Category: Open Post
Open Post: Hosted By Kathy Hilton Reapplying Her Lipstick On Stage During Mariska Hargitay’s People’s Choice Awards Acceptance Speech
Anyone who’d been under the impression that Kathy Hilton’s awkward, dim, and out-of-touch rich lady antics were reserved for her quirky and dysfunctional The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills persona would be incorrect; because Kathy also just brought her awkward, dim, and out-of-touch rich lady antics to the 2022 People’s Choice Awards stage. Last night, Kathy and a few of her RHOBH castmates took the stage as presenters, but when it was time to take a few steps back for Mariska Hargitay to give her acceptance speech for “drama TV star of 2022,” Kathy either forgot where she was or gave no fucks about decorum as she applied lipstick while on stage–also while on camera.
Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Who Gets “Hyped” To Leave A Boarding Kennel Because He Might Get McDonald’s
If you’re an emotionally needy dog, you get your own support dog. If you’re a dog who feels compelled to do hood rat stuff, you take your grandma’s car for a joyride and crash that bitch into anything that gets in your way. But if you’re Bucky, you go viral on TikTok by craving the simpler things in life, like a single warm chicken nugget after a long day in boarding. “How adorably quaint!” cried Elton, the diva dog who demands immediate paw cleanings after going outside for an impressively distinguished shit.
Open Post: Hosted By The Mom Who Saved Her Daughter From A Raccoon Attack
I live in Toronto, where raccoons outnumber people 5 to 1* (a la New Zealanders and sheep), and so far, I haven’t had any negative experiences. Most of the raccoons are just cute lil’ garbage-eatin’ bumblers. But this isn’t always the case. See: the MacNamara family’s recent fight for their lives in Ashford, Connecticut. People reports that last Friday morning, 5-year-old Rylee was standing on her front porch when a raging raccoon randomly attacked her leg. Rylee screamed for help, and her mother, Logan Kelsey MacNamara, ran outside to save the day. Logan pulled the critter off Rylee’s leg, pushed her inside, and flung the vicious raccoon onto the lawn. After Logan got back inside her house, the raccoon picked himself off the grass and continued on his merry way. Another day, another terrorized family!
*a totally made-up statistic Continue reading
Open Post: Hosted By The “Reckless Driver” Dog Of Texas
We’ve all been involved in some sort of fender bender. Usually, the person at fault is a distracted driver who’s on the phone or is eating a McMuffin with one hand and holding jumbo 7-11 coffee in the other. However, a recent accident in the parking lot of a Walmart couldn’t be blamed on a distracted driver. The figure behind the wheel of this particular incident was a character who couldn’t even hold a cup, much less legally drive a car: a dog! Hard to sue for damages when the only compensation you’ll likely get is a bowl of Purina puppy chow.
Open Post: Hosted By Hellmann’s Asking You To Put Mayo In Your Eggnog
Hot on the hells (typo and it stays) of Lindsay Lohan and Pepsi trying to make Milk Pepsi happen (very fetch), Hellmann’s have come up with their own holiday abomination. If you thought your eggnog was missing that special something, grab some room-temperature mayonnaise and throw a glob of it into your nog! If this is what bringing out the best means to Hellmann’s, I might have to switch condiment providers.
Open Post: Hosted By Subway’s Limited-Edition Footlong Cookies
Everyone knows the sandwiches at Subway are absolutely subpar. They’re basically lettuce mountains with extra bread, a little bit of meat and a whisper of cheese. Yummy! However, their cookies are the best thing on the menu, which is ironic since they’re probably one of the unhealthiest things they have to offer(which is why they’re so delicious). And now Subway wants to fully capitalize on the fact their cookies are the real star by offering a whole footlong of sweetness with a new line of 12-inch cookies.