Category: Rooney Mara

Here Are Some Of The Looks From The Dueling Carpets From Last Night’s Oscar Celebrations

March 13, 2023 / Posted by:

Two carpets, both alike in dignity

(In fair Hollywood, where we lay our scene),

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where civil shoes make civil rugs unclean.

It’s crazy how those words by William Shakespeare are still as true today as they were in 1996 when we finally understood them thanks to Baz Luhrmann‘s Romeo + Juliet. And this morning, as the sun rose over the detritus of last night’s Oscars celebrations, one carpet emerged victorious and unblemished by the unsightly stains of blood and mud and whatever it was that Fine Ass Jonathan Majors had in his tiny silver sipping cup. For reasons we may only understand after Baz makes a movie about it, after weeks of torrential rain, the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences decided this was the year to break with a 64-year tradition and pull the Red Carpet out from under our feet in exchange for a Champagne Industrial Rug. For revenge, Florence Pugh could barely be bothered to dress for the big event so she just brushed her ponytail to the front and grabbed a beige duvet cover out of the dirty laundry for the Oscars, saving her pink comforter for the Blue Carpet at the Vanity Fair after party.

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Rooney Mara Will Star As Audrey Hepburn In An Upcoming Biopic Directed By Luca Guadagnino

January 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Because not every movie can be Spider-Man, Hollywood has gone back to one of their more reliable wells. It’s time to dig through the catalog of stars past, and see who is next up in the running to be the subject of a buzzy prestige biopic. And that person is beloved Oscar-winning actress and UNICEF humanitarian Audrey Hepburn! And according to Deadline, this biopic’s Audrey will be played by Rooney Mara.

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Joaquin Phoenix And Rooney Mara’s Baby Is Here

September 28, 2020 / Posted by:

Because Joaquin Phoenix and Rooney Mara seem to be a mix of eco-vegan and weird, it would have made sense for them to announce they were having a baby with some kind of sustainable kombucha SCOBY-blooming ceremony that represents the creation of their fetus. They did not. Instead, they kept it relatively normal by simply existing while people whispered about seeing Rooney in baggy clothing, and generally letting everyone come to their own conclusion about what that meant. Once again, Joaquin and Rooney have let someone else do the talking about their baby, which has allegedly already been born. And they kept it normal and meaningful with the name, by paying tribute to Joaquin’s late brother, River Phoenix.

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A Darren Aronofsky-Directed “Batman” Movie Almost Happened––With Joaquin Phoenix As Batman

April 18, 2020 / Posted by:

More news from the movie franchise that just refuses to die. For anybody interested, the never-ending subject of “who should be the next Batman” now features another missed contender to add to its complicated history––only this one is the most random AND the least likely to ever come to light.

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Glamour, Thy Name Is Oscars

February 10, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.

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