First of all, a big thanks to whoever at Esquire encouraged Justin Theroux to bring in his very sweet dog Kuma into their cover shoot. And with the current state of the world, I’m sure we all would have been ok if Esquire’s recent profile on Justin Theroux was nothing but shirtless shots of him and facts about Kuma. But instead, they talked about Justin’s current life, including the end of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston, which happened more than three years ago, by the way. There have been lots of theories about why they split up, including, but not limited to, the totally real possibility that Jennifer was still madly in love with her real soulmate Brad Pitt, or the more believable cross-country drama of Jen being an LA person while Justin is a New York type. Well, it’s not the second one, according to Justin.
Coronavirus begat Gal Gadot asking the Tone Deaf Avengers to Imagine a world where irony does not exist. Not to be outshone, for the occasion of the Black Lives Matter movement, we will be subjected to a barrage of actors emoting about racism while serving black and white Stanislavsky turtleneck Inside The Actors Studio earnestness. In a video for a new initiative called I Take Responsibility, “a cadre of stars staring directly into cameras as they pledge to take responsibility for how they’ve perpetuated racism or allowed it to go on in their presence.” (via The Hollywood Reporter). But don’t get too excited, nobody gets too specific. But we do get to hear Justin Theroux take responsibility for “every not so funny joke,” something you’ll never hear from me! #ITakeNoResponsibilityWhatsoever
Us Weekly says that Jennifer Aniston had her annual Fakesgiving event at her house with all her fabulous rich and famous friends. Well, among those friends was her ex Justin Theroux. Yes, Jennifer is showing that she is grown enough to invite her ex to her Fakesgiving party. And we know this because Justin took a selfie with his ex and all her friends. And if Justin didn’t take a selfie with his ex and all her friends, we wouldn’t even know that Jennifer invited him. And if we didn’t know that, what’s even the point of her inviting him?!
The Greek economy is still recovering from their 2007/8 government debt crisis but that’s nothing compared to the stinging blow the country just received in the form of a devastating clap back from Gigi Hadid. Last week, after Gigi’s Mykonos vacation villa was burgled, she posted a snap on Instagram claiming she was robbed (she wasn’t, she was burgled) that she’ll never return (“efcharistó”: The people of Greece), and recommended that people spend their money elsewhere. Naturally, many took issue with Gigi’s proclamation. But many be damned!
The most tired thing you can do as a wealthy middle-aged hipster, besides being a wealthy middle-aged hipster, is to follow your dreams by opening a vanity dive bar, paid for by a major New York restaurant group. Taking the crown, the cake, and the trophy as the most tired of wealthy middle-aged hipsters is Justin Theroux. Justin’s new “dive” bar is called Ray’s, it’s located in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and a shot and a PBR will cost you $12 (down from $19 when it first opened 2 weeks ago, according to a recent Yelp review). But what Ray’s lacks in authentic dive bar ambiance, it more than makes up for it in jaw (and probably name) dropping pretension, according to The New York Post.
When Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux called it quits on their maybe-not-actually-legal marriage last year, they probably assumed the only time they’d see each other would be on TV. Like catching Jen in an Aveeno commercial, or Justin on QVC selling shock-absorbing jogging pants. But it looks like they recently came together, and sadly it was to say goodbye to their beloved dog, Dolly.