talking about Hillsong, that “alleged” money-making cult ran by the Hobby Lobby Terry Richardson, Pastor Carl Lentz. Justin Bieber was the Jesus of Hillsong before moving on to some other hipster church called The City Church. Hillsong is not a normal church, it’s a cool church, and it may dress itself up like a skinny jeans-wearing liberal hipster who marches in Pride Parades and holds up a Planned Parenthood sign at the Women’s March, but it’s against abortion and doesn’t exactly embrace gays. Chris Pratt is a member of Hillsong, and yesterday, Ellen Page called him out for it.