Category: Open Post
Open Post: Hosted By The Baby Swan That Cracked Out Of Björk’s 2001 Oscar Egg
At the 2001 Oscars, Björk laid a swan egg on the red carpet. The baby swan in that egg is now grown up and looks like this. Feel old yet?
Open Post: Hosted By The “ALF” Reboot That Probably Isn’t Happening Anymore
Back in August we learned that the latest TV show from the ’80s that was about to get the reboot treatment was ALF. It made sense, since ALF ran for four seasons from 1987 to 1990 and spawned a cartoon, a late-night talk show, and Milhouse Van Houten’s favorite Pogs. But according to TV Line, the proposed ALF reboot is dead.
ALF was proposed to be rebooted by Warner Bros. Television with original writers Tom Patchett and Paul Fusco. It stands to assume we’d find out what happened to ALF after he skipped town for the colony of New Melmac at the end of the 4th season. That’s still up for interpretation, as TV Line reports that the reboot “is not moving forward at this time” after it failed “to attract a suitor.”
That’s fancy TV insider talk for not being able to land a network or a production company.
I can’t imagine it’s done for good. Just done for right now, maybe. And that’s a smart choice, because I just don’t think ALF could really work in 2018. ALF’s whole thing was being a high-maintenance menace while hiding out in The Valley from the U.S. Military’s Alien Task Force. A narcissistic alien with boundary issues like ALF would blow his cover the second he discovered the iPhone and how much attention he could get on Instagram by posting selfies with the family cat.
Pic: YouTube
Open Post: Hosted By Nicki Minaj Thirsting After Michael B. Jordan
You might say she’s a fan of Black Panther. Last night was the PR Paid For This People’s Choice Awards on E!, and the award winner for Female Artist of 2018 and Album of the Year may not have been well-received in Cardi B’s camp. Nicki Minaj won both, but rather than taunt her usual sparring partner (there’s plenty of time for that in Part 900 of Queen Radio!), she seemed to be telling the world she was horny as hell.
Open Post: Hosted By The Nearly 6-Foot Long CVS Receipt
This was BOUND to happen someday. As a patron of CVS, this receipt length thing has gotten ridiculous. Just ask Washington D.C.’s Emma Keane. Fox 5 DC (via The Takeout) reported on Emma leaving CVS one day with a LONG RECEIPT that measure in at 5’8″. That receipt is as tall as me! It’s like someone asked a 65-year-old pathological liar for the receipts for all of their lies!
Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Threw Herself A Birthday Party On The NYC Subway
If Beyonce ever releases Lemonade 2, the record should be a concept album about Amber Asalay’s impromptu birthday dinner on NYC’s J train on Wednesday night. This all happened because the restaurant reservations her friends had made for her birthday fell through. THIS is how you do it when life gives you lemons!
Open Post: Hosted By The High Priestess Of The Goth Roly Polies
If Amelia Earhart crashed her plane onto an island ruled by a cult who considers Missy Elliott their God and they took her falling from the sky as a sign and declared her as their Pontiff, this is what she would look like.