It’s been a minute since we checked in on Lena Dunham, previously the most reliable source of lack of self-awareness eye-rolls, and current aspiring cottage-dwelling eccentric lady. The last time Lena popped up in the news, she claimed that she had been diagnosed with COVID-19. One of the symptoms of the coronavirus that we keep hearing about over and over is the loss of appetite and lack of sense of taste. Well, Lena’s level of taste has always been questionable, so no one can gauge that with any kind of accuracy. But it’s pretty clear Lena has regained her appetite. Because she was recently smacking her lips over Joe Biden’s son Hunter Biden on Twitter.
Because I guess she wanted the internet to be filled with “Of course she did!” comments, Lena Dunham has resurfaced not long after fleeing to Wales and filling 100 Lisa Frank diaries with poems directed at the ex who broke her heart, to talk about her experience with catching and slowly, slowly, recovering from COVID-19.
Lena Dunham was trending again the other day, but not because she said something stupid for the 890,999th time, or got rid of another dog, or wrote something else that made us want to pour ammonia onto our eyes. Lena trended after an example of her white privilege was brought out again, and what says “white privilege” more than Lena? Lena has suggested race is a “chronic blind spot” for her since she grew up as an uber-privileged white person. But it seems now Lena is ready to… continue learning about race? Because apparently Lena has only learned one thing between then and now: shut up and listen. Oh, Lena! Apply that same attitude to everything else in your life and we’re making moves!
As you well know, ain’t shit going on these days besides Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas wilding around town like a couple of 12-year olds whose mom is late picking them up from the mall. With nary a red carpet at which to gawk, we’re having to resort to tales of yesteryear to keep us entertained. Yesteryear, Lena Dunham had us gagged at the red carpet premiere for Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And I mean gagged literally because not only was she wearing a distressed feathered Fraggle pelt, she also made a scene by trying to suck the ever-loving life force out of her co-star Brad Pitt, seemingly against his will. Well, Lena has a perfectly good explanation for that, and she told it to Andy Cohen on a recent episode of Watch What Happens Live. She was licking pizza juice off his face. Sadly, that’s the only inference I can make from Lena’s roundabout non-explanation.
Ruth Wilson, one of the four leads of Showtime’s The Affair, left the show after four seasons (the show ended with five seasons), and at the time, she told Gayle King on CBS This Morning that she wasn’t allowed to talk about her exit. Ruth may never be able to talk about it due to a non-disclosure agreement. Many speculated that Ruth was actually fired, because she had spoken out earlier about getting paid less than co-star Dominic West. Showtime then released a statement saying that Ruth’s character had simply run its course. Now we’ve got some anonymous sources who claim that Ruth leaving the show may have had a lot do with the toxic environment on set. And I don’t mean there was a best boy or a key grip that was constantly playing “Toxic” by Britney Spears (because I think we can all agree that would be a great work environment).
If you happen to be puttering around the Welsh countryside and suddenly encounter a cane-wielding Lena Dunham sporting a fairly new septum piercing and surrounded by several domesticated animals and wonder if you’ve ingested hallucinogens without knowing it, don’t. In an appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show, Lena reveals that she lives there now. The Girls creator says that she moved to Wales to recover from a broken heart. And to garner some new attention from Welsh people. Look, there’s only so many times you can get your fellow U.S. citizens to roll their eyes at the ridiculous things that come out of your mouth before you need a whole new country to annoy.