Category: Serena Williams

Serena Willams Says She’s “Not Retired”

October 25, 2022 / Posted by:

If you look in the dictionary, the word “retired” is defined as “having left one’s job and ceased to work.” Clearly, that definition does not compute with forever high school jock Tom Brady, as his un-retired season costs him much more than he bargained for. Now we might be adding Serena Williams to that list, who teased us with her own retirement in September, but may be reconsidering her word jumble of gibberish after making the comment that she is “not retired” from tennis.

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Serena Williams Played What Will Probably Be The Final Match Of Her Career

September 3, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s been a little while coming, but Serena Williams has now entered her retirement era. I mean “evolved away from tennis.” After dominating the sport of tennis for 27 years (!!), Serena played her likely final match on Friday. She lost to Ajla Tomljanovic in a tight match that included a tiebreaking third set. Might as well give the people a show before bowing out of the sport forever (unless she decides to Tom Brady it).

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Open Post: Hosted By Dionne Warwick Being Mistaken For Gladys Knight

September 1, 2022 / Posted by:

History was made last night as Serena Williams won her 108th(!) U.S. Open title when two hussies misidentified Dionne Warwick for Gladys Knight and survived. Naturally, there were a shit ton of celebrities in the stadium to see what could be Serena’s last U.S. Open and both Dionne and Gladys were there. But ESPN broadcasters Mary Carillo and Chanda Rubin both seemingly agreed that the elegant matron with the iconic short blond hair and cheekbones that could cut a bitch from across a room was Gladys, who plays, instead of Dionne, who absolutely does not. And I’m not talking about tennis, I’m talking about with fools.

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Meghan Markle Finally Released The First Episode Of Her Spotify Podcast “Archetype” Featuring Guest Serena Williams

August 23, 2022 / Posted by:

It only took two years, several awkward family reunions, a funeral, a new baby, a canceled Netflix show, a Platinum Jubilee and an appearance on the cover of Time Magazine as one of the world’s most influential people, but Meghan Markle has finally released a scant hour of content for her long-ballyhooed Archwell Audio podcast for Spotify called Archetypes. While the true scope of her influence may still be an intangible, incalculable variable, if Meghan manages to convince even just one listener to eat horse paste, she’ll have beat Joe Rogan at his own game.

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Serena Williams Announced That She Is “Evolving Away From Tennis”

August 9, 2022 / Posted by:

Serena Williams may be the GOAT when it comes to tennis but says she’s the WOAT (Worst of All Time) at saying goodbye. Today, Serena #TookToVogue (legends only) to announce that she doesn’t like the word “retirement,” but is “evolving away from tennis” in order to focus on expanding her family and venture capital firm Serena Ventures. Serena says she’s planning on playing in the U.S. Open later this month, but after that, it’s time to say g… goo… goodb…, girl can barely get it out which is why she says “I’m terrible at goodbyes, the world’s worst.” I would argue that Tom Brady is the WOAT but I don’t think any tennis fans would be mad to see Serena take a run at his record of flopping out of retirement. Then again, Serena has a family that needs and adores her.

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Jane Campion Is Getting Called Out For Her Comment About Serena And Venus Williams At The Critics Choice Awards (UPDATE)

March 14, 2022 / Posted by:

Jane Campion is really oscillating between “Yaaaassss queen!” and “Girl, stop,” pretty quickly. The director of Oscar-favorite, Power of the Dog, made headlines for checking Sam Elliott over his shitty criticisms of the movie. But those claps for her turned into cringes during the speech she gave at last night’s Critics Choice Awards after winning Best Director. Jane chose to point out Serena and Venus Williams, who were in the audience, and say to them that they are “marvels” but that they don’t “play against the guys, like I have to.” Surprisingly, it didn’t go over well.

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