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Afternoon Crumbs

November 27, 2020 / Posted by:

After managing to dodge Future’s prolific jizz, Lori Harvey (yes, that Lori Harvey who got with Diddy AND Diddy’s son) may be getting on the current People’s Sexiest Man Alive, Michael B. Jordan, because the two were spotted landing in Atlanta together, the day before Thanksgiving. Lori’s dad is Steve Harvey so I don’t know if it was a smart move to bring Michael B. Jordan home. Because Lori’s coochie will shrivel up and fall off as soon as delusional and narcissistic Steve Harvey looks at Michael B. Jordan stache and says, “We could be twins!” – Lainey Gossip

51-year-old Matthew Perry is now engaged to his 29-year-old literary manager girlfriend of two years, Molly Hurwitz. Never mind that Matthew’s future wife was only 3 years old when Friends started, the bigger story here is that Matthew “Makes Millions In Friends Residuals A Year” Perry is doing Cameo. If a Cameo from Matthew Perry wasn’t $999, I’d ask him to do one for me and the note would be: Matthew, blink thrice if you owe money to the mob or something!   – Pajiba

In other Friends news, Courteney Cox once again risked getting salmonella in the nose holes for your entertainment – SOW

If Eric Clapton did an anti-lockdown song with Van Morrison to remind everyone of the racist streams of cold shit that have spewed out of his mouth, it worked! – Uproxx

The extremely hot Prince and Princess of Sweden got COVID-19 – Celebitchy

Oh, it’s just two humanoid pink poodles on acid – OMG Blog

Pics: Wenn.com

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 27, 2020 / Posted by:

The Fanny Pack-Wearing The Rock “Balloon“!

Macy’s went on with its annual Thanksgiving Day parade yesterday, but because they didn’t want coronavirus having itself a huge orgy by fucking the lungs of many, there weren’t any crowds gathering in the streets of NYC. They kept the crowds away by using pre-recorded performances and mostly replacing its usual real-life gigantic balloons for “augmented reality” ones, which looked they were done up by a community college special effects drop-out using clip art from the 90s. But I can’t totally hate on those AR balloons because one was of a young The Rock giving us the triple panty creaming power of a fanny pack, a turtleneck, and a chain.

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Birthday Sluts

November 27, 2020 / Posted by:
Bill Nye (65)
Aubrey Peeples (27)
blackbear (30)
Alison Pill (35)
Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi (39)
Jaleel White (44)
Shaunie O’Neal (46)
Sharlto Copley (47)
Samantha Harris (47)
Twista (47)
Brooke Langton (50)
Myles Kennedy (51)
Elizabeth Marvel (51)

Pic: Wenn.com

Michael Vartan (52)
Robin Givens (56)
Fisher Stevens (57)
Victoria Gotti (58)
Samantha Bond (59)
Caroline Kennedy (63)
Callie Khouri (63)
William Fichtner (64)
Curtis Armstrong (67)
Kathryn Bigelow (68)
Jil Sander (78)
James Avery (1945-2013)
Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970)
Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
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Happy Thanksgiving From Earth Angel Dolly Parton!

November 26, 2020 / Posted by:

The pandemic-era Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade happened today, and honestly, they should’ve just brought out the iconic duo Spider-Man tossing Uncle Sam’s salad and called it a day since 2020 can eat all of our unwashed asses. But the socially-distanced show went on and featured non-kicking Rockettes, lip-synching woes, a performance from the Midwestern Rent known as Jagged Little Pill, and a trio of legends: THEE Dolly Parton, THEE Darlene Love, and THEE Patti LaBelle!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 26, 2020 / Posted by:

The Legendary Swanson Turkey Dinner!

For weeks and weeks, we’ve been told that this is going to be a Thanksgiving like no other, and not in a good way, because some people are stupidly going to do shit like normal and are risk inhaling the unwanted dinner guest of coronavirus as they shove gravy-slathered turkey into their pie hole, and some of us are scaling it down, and others are just pulling down the red curtain on the holidays for the rest of the year. That is why it’s the perfect time for the Swanson Turkey to make a comeback! Because nothing says a 2020 Thanksgiving like a metal tin of turkey-flavored rubber!

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Birthday Sluts

November 26, 2020 / Posted by:
Tina Turner (81)
Luka Sabbat (23)
Rita Ora (30)
Rob Raco (31)
Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (32)
Kat DeLuna (33)
Trevor Morgan (34)
Lil’ Fizz (35)
Natasha Bedingfield (39)
DJ Khaled (45)
Tammy Lynn Michaels (46)
Peter Facinelli (47)
Kristin Bauer van Straten (47)

Pic: Virgin/Instagram

Garcelle Beauvais (54)
Scott Adsit (55)
Adriana De Moura (55)
Ivory (59)
Ilona Staller (69)
John McVie (75)
Jean Terrell (76)
Rich Little (82)
Bruce Paltrow (1943-2002)
Marian Mercer (1935-2011)
Robert Goulet (1933-2007)
Charles Schulz (1922-2000)
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