Jesus Christ, here we go again! Every few weeks, Emily Ratajkowski is linked to a new man, and my typing fingers are tired of coming up with clever ways to report on her romantic hijinks. Today, we create a go-to intro template for all future EmRata romances because enough is enough! Earlier this month, Emily and [comedian] [Eric André] were papped on a date at a [Japanese restaurant] in [New York]. [Page Six] now reports that the pair were spotted [kissing] on [vacation] in [the Cayman Islands]. Emily wore a [revealing bikini] and [two-toned bucket hat]. Since splitting from her cheater husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, last July, EmRata has been connected to [Brad Pitt], [Pete Davidson], [DJ Orazio Rispo], and [artist Jack Greer]. Is [Eric Andre] just another fling, or is [Ratadré] here to stay? Only time will tell!
Now that we know the dance segments during Ellen DeGeneres‘ talk show were probably her attempt to bob and weave an invisible Satan finally coming to collect her rotted soul, her old interviews have become hard to watch. And since the internet loves to remind us of how things used to be, there are many examples of Ellen’s now infamous cruelty on display during a time when we thought she was just being funny and quirky. Now in hindsight, we realize Ellen’s kind of an asshole. And 2022’s reigning dinner date queen Emily Ratajkowski recently came across two ancient interviews with Ellen and Zane Lowe featuring the Baroness of Beautiful Gowns, Taylor Swift. And EmRata chose not to be kind in her response to Ellen’s behavior with Taylor.
Cancel Valentine’s Day! True love doesn’t exist. Dreams don’t come true, so put away the “good” throw pillows, Amy Davidson! It’s time to pour one out for bona fide romance (“teehee, you said ‘bona,’” giggled Pete) because Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski have already ended before we had a chance to find out if they ever actually began.
If “Living my best life” was a person, it would be the new celebrity queen of the NYC dating scene, Emily Ratajkowski. Recently, EmRata has been enjoying time with Pete Davidson, who probably writes about how much he likes her in his diary after a long day of doing whatever he does. After splitting up from her allegedly cheating trollop of a husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, Emily has been casually dating around and has been linked to Brad Pitt, DJ Orazio Rispo, and of course, Pete Davidson, who’s apparently hard up for her and got the sads over paps pics of her with DJ Orazio. Well, it might be a sad Christmas for Pete, because Emily was papped kissing artist Jack Greer and she let everyone know that she’s joined a dating app. I guess this means that Pete better get on it and stage more pap pics with other ladies.
Since Pete Davidson’s last fling of five minutes, Emily Ratajkowski, was recently seen canoodling with DJ Orazio Rispo, it was time for him to cheer up by finding his new “dream girl,” which it seems could be any girl with a hole, heartbeat, and SAG card. Enter an actress most haven’t heard of–Chase Sui Wonders–from a movie the two worked on together that most haven’t seen–Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. And while sources say that they’re “just great friends,” we know in Pete-speak that translates to “I’m in love! I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!” Or at least “we’re definitely fucking.”
The eternal flame of love that is Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski‘s minute rice relationship may be ending sooner than we all thought. Or, later than we all thought, if you believe in love the way I do. Because apparently, EmRata is dating others. This is shocking news, I know, but we better not let Pete’s mom Amy find out because she will definitely pull up to EmRata’s house ready to whoop that ass. Meanwhile, now that he knows he’s not the only one, Pete is dealing with a case of the sads, even though it’s now being reported that they were never exclusive in the first place.