Category: Chet Hanks

Sources Claim That Emily Ratajkowski Had Already Broken Up With Eric Andre Before His Valentine’s Day Post

March 16, 2023 / Posted by:

With St. Patrick’s Day fast approaching, Emily Ratajkowski is taking no chances with Eric “Mr. Shenanigans” André, who might try to use the holiday to promote their conjoined asses (well, her ass, his tumtum) on Instagram like he did on Valentine’s Day when he shared a cheeky nude mirror pic. Many to that pic as a confirmation of their love. But according to E! News, a source claims that Emily had already broken up with him “days before he posted that photo” and that “she had nothing to do with the posting.” It’s a good thing Emily doesn’t mind people looking at her ass. But apparently, she no longer wishes to be, in any shape or form, even remotely and or tangentially, associated with that other ass. The lengths people will go to distance themselves from Chester Hanks are truly remarkable!

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Eric Andre Calls Chet Hanks “Emotionally Disturbed” And “Dangerous”

March 15, 2023 / Posted by:

Anti-vaxxer and current stand-in for Kanye West, Chet Hanks, was labeled “emotionally disturbed” by comedian Eric Andre in his recent interview with Rolling Stone. If the guy who pretends to shit on the floor in front of his talk show guest thinks you’re fucked up, you must be a real sicko. While being interviewed by Rolling Stone about his upcoming sixth season of The Eric Andre Show and simultaneously doing back-to-back whippets because he “has a headache,”  Emily Ratajkowski’s one-time piece didn’t hold back when it came to his experience interviewing Chet Hanks. And no one even asked about it…  Eric just got right into it. Apparently, Chet was such a hazard that Eric compared having him on set to the movie set of Rust. Don’t worry, Chet; daddy can text Alec Baldwin for his lawyer’s number.

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Nepo Daddy Tom Hanks Welcomes New Nepo Baby Truman Hanks Into The Family Business

January 11, 2023 / Posted by:

Are you happy now? Y’all made so much fun of that little Chet Hanks boy that his pops had to stop in the middle of counting his Pinocchio money to defend his son against allegations that he wouldn’t have a career in the business if it wasn’t for his famous folks. Now Tom Hanks (Yes, that’s Chet’s dad. No, really, I swear!) has to start all over again, which means he’s going to be late making his deposit into Chet’s “rainy day” account, which gets topped off every time Chet opens Instagram. However, according to Entertainment Tonight, Chet isn’t the only Hanks Tom has to make excuses for. As it turns out, Tom’s heretofore unknown son, 27-year-old Truman Hanks, whose mom, like Chet, is Rita Wilson, has also taken a job in the family business, White Boi Industries (unfortunately, Chet was in charge of filing the paperwork), and will be playing a younger version of Tom’s character in the A Man Called Otto, and adaptation of the popular Swedish book A Man Called Ove.

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Tom Hanks Defends Nepo Babies By Saying That The Entertainment Industry Is His “Family Business”

January 6, 2023 / Posted by:

The debate surrounding the advantages of nepo babies lives on even past 2022. This topic is getting a second round of lighter fluid thrown onto it in the form of Tom Hanks stepping up to burn the bridges with those who don’t support his decision to include his entire family in his so-called “family business,” and he likens it to anyone who has a business they would pass along to their children.

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Chet Hanks Talked About Growing Up As Tom Hanks’ Son

February 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Chet Hanks decided that Instagram isn’t the place to share his “super deep talks” (e.g. anti-vaxxer rants and White Boy Summer™ declarations), so he started a YouTube channel. He uploaded his first video, “The Truth About Growing Up As A Hanks,” yesterday. In it he talks about the toxic side of fame and being raised by Tom Hanks. The real takeaway is that 31-year-old Chet doesn’t use Jamaican patois. Not once. Is this… White Boy Growth™?

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A Rapping Rita Wilson Helped Open The 2021 Emmys Last Night

September 20, 2021 / Posted by:

The 2021 Emmys happened last night and the opening was… Have you ever been to a family dinner and the adults get a little too drunk because their kids are old enough to drive home now and they all start sloppily singing some popular song from fifteen years ago and the kids all groan amongst each other, some leave the room in embarrassment and one bright-eyed cousin films it for social media? That. PLUS an awkward rap from a white auntie, courtesy of–WHO ELSE?Rita Wilson. And no, that’s not a picture of Billy Porter angrily begging for her to stop. He’s hyping her up!

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