Kim Kardashian, Ciara, Yumi Nu, And Elon Musk’s Mother All Got Their Own Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Covers
There are four, count ’em, FOUR cover models for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, and they are Kim Kardashian, Ciara, Yumi Nu, and Maye Musk. Yep, Elon Musk’s mom. The magazine says its 2022 swimsuit issue celebrates women “in an inclusive range of backgrounds and body types”, so I get why one of the models is 74-years-old, but… really? I can name loads of sexy 74-year-olds who didn’t bring Elon Musk into this world. Rhea Perlman, Ina Garten, and Sally Struthers would like a word!
Gwyneth Paltrow Says Moms Need To Stop Judging Each Other
Gwyneth Paltrow loves giving advice. It’s the paleo bread to her organic butter. The gluten-free macaroni to her vegan cheese. The jade vagina egg to her vagina. So this week Gwyneth went on Ciara’s YouTube interview series (?), Coach Conversations, and dropped this pearl of wisdom: Don’t judge other moms. Ummm, aren’t snooty, judgmental mothers Goop’s target demographic? Bitch, don’t bite the perfectly manicured hand that shills out $75 for your pussy candles!
The Red Carpet Looks At The American Music Awards Were Messy But Fun
It’s not that the Grammys are for your parents, the Grammys are your parents. Old, strict, self-serious, adore Adele, and are prone to making arbitrary decisions like letting JLo perform a Motown medley. Just ask Halsey who basically yelled at them “you’re not the boss of me” during her acceptance speech last night at the American Music Awards. The AMAs are your cool, twice-divorced aunt who taught you how to french inhale and has a lover in Madrid who she visits every Spring. As such, she’s a lot more fun. But unlike your parents who actually clothe, house, and feed your ungrateful ass, her gifts are frivolous and tacky. But fun! That dynamic was reflected in the red carpet looks from last night’s AMAs. Risks were taken. Choices were made. For example, OG fun aunt Christina Aguilera showed up looking like a goddamn snack. A saltine cracker, specifically. Which is a shame because believe me, most of the people there were already very, very thirsty.
Ciara’s Ex Bow Wow Is Bringing Up Their Relationship Again And He Sounds Crazy
Now that Ciara is basking in the infinite paychecks from her husband Russell Wilson’s deep well of NFL cash, she probably does a snooty chuckle whenever she thinks about all of her loser exes. And speaking of exes, one person we all forget about is Lollipop Guild lyricist Bow Wow and the time he and Ciara got together in the early-aughts until he cheated on her. He’s since claimed that he’s sowwy for the infidelity, but I’m sure Ciara could care less since she’s moved on. Well apparently Bow hasn’t. And at a recent performance in Atlanta he let everyone know that he staked his claim on that mountain years ago.
“Summer Camp” Was The Unspoken Theme Of The BET Awards Red Carpet
You can always count on any BET red carpet to provide some high fashion “moments”, and last night’s BET Awards was no exception. The MET Gala would have been smart to reference “BET red carpet” when trying to get clueless celebrities to grasp the concept of camp. RuPaul’s zebra suit would have looked right at home given the profusion of sequins, pastels, neon, and sculptural pieces that walked the BET carpet. For example, take aspiring rapper/entrepreneur/wig maker to the stars Cliff Vmir (above). His title alone is plenty camp, but throw in a chartreuse vinyl jumpsuit and top it off with a day-glo Victorian fringed lampshade, you’ve got a weenie roast with s’mores for dessert.
Ciara Hit The “Red Table Talk” To Say Words About Her Ex Future
Jada Pinkett Smith is continuing her trend of getting people to spill their secrets to her while sitting around her mystical red table. People reports that this time she ensorcelled Ciara who sat down with Jada, daughter Willow Smith, and mother Adrienne Banfield Norris to talk about her life. Ciara decided to talk about her ex, rapper Future, while gossiping with the Smith girls–specifically how terrible the relationship with him was and how she “unexpectedly” became a single mother. Drag him, Ciara!