Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
I would imagine the only thing eaten at the Met Gala is one’s words when Anna Wintour shows up in that same mother of the bride dress with a boa year after year and you have to pretend to like it or else never appear on Vogue again. The horror! Anyway, Tiffany Haddish seemed to confirm what we all thought: the only things served at a Met Gala are eye rolls and vodka waters. Tiffany arrived to last night’s camp-themed event looking like the Hamburglar with a Ramen wig topped with a hat I definitely have seen worn around town by some Paul Revere impersonators, but her weave wasn’t the only food she was packing. Tiff brought her secret chicken recipe for when she knew she wouldn’t get full from the menu of Tic-Tacs and self-loathing inside.
It’s already off to the damn races for the 2020 Oscars, and Elton John helped Taron Egerton launch his campaign to become Rami Malek 2.0 last night. Elton always throws a big Oscars bash since it’s his annual big dick contest with Madonna and her own Oscars bash. Taron, who is playing Elton in the upcoming Rocketman, actually sang “Tiny Dancer” at Elton’s party, and El was more than happy to oblige since Madge and Gaga’s publicity stunt couldn’t DARE be the news of the night.
Booking a New Year’s Eve show in a major city is a pretty impressive feather for any stand-up comedian’s cap. Unfortunately for Tiffany Haddish, the feather wasn’t tightly secured and fell off and got trampled during her set at Miami’s James L. Knight Center. Tiffany was not ready and bombed spectacularly. And because #thesetryingtimes continue a pace in 2019, some clown recorded it and posted in on Twitter, prompting harsh backlash to Tiffany’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night.
The last time we took a walk around the block on Jump Street, Sony was planning to make a third installment of the 21 Jump Street franchise (23 Jump Street, duh) a crossover event with Men In Black. But according to Collider, that may not be happening because production has already begun on MIB starring Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson, and I guess Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum weren’t invited. That left the 23 Jump Street slot open for Sony to move forward with a female-led version. Now Collider reports that Tiffany Haddish and Awkwafina are both in talks to co-star in what they’ll probably call 23 Boob Street.
It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.