Spotted: Chace Crawford has made an impromptu appearance via the interwebs, reminding us that although it ain’t 2006 anymore, he’s still as tasty and delicious as he was during his Gossip Girl days. Of course, he’s been on the show The Boys for a few years, but none of that matters. He will always be Nate Archibald from Gossip Girl to all of us. And it’s nice to see him doing his very best at reminding us he has abs and furry tits by posting a brand new thirst trap for all of his Instagram followers.
Gerald–the territorial park turkey from Oakland–waddled so an even more evil wild turkey named Reggie and/or Gladys (depending on who’s begging for mercy) from Coon Rapids, Minnesota could…waddle faster! And ruin people’s day. Mostly that, actually. Because residents of a Coon Rapids mobile home park have been stalked and attacked by the pissed-off poultry that’s taken up residence there for the last two years and want the proper authorities to relocate it, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
Who’s got two thumbs, was the second man to step foot on the moon, recently celebrated his 93rd birthday by announcing his marriage to his “longtime love” on Twitter and wears more bling than Drake on the prowl after pay day? That’s right, it’s ….
When it comes to eating pizza with a hungry family, the larger, the better; otherwise, you end up getting two thin slices that are missing 75% of the cheese. But if a 14” isn’t big enough for your ravenous appetite, then I present to you Pizza Hut’s largest pizza, clocking in at 13,990 square feet. That’s enough to last like three dinners!
Pop quiz: Who loves eating Doritos all day, taking long naps, and luxuriating in baths? If you answered me, then you are right. But if you answered Spike, the chihuahua, you’re even more right! The now-famous Spike has reached the ripe age of 23, which makes him the newly crowned world’s oldest dog. Yes, it seems Doritos and baths are the key to a long life.
In case you’ve somehow overlooked the flashy diamonds, exotic cars, opulent estates, private jets, on-demand stylists, hairdressers, barbers, tattoo artists and high-powered attorneys, state-of-the-art shitters, army of yes men, coast guard of big booty hoes, oceans of champagne and legally binding Certificate of Authenticity signed by the entirely of the NBA under duress, Drake is very rich. So rich, in fact, that he’s privy to luxuries the rest of us never even knew existed, let alone included on the vision boards of our youth. But Drake’s had his eyes on the prizes since before he could walk (which didn’t happen until 2009, prior to that, he required the use of a wheelchair if he wanted any attention or money). Drake recently let his fans in on a little secret only known to the wealthiest and most elite individuals on the planet. Trump may have used his power and influence to grab pussies with impunity, but Drake’s made of softer stuff than that. Well, it actually depends on what he’s eaten and how many bottles he’s popped, but for Drake, taking a long slow shit in private while other people are waiting in line is proof positive that he is a man of extraordinary