Birthday Sluts

Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 80 – Happy Holly Dunday!

Since Allison and I live out a Fifth Harmony song (Work From Home) every day, we talk about Marie Kondo’s tips for working from home and also give our own tips, which yes, involve starting an office fight between the desk lamp and a ficus tree. We also get into Florence Pugh’s anti-troll sermon about people hating on her relationship with Zach Braff.

And we quickly say words about Prince Harry possibly retiring from hunting, Demi Lovato no longer being friends with Selena Gomez, Martha Stewart’s drunk Instagram comment, Kate Beckinsale’s newest fetus-faced boy toy, and the vet who eats oranges like an apple. And this episode and its title is dedicated to my texting poet of a mom.

You can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts (and if you can’t, let us know). If you’ve got a question or want us to cover something, e-mail us at: [email protected]!

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Afternoon Crumbs

Vanity Fair has put out the first look at Denis Villeneuve’s Dune remake starring Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Oscar Isaac, Rebecca Ferguson, Jason Momoa, Javier Bardem, Charlotte Rampling, Dave Bautista, and Stellan Skarsgard. Many of the pictures look like a W Magazine shoot of Rick Owens’ new collection inspired by Lawrence of Arabia. And there’s also Oscar Isaac who is looking at us like, “Bitch, I hear you asking if you’re looking at pics from the new Dune movie or a fucking Star Wars movie. I wondered the same thing, honestly.” – Lainey Gossip

Since nobody can go to the gym anymore, people have to get their cardio in by getting OUTRAGED and they did just that over one of David Foster’s daughters (not the one who was on the new 90210) bragging about getting married before coronavirus shut down the world – Celebitchy

Paris Jackson plays Jesus in a movie starring Bella Thorne. Honestly, that’s all that needs to be said about that – Pajiba

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

Dirce Ferreira, the Brazilian memaw who truly showed the young tricks of TikTok how it is really done!

There’s a challenge on TikTok called “Flip The Switch,” and it involves two people (or sometimes an animal friend) standing in front of a mirror. One person holds a phone in front of them, recording it all, while another person usually busts out moves behind them as the “flip the switch” part from Drake’s 2018 song Nonstop plays. And then when Drake lets out a “flip the switch,” one person flips the switch and they change places. It feels like it’s been happening on TikTok for centuries, and to quote my doctor after he does a prostate check on me, “It’s worn out!” But leave it to a 72-year-old bomb of pure sex to flip the switch on the Flip The Switch challenge by reviving that shit with her raw hotness that could melt the Werther’s Original in a pepaw’s pocket.

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Birthday Sluts

Night Crumbs

Twitter scalped Prince William of the last three hairs clinging to his head for saying that, “Britain is at its best, weirdly, when we’re in crisis,” while talking about this pandemic. Everyone’s emotions are raw and everyone’s ready to pounce on a bitch, but it’s not like he said, “Britain is at its best, weirdly, when we’re in crisis… not that something my greedy shit head brother would know since he abandoned us and ran off to Hollywood to be a STAH with that woman.” That last part was probably saved in the drafts folder in William’s brain for later use – Pajiba

This coronavirus disaster may bring One Direction back together. Oh yes, I’m sure this pandemic may bring them back together and not all the money they’d make for a reunion – Lainey Gossip 

Sorry, but not even a cute little girl is going to get Jennifer Lopez to open up her own purse – Celebitchy

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