The M&M’s company has been through it recently. First, the green one lost her high-heeled boots resulting in some angry (and horny) right-wingers demanding that the company make their candies sexy again. Then M&M’s introduced a new female purple peanut candy. This incensed the same group who accused the brand of making their candies “obese.” Feeling the ire of the outrage machine, M&M’s announced that they were retiring the spokescandies and melting them into one single chocolate bar as punishment for their crimes. Maya Rudolph would take their place to ease the pain of their loss. If you were distraught by the news and thought the only way you would ever see the sexy green one or the snarky red guy again was through YouTube videos or VHS tapes of commercials in your basement, then wipe those tears away. It’s a dumb Super Bowl stunt.
From The Department Of Possible Super Bowl Ad Stunts: Maya Rudolph Has Put The M&M Mascots Out Of A Job!
Last year, M&M’s announced a little change-up to their line-up of mascots, and it SHOOK THE WORLD (not really). They decided to retire Ms. Green M&M’s Nancy Sinatra-approved go-go boots for a knock-off pair of Common Project sneakers and also tone down her totally slutty eyelashes. In addition to that, they gave the brown M&M more sensible heels, made the orange one more anxious (it was 2022, we were all more anxious and still are), and added a new mascot, Ms. Purple. Since in 2022 there was nothing really newsworthy to report, Fox News’ Tucker Carlson dedicated an entire segment of his show to slamming the “woke” M&M mascots and whining about how he wouldn’t want to have a drink with any of the new “non-binary” M&Ms. Basically, it seemed he was mad that he no longer has the urge to jizz on an M&M, which probably made the guests in his green room immediately dump the bowl of M&M’s on the end table next to the sofa. To think, they thought those candies were just covered in a weird new coating that M&M’s was trying out. Well, M&M’s is making yet another mascot change and, this time, decided to play it safe by going with someone who Tucker Carlson will never ever get publicly horny for: a Black and Jewish woman! They announced today that the one and only Maya Rudolph will be the new face of M&M’s.
Maya Rudolph is one of the funniest people in the world and her time on Saturday Night Live with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will go down in history as some of the better seasons in SNL‘s history of roller coaster ratings. But did you know there was one instance when Maya didn’t feel so funny during an interview on The David Letterman Show? Maya admits to The Wall Street Journal Magazine that at the time, she wasn’t well seasoned in the ways of interviews, and as soon as Letterman mispronounced her name, she wanted to burst into tears and let out a scream higher than her mother Minnie Ripperton does on Lovin’ You. But instead, she kept her cool. And now she’s discussing the moment many, many years later.
Here Are The Trailers For Disney’s Live-Action “The Little Mermaid,” “Hocus Pocus 2,” And “Disenchanted”
Mickey Mouse probably lived it up last night by popping bottles and making it rain Disney dollars on twerking mice at Disneyland’s Club 33. Because the trailers for several movies that are going to make his greedy ass even richer were released. D23 Expo, the event where Disney drops trailers and info for their upcoming projects, is happening this weekend in Anaheim, CA. And yesterday, Disney released the teaser trailer for its live-action The Little Mermaid, and full trailers for Hocus Pocus 2 and the Enchanted sequel called Disenchanted. There was also an appearance by one of Disenchanted‘s stars, Patrick Dempsey, who served snow daddy realness.
Comedian Bill Burr hosted Saturday Night Live last night (with Jack White filling in as musical guest after that country nobody Morgan Wallen was dropped for acting a COVID fool), and his opening monologue gave some a case of the cringes and others a case of of the slow claps. Bill went in on cancel culture and anti-maskers and wondered why Pride Month gets June while Black History Month gets the short month of February. Bill also had things to say about white women, so he just replaced a mandatory mask sign as “Karen” enemy #1.
After finishing up last season with those acid-trip at-home episodes, Saturday Night Live was back in the studio for its 46th season and performed for an audience made up of a handful of first responders in masks who were probably thinking, “Err, should I be taking a risk for this!?” For the cold open, Alec Baldwin slapped another fire hazard on his head to squint and pout as Donald Trump, Maya Rudolph was back as Kamala Harris, and Jim Carrey debuted his Joe Biden. But because the current news cycle is like a deranged roadrunner on speed, they should’ve just opened with a view of the writers’ head spinning while trying to keep up with the news.