Category: Allison Williams

Backdoor Farrah Looked Like An Embarrassing And Desperate Mess At The MTV Movie & TV Awards

May 8, 2017 / Posted by:

But in Backdoor Farrah’s defense, she’d look like an embarrassing and desperate mess even if she didn’t show up to the MTV Movie & TV Awards in a costume found in the section marked “For Trashy Attention Whores Who Want Quick Attention” at the Haus of Cultural Appropriation.

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Madonna Never Really Disappoints At The Met Gala

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!

Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.

Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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Lena Dunham Thanks Glamour For Keeping Her Cellulite On The Cover

January 4, 2017 / Posted by:

girlsglamour

Lena Dunham has said 9.6 billion times that she’s proud of her body and doesn’t care what people think of it. What she does care about is when someone tries to mess with a picture of her body in post-production. Lena has slapped at magazines in the past when she thinks they’ve pulled a cut-and-paste fast one on her body. This time she’s clapping long and loud for Glamour magazine for choosing to not Photoshop out her cellulite.

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Presenting Natalie Portman’s Maternity Cape Glamour

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.

Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.

It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.

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If The Definition Of A Question Mark Was A Dress, It’d Look Like This

June 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Cate Blanchett was at the Tony Awards in NYC last night, because she’s making her Broadway debut later this year in a show that isn’t Hamilton. (I know, why are other shows even bothering?) Judging by that butchered-up look on Cate Blanchett’s body, I’m guessing that she was also there, because she knew that most thi-turr people play it safe by wearing the most boring dress at Lord & Taylor, so she needed to give the public something that’ll hurt their eyeballs and make their retinas curl. Thank you, Cate!

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