Day five of Caucasian Court TV’s highest-rated show, The Cashmere Yeti: Vengeance at Deer Valley, is underway and earlier today we heard testimony from Terry Sanderson, the 76-year-old retired optometrist who claims that his life was ruined after Gwyneth Paltrow sent him “absolutely flying” when she skied into him from behind at the Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah in 2016. Terry claims to have suffered permanent brain damage that has turned into an unlikable person and robbed him of his ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like wine tasting. On Friday, Gwyneth took the stand and claimed that it was Terry who skied into her that day, and as a result, she “lost half a day of skiing.” She did not, however, blame him for her personality or her inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like food tasting.
Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…
The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.
Rosie O’Donnell, former daytime talk show host, knows what it’s like to have all of America’s eyes (well, the eyes of stay-at-home parents, the elderly, kids home sick from school and people who have misplaced their TV remotes) on her. As a former Daytime Queen of Nice, Rosie has come out in support of Ellen DeGeneres, claiming that, after a while, the daytime television gig can get to you––especially if you’re trying to “fake your essence.” Hmmm…and yet nobody has come out with big-meanie accusations against Bonnie Hunt. So, what is the truth?
Busy Philipps, who will always be legendary bitch Kim Kelly to me, is spending quarantine holed up in her L.A. mansion with her husband, screenwriter Marc Silverstein (he wrote the modern classic Never Been Kissed!), and two daughters, Birdie, 11, and Cricket, 6. Yes, she named her daughters after birds and bugs. If there’s a third, it’ll be named after an even smaller flying organism. Gnat? Flea?
Anyway, the kids are alright (apart from all the homework), but Busy admits that she and Marc, who have been married almost thirteen years, are getting on each other’s nerves.
Busy Philipps had some words to say about her show being canceled. Busy got herself onto Instagram to reflect on the year and posted a bunch of #AlmostGrams, which are Instagram posts that almost happened in 2019. Well, a New Year means go for it, right? So she blew up on E! for cancelling her show and told her followers how she handled it rather badly at the time. So badly that I doubt E! will keep her busy tonight, tomorrow, or ever by giving her another job.
The Michelle Williams who is not black and not in Destiny’s Child is still just as beloved at the cookout after last night Emmy awards. After Michelle won the Emmy for Lead Actress In A Limited Series for playing Gwen Verdon on FX’s Fosse/Verdon, she used her acceptance speech time to bring up the plight of women and equal pay, specifically how hard it is out there for women of color. Michelle Williams, come collect your to-go container with extra biscuit!