A big congratulations go out to Felicity Huffman today! Because she finally has some daughter-related news to talk about that doesn’t involve a single mention of bribes, arrests, prison, or the words “ruh roh.” Felicity is living that New Year, New You lifestyle.
It’s been four months since Felicity Huffman decided that the best way to keep from landing herself a long-running role in Cell Block C Playhouse’s production of Desperate Cellmates is to cop a plea and admit guilt, which is what she did in May. Felicity pleaded guilty to committing mail fraud and honest services fraud by paying $15,000 to have a proctor correct the answers on her daughter’s SAT test in hopes of getting into a “good” college. Sentencing time is coming up, and it was reported that prosecutors were going to recommend 4 to 10 months in prison, but I guess their asses are Sports Night fans, because they’ve recommended only a month. Lori Loughlin is probably changing her mind about regretting her decision to not take a plea deal, because I mean, a whole entire month under fluorescent lighting and without Frette sheets?! She’d literally die.
Because she apparently only has one good black blazer to her name, Felicity Huffman made the decision to avoid a trial and, as expected, pleaded guilty for her role in Operation Varsity Blues this morning in Boston. According to the Associated Press, Felicity arrived in court escorted by her brother Moore Huffman Jr., instead of her husband William H. Macy (who was not charged with any crime other than impersonating an old west sheriff), which is a shame because you can never have enough clowns at a 3-ring circus, which is exactly what this scandal has become.
If there’s ever going to be a riveting trial involving the college admissions ESCANDALO, you won’t see Felicity Huffman starring in it. You won’t ever see her dramatically pull off her wedding ring on the witness stand and throw it at William H. Macy as she tearfully whines about how she’s going down for this shit while he doesn’t ever have to worry about trying to make avocado toast out of mushy peas and cardboard in the clink. Felicity’s next role won’t be crying privileged parent in the college admissions courtroom drama, because she and 12 others will take a plea deal and plead guilty.
William H. Macy And Felicity Huffman Have Been “Arguing A Lot” Because Of The College Admissions Scandal
It wouldn’t be a shock to learn that the college admissions scandal is putting a strain on the lives and marriages of some of those indicted. Like Felicity Huffman who was indicted for paying to get her oldest daughter’s SAT scores raised, but William H. Macy was spared because the feds only had him on tape talking about getting his youngest daughter’s SAT scores getting raised. They never went through with the scheme with their second daughter. I guess the family that scams together, stays together! Damn Felicity, shoulda got your husband in on the grift, sis.
Previously on Desperate Rich Caucasians: actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin were indicted in the biggest controversy to hit rich folk since Goop’s vaginal eggs were exposed. Operation Varsity Blues (I see there’s a homosexual in the FBI operation-naming department) exposed all the rich people of America who bribed their way into universities… well, the ones who bribe-bribed their way into universities, the ones who “donated” libraries or gyms or high-tech buildings so their under-performing child could attend Yale are still cool. It’s become the celebrity-gossip gift that keeps on giving, as we are now hearing all about the dramatic arrest of Felicity Huffman.