Category: Open Post
Open Post: Hosted By The Seven Persian Cats With A Six-Figure Inheritance
Attention fancy cat lovers of Florida! 7 Persian kitties are up for adoption at the Humane Society of Tampa Bay. I know what you’re thinking… you want one, but you’re hesitant because purebred pussy’s pricey. The vet bills, the grooming, and the costly breed-specific food. I get it; I owned a Persian. She was an XXPEN$IVE princess! But these cats are unique because they come with a built-in fortune. WFLA reports that their late owner, Nancy Sauer, left them a $300,000 inheritance when she passed away last November. That’s almost $43,000 per puss! Sigh. Yet another reason to be jealous of cats.
Open Post: Hosted By A Fan Giving Pink A Large Wheel Of Brie
Live shows have lately become a living diorama of society’s social deficits and the atrophy of human decency and decorum. A few months back, we had the orchestra orgasmer. Earlier this month, a fan injured Bebe Rexha by hurling his cell phone at her face during a performance, and another fan made his way up to the stage and slapped Ava Max. And this past weekend, a fan oblivious to anything but her own “Pick me! I wanna go viral!” desires tossed a bag of her powdered mom up on stage, much to the pretty well-handled bewilderment and disgust of Pink. It was such a baffling offering that it overshadowed another fan at the same show passing a strange gift to the stage that Pink received with much more enthusiasm: a huge wheel of brie cheese!
Open Post: Hosted By The New TikTok Trend Where People Drink A Grimace Shake From McDonald’s And Pretend To Pass Out
For the past 83 years, McDonald‘s has been providing late-night drunken meals and early-morning bubblegut sandwiches for people who love questionable food. They also tend to introduce questionable drinks as well, including their purple passion project milkshake named after Barney’s long-lost dopey cousin Grimace, one of their OG mascots from back in the day. In celebration of his 52nd birthday, The Grimace Shake is the latest offering in McDonald’s arsenal of sweet treats, and it’s catching on with their consumers. But not because it’s the best thing that’s ever come out of the franchise (which is the equally questionable mystery meat sandwich known as the McRib). Mainly because the youth have found a way to spend their money on the shake just to waste it in a challenge where it appears they’ve died after drinking it.
Open Post: Hosted By Lana Del Rey Showing Up Late To Her Glastonbury Set Because Her “Hair Takes So Long”
Lana Del Rey had to follow invigorating acts like Guns N’ Roses, Lizzo, and that wispy English baritone treasure, Rick Astley, at the Glastonbury Festival on June 24. And since Lana, the “Greatest Songwriter of the 21st Century” (hork!), makes music that’s essentially auditory Ambien, the fact that she was scheduled to begin her headlining set at 10:30 p.m. made total sense. But Lana showed up annoyingly late, apologized to the crowd for her hair taking longer than anticipated, and acknowledged that her set might get cut short. And she was correct; because her mic got cut off mid-song at her scheduled end time.
Open Post: Hosted By Scooter, The Winner Of The 2023 World’s Ugliest Dog Contest
The time has come again this year when certain dog owners proudly march to Petaluma, California, to loudly declare, “I have the world’s ugliest dog!” However, amongst a sea of dogs with weird hair patches and gnarly underbites, only one can be crowned ugliest. And this year’s winner is Scooter, a hairless Chinese Crested dog whose face only a dog mother could love!
Open Post: Hosted By The Dog Parade For A Man’s 100th Birthday
Despite all the cons of getting older, the birthday party is one of the best things about adding another year to your life. Forcing a group of Chili’s servers to sing a knock-off version of Happy Birthday to me while I blow out a candle on a crumbling molten lava cake? Perfection. But some birthdays are better than others. To make retired college dean and dog lover Dr. Robert Moore’s Big 100 extra special, his family devised a cunning plan: host a dog parade!