Gabrielle Union‘s unchanged vampire face has been a huge part of the culture since her days as a thirty-year-old teenager in the classic film Bring It On. And during that time, another thing she loved shaking her pompoms for was extramarital affairs. Of course, it’s something she no longer engages in after her current husband Dwyane Wade matched her energy by saying “Two can play that game my love” and their union has become stronger (and sexier) over the years as a result. But Gabrielle admits her first marriage, to ex-NFL player Chris Howard, had no redeeming qualities other than knowing she could cheat whenever she wanted to since she was the one making all of the money.
Kevin Hart, Sylvester Stallone, And Kim Kardashian Are Among California Residents Cited As Water Violators
California is enduring an unbearable heatwave, and water has become a scarce resource. Well, unless you’re rich and don’t really care about the environment. We already know there are certain folks who take their private jets for quick, unnecessary flights, and they’re being labeled as “climate criminals.” However, there are a few more celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Kevin Hart, Sylvester Stallone, and others who have recently been cited as some of the worse water wasters in all of La La Land.
The 2021 Billboard Music Awards were last night and since things are “getting back to normal” (whatever that means), it was a maskless affair. But honestly, I wish Machine Gun Kelly was forced to wear a mask because then we wouldn’t see his black-stained tongue, which made him look like he tossed the salad of The Tar Monster from Scooby-Doo.
For a company that prides itself on “Imagineering,” whatever the fuck that means, Disney sure seems to lack good old-fashioned imagination. According to Deadline, Disney+ is working on a “reimagining” of Cheaper by the Dozen, that old Steve Martin movie, which was already a remake of the 1950 film of the same name, which was an adaptation of a 1948 book of the same name. There’s a reason “reimagining” isn’t a real word, just saying. And they are really straining the bounds of credulity by casting Zach Braff and Gabrielle Union as the mom and pop of a “multiracial, blended family.” Look, I’ll buy a 1’ tall genocidal 50-year-old infant that can move shit with its mind, but Zach Braff pulling Gabrielle Union and putting a gang of babies up in her? Sirs/ma’ams, you have lost your minds.
Sometimes if you’re really good, the horny heavens open up and blesses you with a gift so wonderful you have to raise your hand up to the sky and shout “Thank Ya Jesus!” And that’s exactly what I did when I heard NBA legend Dwyane Wade posted a nude photo of himself on his Instagram page. But of course, since this is someone I actually wouldn’t mind seeing naked there’s a catch 22. And the gag is he’s not alone in the photo, which sounds hot at first until you find out it’s not with another NBA player. But instead with his age-defying, Benjamin Button ass wife Gabrielle Union.
Ah, the Monday after Halloween. Every year it’s the same. The fun’s been had and all we have left are the memories of slutty vampires (like Demi Lovato, seen above) and, as is the case this year, even sluttier Tiger Kings, to break up the monotony of a long, dark fall. This year especially, there is literally nothing going on between now and Thanksgiving to distract us. NOT ONE THING! So let’s relive the excitement of the weekend before the mundanity of tomorrow saps us of every chilling thrill and thrilling chill the season has to offer. Because, like I said, it’s gonna be nothing but luke-warm Pumpkin Spice lattes for excitement for the foreseeable future. So here’s a roundup of what some of the notable Halloween costumes of 2020. Let’s look over there, shall we?