Because she apparently only has one good black blazer to her name, Felicity Huffman made the decision to avoid a trial and, as expected, pleaded guilty for her role in Operation Varsity Blues this morning in Boston. According to the Associated Press, Felicity arrived in court escorted by her brother Moore Huffman Jr., instead of her husband William H. Macy (who was not charged with any crime other than impersonating an old west sheriff), which is a shame because you can never have enough clowns at a 3-ring circus, which is exactly what this scandal has become.
If there’s ever going to be a riveting trial involving the college admissions ESCANDALO, you won’t see Felicity Huffman starring in it. You won’t ever see her dramatically pull off her wedding ring on the witness stand and throw it at William H. Macy as she tearfully whines about how she’s going down for this shit while he doesn’t ever have to worry about trying to make avocado toast out of mushy peas and cardboard in the clink. Felicity’s next role won’t be crying privileged parent in the college admissions courtroom drama, because she and 12 others will take a plea deal and plead guilty.
William H. Macy And Felicity Huffman Have Been “Arguing A Lot” Because Of The College Admissions Scandal
It wouldn’t be a shock to learn that the college admissions scandal is putting a strain on the lives and marriages of some of those indicted. Like Felicity Huffman who was indicted for paying to get her oldest daughter’s SAT scores raised, but William H. Macy was spared because the feds only had him on tape talking about getting his youngest daughter’s SAT scores getting raised. They never went through with the scheme with their second daughter. I guess the family that scams together, stays together! Damn Felicity, shoulda got your husband in on the grift, sis.
Previously on Desperate Rich Caucasians: actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin were indicted in the biggest controversy to hit rich folk since Goop’s vaginal eggs were exposed. Operation Varsity Blues (I see there’s a homosexual in the FBI operation-naming department) exposed all the rich people of America who bribed their way into universities… well, the ones who bribe-bribed their way into universities, the ones who “donated” libraries or gyms or high-tech buildings so their under-performing child could attend Yale are still cool. It’s become the celebrity-gossip gift that keeps on giving, as we are now hearing all about the dramatic arrest of Felicity Huffman.
Getting into college sucks, and we all know nothing blows more than having to wake up at sunrise on a Saturday to go take the SAT at a random high school with a proctor who DGAF apart from you taking 5 extra seconds to bubble in an answer. Well, Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and other rich parents have been accused of bypassing that part of the equation and using their money to get their kids into college. Felicity, Lori, and Lori’s husband Mossimo were all charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Felicity was arrested, and Lori is in the process of turning herself in.
Many have been wondering why Felicity got arrested when her husband William H. Macy seems to have been aware of what was going on and was in on some of the conversations. Alas, it sounds like those two not wanting to go the cheating route with daughter number two may have saved his ass.
March, 12, 2019: The day that the definition of random was redefined with a story about a college admissions ESCANDALO involving Lynette Scavo (real name: Felicity Huffman) and Aunt Becky (real name: Lori Loughlin). This Desperate Housewives/Full House crossover where Lynette Scavo and Aunt Becky share a jail cell after getting taken away from their homes in handcuffs for allegedly paying bribes to get their children into college IS the weirdest reboot ever.
NBC News says that Felicity and Lori are among 40 who were indicted in a college entrance exam cheating scheme. They were both charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Cut to Aunt Becky’s TV husband Uncle Jesse letting out a “HAVE MERCY!” over having to bail her alleged cheating ass out.