Category: James Marsden

“Imagine” If All These Celebrities Sang In The Same Key

March 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Corona isn’t the only thing going viral these days. With everybody on lockdown and bored out of their minds, we are grasping at straws for anything even mildly entertaining to distract us from this supremely shitty situation. Some desperate souls have even resorted to watching Cats! Which is why you may have seen the video that’s going around where Gal Gadot and a bafflingly random group of celebrities join together as one to sing John Lennon’s Imagine. You see, coronavirus got Gal to thinking: What if we are all really the same? And to her credit, when it comes right down to it, celebrities really are just like us. They’re also bored, scared, barely any of them can sing, and the ones who can sing, are always doing too much.

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The “Sonic The Hedgehog” Movie Did Not Flop At The Box Office

February 17, 2020 / Posted by:

In a surprising turn of events, Sonic the Hedgehog did extremely well at the box office over the weekend. The movie stars Jim Carrey as Dr. Ivo Robotnik (am I the only one who didn’t know Dr. Robotnik’s first name???), James Marsden as Tom Wachowski, and the voice of Sonic, Ben Schwartz. And the reviews aren’t as awful as people thought they would be (it has a 64% on RT). Not to mention that Olive Garden’s business probably grew 1000% over the weekend from James Marsden’s character being such an OG whore.

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Who Ordered The “Sonic The Hedgehog” Movie Trailer?

April 30, 2019 / Posted by:

Riddle me this: What’s blue and white, has weird people teeth, and should have stayed in the 90’s? WRONG! It’s not Will Smith’s Genie. It’s Sonic The Hedgehog! Although I am sure that not a single, solitary person alive on planet earth asked for it, we’re getting a feature length, live-action movie about a SEGA video game character whose primary character trait is that he’s a fast runner.

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Kate Hudson Went With Both Visible Underboob And Visible Underwear At The SAG Awards

January 30, 2017 / Posted by:

Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.

Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.

Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.

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Presenting Natalie Portman’s Maternity Cape Glamour

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.

Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.

It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.

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And The Best Dressed Of The Critics’ Choice Awards Goes To…

January 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Even The Mighty O is intrigued by this black-swan-casket-skirt-biker-shorts disaster.

The best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under shredded jean shorts with a Body Glove tank top and British Knights. The second best way to wear black Spandex biker shorts is to wear them under a dress that looks like an ornate gothic nightie that was scrunched up in the corner of an attic and was used as a bed by a bunch of crows. Adele Exarchopoulos knows what I’m talking about. Adele Exarchopoulos won Best Young Actor at the Critics’ Choice Awards in Santa Monica for her performance in Coochie Is The Warmest Color and she made every Academy voter fist themselves without lube for not nominating her for Best Actress. If she wore this to a third tier awards show, imagine what she would’ve worn to the OSCAHS! When dressing for the Critics’ Choice Awards, hos usually stroll to their dirty laundry basket, pick up whatever’s at the top and put it on. They do their makeup in the car. They don’t give three shits while dressing for that crap. So if Adele wore this, I’m guessing she would’ve worn a Hypercolor catsuit and Airwalk Jim heels to the Oscars.

Adele looks like she was cycling in a race when she crashed into a walking funeral procession for a fallen drag queen before landing into a bunch of black pigeons taking a nap together. It is the look. You can never go wrong with sequins and biker shorts.

Here’s more pictures from that shit last night including Jeremy Renner pinching his nipples for the photographers and Abigail Breslin looking like a 50-year-old brothel madam.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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