Category: Night Crumbs

Night Crumbs

September 19, 2018 / Posted by:

We’re living in the time of the baby pig! A baby pig is running this country (I deserve to be trampled by a litter of baby pigs for that one), GrandeSon bought one as a pet, and now Harry Styles is posing with one for Gucci’s ad campaign. But seriously, this is a form of baby pig abuse. If you asked that baby pig if they’d rather an Uber ride to Applegate Farms or pose with Harry Styles looking like the broken condom baby of King Joffrey and Tootsie, they’d probably have to think about it for a minute – Lainey Gossip 

Okay, but where for art thou Cher in this H&M commercial (European territories only) of a music video for SOS? – Towleroad

Bella Hadid is serving really bored early-80s porn star – Drunken Stepfather

Team None Of Those Wrecks – Reality Tea

St. Angie Jolie has signed up for a movie where she’ll play a woman who declares revenge on the trio of evil killers who murdered her family. Why do I have a feeling that she’s going to have one of the evil dude’s name changed to Brad? – Celebitchy

Those bedazzled Oreos on the bottom of Anna Kendrick’s skirt look delicious – Popoholic

Charlie Heaton, who couldn’t get into the US once because he had coke on him, was asked at the Emmys if he was high. Um isn’t everyone at the Emmys high? – OMG Blog

You probably weren’t planning to ever watch Tom Arnold’s Trump Tapes shit show, but just in case you were… – Pajiba

Demi Lovato’s mom talked about her daughter’s overdose – Just Jared

Pic: Gucci/Glen Luchford

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Night Crumbs

September 18, 2018 / Posted by:

The Earth stopped spinning for a good minute yesterday, and scientists around the world nearly issued a CODE RED until they realized the Emmys were going on so it was just from Judith Light delivering some planet-stopping poses again – Lainey Gossip 

Chestica Simpson’s spine is shedding a tear today because her chichis are about to get bigger than her head again since she’s got another baby growing in her body – SOW

Surprisingly enough, the writers of The Conners aren’t killing Roseanne off by giving her a devastating case of Foot In Mouth Disease. Instead they’ve killed her off with an opioid overdose – OMG Blog

If Maya Rudolph was going for “1920s spoiled little rich girl going to the wedding of someone she hates,” she nailed it! – Celebitchy

For some reason, The Silver Fox was shocked and appalled over certified wreck Donald Trump Jr. tweeting a lie – Towleroad

So according to Vicki Gunvalson of The Real PlasticMesses of Orange County, Kelly Dodd is a professional gold digger who is looking to be the very best in her profession by moving on up. Vicki says that like it’s a bad thing! – Reality Tea

Don’t you just hate it when you’re eating ice cream with your top off and some deliciousness dribbles onto your chest? Heidi Klum knows what I’m talking about – Drunken Stepfather

Olivia Munn looks like she’s about to open up for Luann de Lesseps on the cabaret circuit – Popoholic

RiRi is in Allure looking like she just tossed Richard Simmons’ salad – Hollywood Tuna 

The latest Charlie Angel’s reboot will have multiple Bosleys and Sir Patrick Stewart will be one of them – Just Jared

Pic: AP

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Night Crumbs

September 17, 2018 / Posted by:

While many of us have been over here, pronouncing Chrissy Teigen’s last name as TEE-GEN, she’s been thinking to herself, “Bitch, it’s TIE-GEN, but okay.” Chrissy says everyone has been saying her last name wrong, and she doesn’t correct them, because she doesn’t ever correct people. To prove that she’s not just fucking with people for re-tweets, she got her mom to confirm. Or got her mom to shamelessly lie for her!!! Whatever the case may be,  I too have a last name that 99% of people say wrong, and I never correct them. I especially don’t correct a bill collector when they call and butcher my last name while asking for me. I can be 100% truthful when I say, “That’s not me, and I don’t know anyone with that last name, thankyouverymuch”   – SOW

Duchess Meghan did a cookbook. It’s a charity cookbook with the survivors of the Grenfell fire, so I’m sure there’s not a recipe using the tears us Prince Hot Ginge-a-holics shed on his wedding day – Lainey Gossip

My money went toward the $16 million that A Simple Favor brought in this weekend, and it shames me to say this, but I was into it, Blake Lively’s bootleg Marlene Dietrich tuxedos and all – Pajiba

Cardi B denies posting transphobic shit and blamed it on an old Facebook page that she doesn’t have access to and hasn’t tried to get shut down for some reason – Towleroad

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Night Crumbs

September 13, 2018 / Posted by:

After watching the trailers for Bohemian Rhapsody, some are shitting on the makers for glossing over Freddie Mercury’s sexuality and not even mentioning AIDS. Rami said in so many words that the whiners need to stop judging a whole movie by the trailer and that they do get into Freddie’s love of peen and AIDS, but they had to do it in a delicate manner. I’m taking that to mean that Freddie hugs a dude for longer than two seconds in one scene, and instead of having AIDS, he has Diabetes. That high school production of Rent’s impact!  – SOW

RiRi debuted her new line of Fenty chonies in a fashion show that was filled with diverse models, and while I slow clap her for that, I am going to report her to the authorities for continuing to spread ugliness by wearing those tiny Jetsons sunglasses from 90s HELL  – Lainey Gossip 

Dua Lipa’s show in Shanghai turned into a sad and violent gay-hating mess after fans waved rainbow flags in the name of LGBTQ pride – Towleroad

“WHERE IS THE BLACK PUSSY!!!?!!!!” is probably the question people asked most while watching the trailer for the reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch Pajiba

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Night Crumbs

September 12, 2018 / Posted by:

People Magazine’s cover story this week is all about how Duchess Meghan is dealing with being a newbie royal and how she’s lost contact with some friends because she doesn’t know who to trust. Oh, DM, if you need a friend you can trust, get at me. I’ll be 100% honest with you, especially when I say, “Girl, Prince Hot Ginge doesn’t love you. PHG loves a certain skinny fat gay blogger from California and texts him pics of his 10 inch freckled crotch scepter. It is 10 inches, right?” – Celebitchy

Paulina Gretzky may have ended up getting engaged to a cheating slut of a golf player whose name is not Tiger Woods. Paulina erased her fiancé from her Instagram page, which for an Instagram model means that you’re more than dead to her – Lainey Gossip 

I got excited for a second thinking that the matriarch of the Pussycat Dolls wold be joining Real HouseWrecks of New York CityReality Tea

The courts in France would explode with WTFery if someone told them that in America we’ve got children named Bronx Mowgli and Audio ScienceTowleroad

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Night Crumbs

September 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Because I guess people don’t have enough reasons to get the heaves, mustard pizza exists. While you nasty mustard pizza-eating motherfuckers wrap your mouths around that atrocity, I’m going to cuddle up to a pretzel and tell it that it has nothing to worry about and everything will be okay. And yes, then I’m going to murder it by eating it… with mustard the way God intended! – Pajiba

I looked at these pictures of a teenage Pax Jolie-Pitt looking grown, and ten seconds later my first issue of AARP arrived in my mail – Lainey Gossip 

“Errr, as soon as we know for sure that casting a gay as a superhero won’t hurt our checking accounts,” said a Marvel executive to Kit HaringtonTowleroad

In case you were wondering what a turd out of the 90s’ ass looks like, here’s Rita Ora wearing one – Drunken Stepfather

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