Another day, another example of a fool (or likely a team of fools) who just can’t manage to read the room. Rita Ora‘s music video for her latest single, “How to be Lonley”, is getting some online shit since nobody can find a damn egg, and yet, here’s Rita delivering real art by making egg angels in a field of eggs. Yes, Rita Ora is the reason why none of us can find eggs!
If you read that headline to my mother she would think you sneezed, coughed, and then said something about the Met Gala in a feud with reporters. But I know that Dua Lipa is a human woman whose song One Kiss with Calvin Harris definitely invaded your eardrums one too million times. And I also know that Rita Ora (yes, that is Rita above) is someone who wishes that description could be used for her. But instead she’s known as “the singer featured on Iggy Azalea‘s Black Widow”. Which is more information which would confuse grown adults. Well these two people who only the young and hip would know about are reportedly in a feud, so lets get into the petty drama, shall we?
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
America’s third favorite Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield, was spotted strolling in London with the same mystery woman he reportedly started dating back in November. It’s a big change for Andrew to go from dating a white-hot A-lister like Emma Stone, to a plain, nondescript gal like Rita Ora (that’s her name, according to Daily Mail). The pair were photographed walking together in the Primrose Hill neighborhood, and “Rita hid her peroxide blonde locks under her trendy baker boy hat” as if she thought she might be recognized. Which might actually be true. The Mail calls her “The Hot Right Now hitmaker, 28”, so I guess if I cared to Google “Hot Right Now”, I might be able to figure out who she is. She’s alternately described as a “blond bombshell”, a “singer” and “Your Song hitmaker”. This is my “Mr. Police, I gave you all the clues” moment, and I am failing miserably!
Rita Ora is the queen of doing basically nothing but still getting invited to everything. Have you ever heard a Rita Ora song that she wasn’t a feature in or featured people way more relevant than her? Didn’t think so. Yet homegirl still gets invited to the MET Gala and shit! Well, Rita needs to keep her Queen of Showing Up career alive because those Rimmel London ads aren’t worth nothing without a bit-o-tabloid publicity. So now, it’s being reported that she’s dating former Spider-Man Andrew Garfield.
Since it’s Thanksgiving and most of us here at Dlisted are going to spend the rest of the day making our stomachs and bowels sing “AH’M BEGGING FOR YOU MER-SAAAAAY!” by shoving pounds of meat into our face holes like we’re a power bottom at a pass around Patty orgy, we’re pressing pause on our regularly scheduled programming of foolery today. But I will leave you with the Empress of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Diana Ross, waving to her subjects while wearing the carcass of a Yeti. Diana also performed and proved that her voice is so powerful that she doesn’t need a stupid mic to fill the land with it, and she is such a talented goddess that she can sing without even moving her lips!