Category: King Charles

Prince Andrew Is Reportedly Renovating The Royal Lodge To Stall His Eviction

June 13, 2023 / Posted by:

A few weeks ago, royal insiders spilled that Prince Andrew is “refusing to budge from the $46 million Royal Lodge, despite his landlord, King Charles  III, wanting his ass out. Andrew has reportedly launched into full squatter mode and is doing everything in his minuscule amounts of power to stay put. The first move in his playbook seems to be renovating Royal Lodge, hoping the uninhabitable construction site will buy him some time, all while keeping his nephew, Prince William, from moving in with Kate Middleton and their children.

Continue reading

Queen Elizabeth II’s Dresser Angela Kelly Seemingly Disses King Charles On Instagram

May 23, 2023 / Posted by:

When Queen Elizabeth II passed on to the big throne in the sky, her son, King Charles III had to figure out what to do with all the people who suckled from her deflated royal teets while she wore the crown- starting with Little Saint James’ former resident Prince Andrew, who Charles slashed his royal allowance and is currently trying to evict from the Royal Lodge. But now, Charles has bigger fish and chips to fry since THE QUEEN’s former dresser Angela Kelly– who’s supposedly salty over being pushed aside by the royal family – has seemingly been shading the King in some cryptic posts and others not so cryptic. And even though Charles is no stranger to having disses thrown his way, Angela isn’t one to fuck with since she’s known for having an arsenal of THE QUEN’s secrets.

Continue reading

Prince Andrew Reportedly Has No Plans Of Leaving The Royal Lodge Despite Possible Eviction

May 15, 2023 / Posted by:

Since THE QUEEN’s death, King Charles has taken it upon himself to take out the trash- and by trash, I mean Prince Andrew– whose £249,000 allowance was reportedly slashed earlier this year by Charles. King Charles has also reportedly been trying to evict Andrew from his current residence at the 30-room Royal Lodge mansion. Charles apparently wants to move Andrew to Frogmore Cottage after kicking out Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. But Andrew is not having it, and sources say that he’s “refusing to budge” from his Royal Lodge.

Continue reading

King Charles Poses With His Family, Queen Camilla, And The Future Kings In A New Series Of Portraits

May 13, 2023 / Posted by:

Hot on the heels of his big crowning ceremony and concert that brought out the biggest and brightest in reality tv show hosts, King Charles has released his official portraits. You can’t have layer after layer of heavy, shiny shit put onto you without having it photographed for posterity. One portrait is of the whole gang, the next has him with the final boss of side pieces, Queen Camilla, and the other features two famous guest stars, both of his sausage fingers, Prince William and Prince George. Sadly, the true star of the Coronation, Sir Karl Jenkins, is nowhere in any of these portraits.

Continue reading

King Charles III’s Big Day Featured Crowns, Joanna Lumley, And A Yawning Prince Louis

May 6, 2023 / Posted by:

If you’re a Brit, then I’m sure your vocal cords are sore (and not in a sexy way) from loudly chanting that oath of allegiance to King Charles III on his Coronation Day. Or your vocal cords are sore from loudly snoring while sleeping through King Chuck’s Corny because you don’t give one shit about it. Whatever the case, King Charles and Queen Camilla’s bloomers filled with panty pudding royale today as they were crowned during the scaled-back three-day Coronation event that is costing British taxpayers ONLY $125 million. King Charles and Queen Camilla’s crowning ceremony happened at Westminster Abbey today and featured a spotlight-stealing cameo from little Prince Louis and a quick appearance by Prince Harry, whose ass is already on a plane back to California for his son Prince Archie’s fourth birthday.

Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By The Giant Penis That Someone Mowed Into The Lawn Where A Coronation Party Is Set To Take Place

May 5, 2023 / Posted by:

We are literally just hours away from King Charles III’s Big Day, and many in Britain couldn’t be unhappier. But like it or not, King Chuck and his ride-or-die second wife, Queen Camilla, are preparing for all of their celebrations away from everyone not important enough to be there. So those poor sods are left to their own devices to celebrate in their own way. And in the town of Bath, a celebration was set to take place at the historic Royal Crescent this weekend. But now, with the addition of a giant dick mowed into the lawn, they better think of a way to remove it immediately.

Continue reading

alt="drupal analytics" >