Category: Laura Linney

Celebrities Stunted From Home For The 72nd Emmys “Red Carpet”

September 21, 2020 / Posted by:

The Emmys happened last night despite nobody being allowed near each other due to coronavirus still spreading through humanity one TikTok party mansion at a time. A few celebrities (like Jennifer Aniston, Tracee Ellis Ross, Laverne Cox, etc…) showed up at the Staples Center to present, but most celebrities stayed home.¬†The ceremonial red carpet was switched up and the famous people just took their own pics and posted them themselves. Their choice of professional photography and they don’t have to make small talk with whatever half-peasant correspondent was put in front of them? Talk about a big win.

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Open Post: Hosted By Nicole Kidman In Taylor Swift Circa 2007 Cosplay

January 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Oh, Nicole, Nicole, please save your Taylor Swift role-play costumes for your bedroom times with Keith Urban. Our eyes don’t need it!

Hmmm, I don’t remember seeing a badly made Taylor Swift wax figure on the guest list,” said the organizers of the opening gala of the Palm Springs International Festival last night when Nicole Kidman walked the red carpet in one of Elle Fanning’s old dresses that her kids doodled on. That dress was made by Dior, but it looks more like something from David Bridal’s collection of wedding clothes inspired by Angelina Jolie’s doodled-on wedding dress. That whole look is giving me a Big situation. Because of that end-of-the-night prom hair and that dress from Justice, it looks like a little girl took over her body and made all of the design decisions for her. It’s a little Whatever Happened To Baby Jane goes to spring formal.

Thankfully, glamorous savior Suzanne Somers once again cleansed the red carpet of messy dreadfulness with her Ann Jillian razor cut, Wayland Flowers-approved rouge and L’eggs covered legs.

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If it went with her ensemble, I’d say that Suzanne Somers should get a Medal of Honor for saving events with her sparkly¬†glamour!

And here’s more pics from the Palm Springs International Film Festival including Natalie Portman wearing Darth Vader maternity chic and Pharrell Williams looking like the manager at a matador-themed gay club that only plays songs from the 80s.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Laura Linney Was Pregnant And Nobody Knew

January 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Well, Laura Linney and her husband obviously knew she was pregnant……unless it was one of those “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” situations and she pissed out the baby in the toilet.

Here’s Laura Linney dressed like a pilgrim schoolgirl back in June and this was one of the last times she was photographed at an event. Laura kept away from events after that because she had a fetus friend growing in her womb. Laura’s rep tells People that she birthed out her first kid on Wednesday. Laura and her husband of 4 years Marc Schauer looked at their newborn son and asked, “What is a name that just screams ‘pretentious rich white boy who wears ascots and wipes his ass with money?‘” Since Scott Disick was already taken they named him Bennett Armistead Schauer.

Laura Linney is 49 years old, so I can already hear the hos calling her a selfish old twat for giving birth to a baby whose high school graduation she’ll attend in a Hoveround. But who cares. She’s Laura Linney! She’s the highly-esteemed thespian who could win an Emmy just for saying her full name in the most pretentious way possible. She can do no wrong!

And I hope that when they pulled her baby out of her body, she held him and said, “I’m Laura Linney.”

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