Everyone was so busy dissecting the so-called Slap Heard Round The World that they missed the far more devastating Silent Slap that Lady Gaga delivered to Caitlyn Jenner’s ego outside the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s 30th annual Academy Awards viewing party. Not to sound too much like one of Chris Rock’s hacky “men vs women” bits, but Lady Gaga did more damage with a demure “I switched baristas,” while turning away, clutching a mile of billowing taffeta, than Will Smith could ever do with his fists of fury.
Caitlyn Jenner Is Boycotting The Beverly Hills Hotel After They Wouldn’t Let Her In Over A Dress Code Violation
Caitlyn Jenner may have lost her bid to become governor of California, but that doesn’t mean she’s given up all the high-minded principles that prompted her to run in the first place. When fellow LGBTQ ally George Clooney boycotted the Beverly Hills Hotel back in 2019 on account of its parent company, the Dorchester Collection, being owned by the Sultan of Brunei and that small nation’s penchant for stoning homosexuals to death, Caitlyn stayed silent. But no more! On Monday, according to TMZ, Caitlyn took a brave stand against tyranny and hatred and vowed to never step foot in the Beverly Hills Hotel again.
As you likely already know, Dave Chappelle’s latest stand-up special for Netflix, The Closer, hasn’t exactly been well-received by everyone. Mainly due to the fact that instead of being chock full of jokes, it’s more packed full of hot takes that goes over well with the “middle-aged front-facing camera selfie taken in a drivers’ seat while wearing wraparound sunglasses” community. Dave talks a lot about the LGBTQ+ community, with stress on the T. Dave believes that the trans community is trying to “cancel” him for what he says in The Closer, and has only agreed to meet with his haters under conditions determined by Dave himself. But there is one member of the trans community who has decided to speak up in support of Dave. Please welcome to the stage, Caitlyn Jenner! Wait, does anyone else hear that cricket chirping through the silence? It’s not just me, right?
Sour Grapes! Caitlyn Jenner Says “You Get What You Deserve” After Losing Her Bid To Replace Gavin Newsom As Governor Of California
Even though California narrowly avoided (further) international embarrassment by voting NO to recalling Gavin Newsom as Governor, if you bought one of those Caitlyn For California beer koozies, you might want to hang on to it just the same. It could be worth something one day! Probably significantly less than what you paid for it, sure, but I could see someone picking one up at a thrift shop for $1.10, which is the same percentage of people who voted for Caitlyn Jenner, as a gag gift for that special person in your life that you actually can’t stand. I mean, Cait’s probably going to be getting them as stocking-stuffers from her family for many years to come!
Sad news, folks. Caitlyn Jenner has reportedly already blown through all that money she raised for her gubernatorial campaign yet she is still way behind in the polls. Politico reports that the Caitlyn for California campaign is currently about $156,000 in the hole. What, do you think union camera crews come cheap? Well, they don’t! That’s why Caitlyn probably just made her grounds-keeping staff pull double duty.
Back in April, Caitlyn Jenner dropped some news that instantly lowered the temperature of Hell a few degrees: she would be running for Governor of California as a Republican, in an attempt to de-seat current incumbent, Governor Gavin Newsom. Caitlyn is running on a platform of “Gavin Newsom BAD” and “Ew, un-wealthy people!“. And despite the fact that pretty much all her family members are avoiding her calls when it comes to this campaign, she’s still chugging along, full speed ahead. But just because none of her kids or step-kids will be joining her on the campaign trail doesn’t mean they won’t get to see what it was like. According to a campaign spokesperson, Caitlyn has hired a camera crew to follow her around and document Cait’s gubernatorial dreams.