Well, it finally happened. After a nearly year-long gestation (her estimate), and a music video that gave me at least three nights worth of pregnant clown nightmares, Katy Perry has finally given birth to her first child with fiancé, Orlando Bloom. Or rather, it might be more fitting to say that her baby finally blossomed, for reasons which will be very apparent to you in just a minute. Because Katy and Orlando went kitschy with the name.
In a cover story for People, Ellen DeGeneres superfan Katy Perry says she has gone through it. The very pregnant Katy was forced to delay both her destination wedding to Orlando Bloom and the release of her new album, Smile (which has been rescheduled for August 28) thanks to that darn pandemic. And before that, Katy says she suffered through the “darkest years of her life” after 2017’s Witness didn’t sell as many copies as her previous record-breaking albums.
And In Totally True News, Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Want Jennifer Aniston To Be Their Child’s Godmother
The Mirror (which means this entire story is 100% true) says that Katy Perry and Jennifer Aniston are like BFFs and have been spending a lot of time together during the coronavirus quarantine (or as Jen calls it, an “oddly beautiful” time) by going on socially distant walks and shit. Well, Katy is about to give birth to her first child, the child she made with Orlando Bloom, and sources say that Jen has already been asked to be their kid’s godmother. Please don’t tell me that Asian Brit, Katy Perry, is going to ask Prince Charles to be the godfather next.
Katy Perry is currently pregnant with her first kid, a little girl, and according to a source who recently spoke to Us Weekly, she’s been going through some “ups and downs.” And they’re not talking about the contents of her stomach (besides, there’s no trimester that could make Katy any more nauseous than she got after reading the reviews of Witness). Us Weekly says that things have been a little touchy between Katy and the reason she’s pregnant, Orlando Bloom.
During simpler times in early March, Katy Perry dramatically announced in a music video that she and Orlando Bloom are expecting a baby. Katy and Orly recently let us know that she’s having a girl on Instagram and that announcement is 100% less dramatic but 100% more gross. Personally, I miss the days of seeing Orlando’s banana boat roaming free atop the high seas. Now we get updates on their soon-to-be newborn via pictures of daddy wearing too much clothing.
Just when you thought that Orlando Bloom, modest Hammaconda owner and shitty tattoo connoisseur, couldn’t be any more of a gentleman, he’s breaking it down even further by letting you know how totally in love he is with fiancée and future mother of his second child, Katy Perry––and how in love he HAS been since the day they first met.