Category: King Charles
Prince Andrew Is Reportedly “IN DESPAIR” Over Not Inheriting Any Of His Mummy THE QUEEN’s Estate
Since he’s absolutely done nothing wrong, I can understand why Prince Andrew, one of THE QUEEN’s only sons, is reportedly “in despair” that his rather homely older brother, King Charles III was the sole benefactor of their late mother THE QUEEN’s nearly $800M tax-free estate. Having myself been an only child, I can only imagine the humiliation and sadness he must feel. At least I got a 1999 Nissan Sentra when my mom kicked the bucket, but according to The Independent, Andrew has been left not only penniless but might be left with only his deceased father Prince Phillip’s Land Rover to drive. Which is indubitably haunted!
Sarah Ferguson Might Present At The Oscars Thanks To Her Friendship With Lisa Marie Presley
The decidedly unhip British Invasion 2.0 continues apace with The Sun reporting that since she and her free-loading, no-rent paying roommate/ex-husband Prince Andrew got booted out of their Royal Lodge by his brother King Charles III, Sarah Ferguson aka Original Fergie, has been nosing around on this side of the pond, and has already “struck up a close friendship with” a “mysterious Texan billionaire” while “networking in the US.” And Fergie’s next conquest might take place at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. The Sun reports that Fergie may even take the stage to hand out an award based on her “very close” friendship with the Presley family, recently-deceased Lisa Marie Presley in particular. My, my, my; m’lady sure does get around!
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Officially Been Invited To King Charles’ Coronation
People reports that, over the weekend, a spokesperson for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle told The Sunday Times, “The Duke has recently received an email correspondence from his Majesty’s office regarding the coronation.” Translation: after weeks of hemming and hawing, King Charles finally asked Harry and Meghan to come to his crowning ceremony in May. Via email. I’ll bet the couple’s invite was a “P.S.” at the bottom of their recent eviction notice. The other esteemed guests probably received solid gold invitations personally delivered by one of those silent, fuzzy-hat guards riding a horse and carriage.
Prince William Reportedly Backed King Charles’ Decision To Evict Prince Harry and Meghan Markle From Frogmore
The decision to kick Harry Windsor and Meghan Markle out of their former UK home base, Frogmore Cottage, and move Prince Andrew in, wasn’t just King Charles’ call, apparently. The Daily Beast’s sources claim that the decision was made “in partnership” with the next king Prince William. Well, Will needs some pepper with that salt because it sounds like he’s getting back at his brother for hanging him out to dry in Harry’s book Spare, the royal embodiment of Regina George’s “Burn Book.”
King Charles Has Evicted Prince Harry And Meghan Markle From Frogmore Cottage
King Charles has BKE (Big King Energy), and he wants us to know it. Charles is officially showing Prince Harry and Meghan Markle the royal door, and he’s letting it hit them on their asses on the way out. It’s being reported that Harry and Meghan have been evicted from Frogmore Cottage subsequent to Harry’s messy memoir Spare being released. After Harry aired out his family’s royal dirty laundry and more in his book, Charles has let Harry and Meghan know that they’ll have to stay at the Hilton the next time they’re in England because Frogmore is no longer their UK crash pad. And I guess Charles feels that Harry’s actions were worse than his brother Prince Andrew’s because he has reportedly offered Prince Predator the keys to Harry and Meg’s (former) secluded cottage. Because, well, they gotta keep Andrew away from people somehow.
After King Charles’ Coronation, Camilla’s New Title Will Be QUEEN Camilla
You ALL better bow down and get your curtsy’s correct because if not Queen Consort Camilla might take her scepter and knock you upside the head a few times. In May, once King Charles finally accepts the highest position at his company (aka The Windsor Family), his ride-or-die sidepiece wife will be Queen. When THE QUEEN died last year, and Prince Charles became King Charles, Camilla got the title of Queen Consort Camilla. But now it’s being reported that come May, Camilla won’t have that pesky “Consort” in her title anymore.