Yesterday was Father’s Day, which I believe is the 11th most important holiday in the Kardashian-Jenner family after all the their birthdays, the anniversary of the invention of Botox, Christmas, and Momager’s Day. Caitlyn Jenner decided to wish all her favorite Kardashian-Jenner dads a Happy Father’s Day on social media. Well, all except KUWTK Season 16’s current male villain.
Don’t laugh at Caitlyn, she’s not that off. I hear that Oscar winner Olivia Colman almost wore the elegant pussy bone-baring dress that Kendall wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Olivia definitely would’ve worn it better.
I’m sure it’s taken you several hours to move from the headline to here since your eyeballs flew off to the next county from rolling so hard, so I thank you for sticking with us. At last night’s Vanity Fair Oscar party, Caitlyn Jenner was posing on the carpet with her 22-year-old sugar baby, Sophia Hutchins and decided to give an argument on why Kendall Jenner, who is about as alive as an Oscar statue, could get one in the future.
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Caitlyn Jenner got a scary pre-Halloween surprise when she read the news and realized some fucked up shit might be about to go down that might actually affect her. In light of the recent New York Times revelation that Caitlyn’s ex-BFF Trump and his cronies are tossing around a plan that would essentially bibbidi-bobbidi-boo trans people from existence (by setting everybody’s gender in stone at birth), Caitlyn was put in a sticky wicket! Cait’s has already mildly reprimanded Trump and passed her MAGA hat collection off to Kanye, but this time she really means business. According to People, the gloves are off! Caitlyn not only re-posted a popular message on Twitter AND Instagram, she also used her immense privilege and power to get People Magazine to run a quote. The world doesn’t need another hero, you guys. We have Caitlyn.
So Caitlyn Jenner did a huge fucking puff-piece with Variety for their “Trans Hollywood” issue and they refer to her as “the world’s most famous transgender woman,” so right from the get-go we have a problem. More like Caitlyn Jenner is the most famous transgender woman you would see in a Ted Cruz campaign ad. Speaking of, Caitlyn talks a lot about being a transgender Republican and says she didn’t get a lot of support from the trans community after she made it clear she voted for Trump. Shocking. Continue reading
On Saturday, Brody Jenner went from the hot bro LC used to shed fake tears over on The Hills to husband to Kaitlynn Carter.
Back when it was first announced that 34-year-old Brody and 29-year-old Kaitlyn were getting hitched, I predicted their special day would be filmed for an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But it wasn’t filmed for anything, because as expected, neither Kendall, Kylie, or Caitlyn Jenner were there. Kendall and Kylie’s empty seats weren’t much of a surprise. Brody told People last week that neither of them RSVP’d to their invitations. To be fair, maybe he didn’t know their current address; I mean, he didn’t even know Kylie was pregnant.
Caitlyn, on the other hand, refused to go, because if there was going to be a Kaitlynn Jenner at that wedding being given the center of attention, it would be the original, godddamn it! Caitlyn reportedly let Brody know she had a “work commitment” that she couldn’t get out of. Thankfully, Caitlyn and her daughters can see everything they missed by purchasing this week’s issue of People:
Brody and Kaitlynn got married in front of 50 family members at a resort on Suma Island, off the coast of Indonesia. It was the same resort in which Brody proposed back in 2016 (they met at a party in 2013). Thank god Brody doesn’t have a TMI sex talk show anymore. I’m sure none of those 50 guests wanted to spend any time during the reception trying not to make eye contact with Brody on the mic as he asks if anyone has any questions about what he was planning to do in the honeymoon suit that night.