Lupita Nyong’o Did Effie Trinket On Acid, Janelle Monae Had A Blinking Boob, And Zendaya Was Cinderella At The Met Gala
Some Met Gala outfits relied on pure glamour while others relied on equal parts ‘The Fuck?’ and ‘OMG!’ Three attendees this year, Janelle Monae, Lupita Nyong’o and Zendaya put their spin on the theme “camp” brought more drama than twenty-four hours of watching Bravo without a bathroom break.
Fan Bingbing is back back. The formerly-most famous Chinese actress is finally returning after all of her financial and legal issues. Fan got in trouble for a legitimate amount of tax evasion in China and ended up spending some time at a “resort” of sorts–if you consider Guantanamo Bay a resort. Well now that she’s out of the clink, she needs a new gig to help get money back in her no-longer-fraudulent bank account, and she’s got a pal in Jessica Chastain who is graciously allowing this felon to still be in her all-female action movie, 355.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
There’s nothing a basic #woke white huss loves more than to say how Jordan Peele’s Get Out transformed cinema with its message of race relations and proving what I’ve thought for years: Allison Williams is one shifty bitch. Jordan has hinted he was working on a movie for a while now, and he finally dropped the trailer (co-starring the return of I Got 5 On It) for that movie – called Us – on Christmas. Thanks, Santa? In short, its message is to prove we’re our own worst enemy. Well, no shit, Sherlock.
There were some real upside down and sideways looks on display at the The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in NYC last night. Most notably Whoopi Goldberg giving us Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep and was forced to go to the big city and take out a bank loan for more, wearing her best Big Business suit. The added bonus of that suit is that those giant bell bottoms probably ring so damn loud, the sheep should have no problem finding their way back home.
Other notable looks included: Cate Blanchett‘s tuxedo/ baked potato/ butcher’s apron combo, and the night’s host Issa Rae’s belt that read “Every Nigga Is A Star”. All of those looks and more are in the gallery but for now, we’ve got plenty of high fashion to keep us in “what is going on here”s for a week.
Jordan Peele’s creating a monster! Well, a juggernaut at least, that will probably smash box office records. Jordan’s not fucking around with his much anticipated follow up to Get Out. Jordan released some art work and a title for his next movie and, according to Variety, he’s in talks with two Black Panther faves, Lupita Nyong’o and thick legend Winston Duke to star. And if she can get out of her cult obligations, Elisabeth Moss as well.