In case you’ve forgotten at one time Taylor Lautner is also on Taylor Swift‘s long list of ex-lovers. Here’s your reminder. Apparently, they both were an item during her ill-fated night at the 2009 MTV VMAs when Kanye West jumped onstage and basically told TayTay “Bitch you’ll NEVER be Beyonce!” And although that’s true, she has gone on to achieve a career just as important to music with a fan base that’s just as insane as the Beyhive. Nevertheless, because of his years barking after Bella in the Twilight franchise Taylor Lautner used to be a thing. And now he’s recalling that night with much regret because he wishes he would have stepped in and said something to Kanye after seeing all the hurt and sorrow on TayTay’s face in the aftermath.
Only being a casual observer of Taylor Swift’s oeuvre, I have no option but to take her new video for Lavender Haze from the Midnights album at face value. However, according to Elle, “there are ample Easter eggs in it referencing her past, lyrics, and possible future music releases.” And in a way, that much was clear even for someone like me who is more familiar with Taylor’s work as a semi-professional litigant and in Cats. Taylor’s as rich as the day is long, so no matter the cost of eggs in #thesetryngtimes, it’s no wonder she’s been hoarding them for Lavender Haze. Because as far as I can tell, Taylor spends the entirety of the video crop-dusting her lover, herself, and her new Diversity 2.0 posse of pals with her visibly noxious, rotten Easter egg farts. I never want to hear about Taylor not sacrificing her vanity for her art ever again. She nasty!
Now that we know the dance segments during Ellen DeGeneres‘ talk show were probably her attempt to bob and weave an invisible Satan finally coming to collect her rotted soul, her old interviews have become hard to watch. And since the internet loves to remind us of how things used to be, there are many examples of Ellen’s now infamous cruelty on display during a time when we thought she was just being funny and quirky. Now in hindsight, we realize Ellen’s kind of an asshole. And 2022’s reigning dinner date queen Emily Ratajkowski recently came across two ancient interviews with Ellen and Zane Lowe featuring the Baroness of Beautiful Gowns, Taylor Swift. And EmRata chose not to be kind in her response to Ellen’s behavior with Taylor.
Future Academy Award-winning director Taylor Swift may have the world eating out of her hands at the moment, but let’s never forget that she’s been walking around with a legal dingleberry hanging off her ass for the past five years (seven if you count the previously dismissed case over this song). Thankfully, just in time for her very first Oscar campaign, Taylor was finally able to shake it off, so to speak, after her legal team got in there with a pair of sharp scissors and cut the sucker out of her ass fur. Apparently, that was the only way to lick it. Back in 2017, Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, the songwriters behind Players Gon’ Play, a song they wrote in 2001 and was recorded in 2013 by the R&B group 3LW, filed suit against Taylor, claiming she STOLE the lyrics “players gonna play, And the haters gonna hate,” as well as “and the fakers gonna fake,” and used them in her song Shake It Off off her smash hit 2013 album 1989.
Taylor Swift Has Signed On With Searchlight Pictures To Write And Direct Her First Feature-Length Film
Just a year after making her sure-to-be Oscar-nominated directorial debut with the 15-minute short film, All Too Well, which doubles as a music video for her two-time smash hit song of the same name, Variety reports that Taylor Swift is gearing up to wade into deeper water by directing a feature-length film of her own original script for Searchlight Pictures. Variety also reports that Taylor will be sharing her insights and wisdom as a director with fellow auteurs such as James Cameron, Ryan Coogler, and Francis Ford Coppola as part of their Directors on Directors series, featuring “conversations between directors of the biggest films of the year.” Safe to say that at this point in Taylor’s remarkable career, it’s not hyperbole to call her one of the world’s most talented, gifted, and virtuosic storytellers of her or any other generation when it comes to shameless self-promotion. Simply put — she’s the best to ever do it.
I don’t want anybody to get too excited: The prediction I’m about to make may be premature, as it is based solely on the pretentious Art fumes wafting off of Zoë Kravitz’ recent interview with GQ in which she touches on falling in love with Channing Tatum, the star of her upcoming feminist directorial debut, over their shared passion for Art, not long after the dissolution of her marriage Karl Glusman, and disputes the idea that “nepo babies” are any different from regular babies that go into the same business as their parents. I mean, I obviously hope and pray that we have another Don’t Worry Darling situation on our hands with Pussy Island, but I’m not quite ready to start taking bets. I know the odds are grim, so for now, I’m just floating the idea in case I get the chance to scream, “I TOLD YOU SO!” when, a year from now, we’re all losing our collective shit when Geena Davis shows up late to the Venice Film Festival swirling an Aperol Spritz.