Sofia Vergara just won her latest legal battle against her ex-fiancé Nick Loeb, and Page Six is saying this could be the legal battle that prevents any more courtroom showdowns over the two frozen embryos Nick has been trying relentlessly to bring to term for six years. This fight’s best before date appears to be up.
Nick Loeb has established himself as the kind whose relevancy should forever be limited to sub-basement level Tomatometer scores, and yet, it’s not, because Nick Loeb is still messing with Sofia Vergara and trying to get the embryos they made when they were together. But the good news for Sofia is that those embryos continue to be protected for now, because Nick has once again felt the reproductive justice wrath of a Louisiana appeals court.
“Alms, alms for the poor” is what you might hear when passing a forlorn, hunched over Scarlett Johansson on the street (look closely, she may be disguised as a tree) because since being named last year’s (and the year before) highest-paid female actor by Forbes Magazine, she’s fallen on hard times and did not even crack the top 10 in this year’s rankings. This year, because the coronavirus has forced studios to postpone releasing anything in the theaters, therefore cutting off back end bonuses, the top 10 is filled with TV stars with Modern Family‘s Sofia Vergara securing the #1 slot with a $43 million bag, almost half of what the highest-paid male actor, The Rock, earned. Silly woman, I guess she should have worked a little harder!
This is our fault. We did this to ourselves. At some point we’re going to have to take responsibility for ourselves as a country and accept the premise that it is, in fact, a shit hole ruled by oligarchs, grifters, charlatans, and DJs with Marshmello heads, and hopefully, commit to making the changes necessary to rectify that. Otherwise, all is lost. Even if Forbes’ Celebrity 100: The World’s Highest Paid Celebrities list is a dubious distinction, we have to admit that even if their formula is about as scientifically sound as the teachings of Dianetics, it does say a lot about what we value as a culture. And right now it’s saying we value Kylie Jenner the most. She earned $560 million. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but 2020 will do strange things to a person—Taylor Swift was ROBBED! Last year’s #1 dropped to #25 ($63.5M) and Kanye West scooted into Kylie’s former #2 slot with $170M.
The main focus of the recent-ish backlash against Ellen DeGeneres has been all about how she’s nice on camera for the Ellen show, and a demon backstage to employees, helping to foster a toxic work environment of pain and trauma. Amid that conversation have been people on social media, who have pointed out that Ellen isn’t always nice when the cameras are rolling, either. Several Twitter users have tweeted clips of Ellen being mean to her guests, like joking over and over again about Sofia Vergara’s accent during her appearances on the show. Sofia has spoken up about Ellen, and Sofia would like everyone to know that she believes Ellen’s jokes were just that – jokes.
Shoeless Joe Jackson might have done something noteworthy in the sporting world (citation needed), but his feats/feets pale in comparison to the blinding expanse on the jaw of Beardless Joe Manganiello. According to People, Joe has shaved off his signature scruff at a time when most men are cultivating the same. Joe and his wife Sofia Vergara separately posted pictures of Joe’s new babyface taken at a backyard family pool party on Instagram. People says he looks “like a completely different person,” but I think we’re going to need to see him without his swim trunks on, just to be sure.