William H. Macy And Felicity Huffman Have Been “Arguing A Lot” Because Of The College Admissions Scandal
It wouldn’t be a shock to learn that the college admissions scandal is putting a strain on the lives and marriages of some of those indicted. Like Felicity Huffman who was indicted for paying to get her oldest daughter’s SAT scores raised, but William H. Macy was spared because the feds only had him on tape talking about getting his youngest daughter’s SAT scores getting raised. They never went through with the scheme with their second daughter. I guess the family that scams together, stays together! Damn Felicity, shoulda got your husband in on the grift, sis.
Previously on Desperate Rich Caucasians: actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin were indicted in the biggest controversy to hit rich folk since Goop’s vaginal eggs were exposed. Operation Varsity Blues (I see there’s a homosexual in the FBI operation-naming department) exposed all the rich people of America who bribed their way into universities… well, the ones who bribe-bribed their way into universities, the ones who “donated” libraries or gyms or high-tech buildings so their under-performing child could attend Yale are still cool. It’s become the celebrity-gossip gift that keeps on giving, as we are now hearing all about the dramatic arrest of Felicity Huffman.
Getting into college sucks, and we all know nothing blows more than having to wake up at sunrise on a Saturday to go take the SAT at a random high school with a proctor who DGAF apart from you taking 5 extra seconds to bubble in an answer. Well, Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and other rich parents have been accused of bypassing that part of the equation and using their money to get their kids into college. Felicity, Lori, and Lori’s husband Mossimo were all charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Felicity was arrested, and Lori is in the process of turning herself in.
Many have been wondering why Felicity got arrested when her husband William H. Macy seems to have been aware of what was going on and was in on some of the conversations. Alas, it sounds like those two not wanting to go the cheating route with daughter number two may have saved his ass.
March, 12, 2019: The day that the definition of random was redefined with a story about a college admissions ESCANDALO involving Lynette Scavo (real name: Felicity Huffman) and Aunt Becky (real name: Lori Loughlin). This Desperate Housewives/Full House crossover where Lynette Scavo and Aunt Becky share a jail cell after getting taken away from their homes in handcuffs for allegedly paying bribes to get their children into college IS the weirdest reboot ever.
NBC News says that Felicity and Lori are among 40 who were indicted in a college entrance exam cheating scheme. They were both charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Cut to Aunt Becky’s TV husband Uncle Jesse letting out a “HAVE MERCY!” over having to bail her alleged cheating ass out.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.