Category: Natalie Portman

Apple TV+ Series “Lady In The Lake” Starring Natalie Portman Halts Production After Threats From Locals In Baltimore

August 29, 2022 / Posted by:

The upcoming Apple TV+ series Lady In The Lake has recently experienced a bit of unpleasantness during their filming that will now be known throughout the industry as The Baltimore Welcome. Currently, the production has been stationed in Baltimore for the past few months, which is probably tense enough since it’s been hot as hell up North all summer. But unfortunately, the real heat happened when a bunch of local extortionists descended upon the set asking for money. So although Apple thought they would be producing a show about an unsolved murder set in the 1960s what they ended up getting was a reboot of The Wire but in real-time.

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“Imagine” If All These Celebrities Sang In The Same Key

March 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Corona isn’t the only thing going viral these days. With everybody on lockdown and bored out of their minds, we are grasping at straws for anything even mildly entertaining to distract us from this supremely shitty situation. Some desperate souls have even resorted to watching Cats! Which is why you may have seen the video that’s going around where Gal Gadot and a bafflingly random group of celebrities join together as one to sing John Lennon’s Imagine. You see, coronavirus got Gal to thinking: What if we are all really the same? And to her credit, when it comes right down to it, celebrities really are just like us. They’re also bored, scared, barely any of them can sing, and the ones who can sing, are always doing too much.

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Christian Bale Will Play A Villain In The Next “Thor” Movie

March 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Another day, another Marvel superhero movie to report about. But unlike the others, this future cinematic staple has actually done a marvelous bit of casting. Turns out, Oscar-winning thespian Christian Bale had originally shown interest in joining the Marvel universe in order to land the role he was born to play: a supervillain. And one of his soon-to-be co-stars, Tessa Thompson, has confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that his messy ass is now attached.

After the raging success of Thor: Ragnarok, where Chris Hemsworth stands around looking all hunky and scruffy and shit, the plan was set to develop another totally necessary sequel. Enter Christian.

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Natalie Portman: Caped Crusader

February 10, 2020 / Posted by:

While some at last night’s Oscar’s used their mouth words to make a political statement, Natalie Portman opted to use her cape words instead. The Huffington Post claims that Natalie “dragged” the academy by wearing a custom Dior cape with the names of several female directors who made movies in 2019 but were not nominated for an Oscar this year, embroidered onto the lapel. I’m not sure dragged is the right word, it was more of a polite finger wag. Natalie made a similar statement using her mouth when she announced “and here are the all-male nominees” back in 2018 while presenting Best Director at the Golden Globes. While some applauded Natalie’s Calligraphy Heard Around The World, others are calling her a hypocrite because her own production company, Handsomecharlie Films, has only ever hired one woman to direct any of the 11 films on their slate. But you won’t find that woman’s name on Natalie’s cape, because that woman is herself. (via Insider)

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Glamour, Thy Name Is Oscars

February 10, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.

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