Category: Dakota Johnson

Dakota Johnson Says Her Grandmother Tippi Hedren Still Has 13 Or 14 Big Cats

May 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Big cats in America. So hot right now, thanks to Tiger King. But Joe Exotic and creepy cult leader Doc Antle (seriously, can someone at least attempt to deprogram his fake-titted wives?!) were far from the first people to surround themselves with exotic puss. Legendary actress Tippi Hedren, mother of Melanie Griffith, and grandmother to Dakota Johnson, was doing it fifty years ago.

At one time, Tippi, now 90 years old, rescued and owned around sixty lions and tigers. Obviously this is far more interesting than my own grandmother’s collection of chicken knick-knacks, so, while remotely interviewing Dakota, Graham Norton took the opportunity to ask if Tippi still owned any big cats. Dakota confirmed that, yes, her grandmother still has around 13 or 14. Continue reading

Twitter Came Together To Share Horror Stories About Ellen DeGeneres––For Charity

March 22, 2020 / Posted by:

And now for a little heartwarming example of how shared hatred can unite total strangers while raising some much-needed coin for the less fortunate. Comedian and former Gilmore Girls producer, Kevin T. Porter, started an initiative on Friday that thousands of others have been getting behind. He shared a tweet with his followers, stating that he would be donating money to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank––with a catch. Everybody who had a story about Ellen DeGeneres being a big old meanie should tweet him––and for every story he received, he’d match it with $2. Who says a global disaster can’t bring people together?

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Gwyneth Paltrow Explains Why She Doesn’t Really Want To Act Anymore

January 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Thanks to more than a decade’s worth of enthusiasm for questionable health claims and dubious wellness treatments, it’s sometimes easy to forget that Gwyneth Paltrow hasn’t always been a youth-and-vagina obsessed high-end snake oil pseudo-scammer. And as it turns out, there’s a whole generation of babies born that will never know Gwyneth as an actress. According to Gwyneth, she’s totally done with acting.

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Dakota Johnson Called Out Ellen DeGeneres For Skipping Her Birthday Party

December 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Kathy Griffin is probably pulling out a chair in preparation for the chance that Dakota Johnson might soon wander into the weekly self-help group meeting for famous people who pissed off Ellen. Because Dakota squared off on Ellen with Ellen DeGeneres during an interview to promote Dakota’s new movie, The Peanut Butter Falcon. And things got very, very awkward.

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Everyone Was Three Sheets To The Wind On The Red Carpet for The Governors Awards

October 28, 2019 / Posted by:

The Governors Awards are a classy affair, you can just tell by the name. According to The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the GA are “an annual event celebrating awards conferred by the Academy’s Board of Governors – the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and the Honorary Award.” Basically, they are really the precum of the actual Oscars. Which might explain why so many ladies came dressed in nothing but a satin sheet. Nothing shows off precum quite like a satin bed sheet!

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Dakota Johnson Chummed It Up With Gwyneth Paltrow At Her 30th Birthday Party

October 8, 2019 / Posted by:

I just hate it when wealth, fame, and nepotism are wasted on the bland and boring. Dakota Johnson recently celebrated her 30th birthday with a big party in Malibu over the weekend. If my mom and dad were fucking icons, and I was dating a rock/popstar, even if it was Chris Martin, I’d sure as hell be having a legendary party and the highlight wouldn’t be a birthday cake in the shape of my dog with a couple of sparklers sticking out of it. The highlight would be a mound of coke in the shape of my dog, from which my actual dog jumps out holding sparklers. What Malibu baker is going to say no to Don Johnson’s daughter?! But that’s not how Dakota rolls. According to People, Dakota’s party involved a lot of hugging and chatting with her boyfriend’s ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow. And somebody invited Sean Penn. Yuck!

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