The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Blake Lively has wiped all the pictures from her Instagram account and from the looks of things, she did it for the cultcha! Well, more accurately, she did it for the Emily Nelsons. People reports that Blake has sacrificed her “enviable fashion posts” and her “fan-loved pranks” to help promote her new movie called A Simple Favor about a woman named Emily Nelson who disappears.
Emma Stone really didn’t have much to say about that junior prom princess dress when she reached Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last night. The face she’s making in that picture above kind of says all that needs to be said, really. It’s very “Please direct all Worst Dressed lists to my stylist.”
I really wish the “not-right” part of this story was that nobody wanted to take home that amazing flower-trimmed fedora after they wrapped filming, but it’s actually a whole lot more dark than that.
Based on some very in-depth research (ie. me staring at pictures of his extra-ripped action figure body for ten minutes), I have estimated that Zac Efron’s body is approximately 106% muscle. I know that technically the most muscle a human body could be made up of is 100%, but look at him. He’s clearly storing a whole bunch of extra muscles behind his other muscles. However, don’t think this jacked-up version of Zac Efron will be around forever. There is the possibility that one day you will see a shirtless picture of Zac Efron, and his body will be missing a matching set of bulgy biceps, a pair of plump titties, a washboard upper-crotch area, and whatever those weird muscles are on the side of your body that look like a litter of sleeping puppies.
While walking the red carpet for his latest movie, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, earlier today, Zac Efron confessed to UsWeekly that he’d be willing to say goodbye to his rock-hard body and get heavy for the right role.
“I would love to gain 30 pounds and play an aging rock star. That’d be an awesome transformation.”
Somewhere, Axl Rose heard the words “gain pounds” and “aging rock star” and whispered: “He better not be talking about me.”
I would love to see science figure out a way to make Zac Efron gain weight. I don’t think it’s possible. I’m pretty sure that any calories that go in are instantly burned up the second they attempt to make their way through the Spartan Race that is his abs.
Here are some picture of Zac Efron from the premiere of Mike and Dave with most of his body covered up by a suit. I see he’s still working that Mark McGrath-circa 1997 hair. Also included are some pictures of Adam DeVine riding Zac (not like that), as well as Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick.
That poor screen shot. I can only imagine the number of dicks that have been Photoshopped over that banana. So it turns out the video that was released with Justin Timberlake’s new song “Can’t Stop The Feeling” earlier this month wasn’t the official video. Nope, this one is. The one featuring Justin and a whole bunch of wacky characters dancing like no one is watching all around sunny Los Angeles. I hope Pharrell Williams has a good lawyer (“Um…” said Pharrell’s lawyer), because I think I’ve seen this video before. You know what, the Minions might want to call their lawyer too, because I’m pretty sure they own the right to bananas.
I do appreciate the cameo from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Sweet Dee at the 2:26 mark.
Since the song was recorded for DreamWorks’ Trolls, I would have assumed the video for “Can’t Stop The Feeling” would have featured a few more trolls than just the measly handful that show up on the television wall in the electronics store. How pitiful! Whatever happened to the days of shameless pandering? JT should have been dressed up in an oversized foam troll costume dance dance dance dancing with a bunch of half-naked models wearing plastic gemstone pasties and troll fur merkins. That’s the video I want to see.
Speaking of hustling, here’s Justin and his Trolls co-star Anna Kendrick at Cannes last week. I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t walk the red carpet in 3-foot tall neon funfur troll wigs. But I guess they realized it would have been pointless to try to compete with the reigning queen of the Cannes, Elena Lenina.