After Being Photographed Having Lunch Together, People Now Think Anna Wintour And Bradley Cooper Are Doing It (HA!)
I mean, really guys? Can’t two extremely wealthy and very famous people sit down to talk about all things 1-percenter without getting wrapped up into some kind of torrid love affair? I mean sheesh! Let the rich and famous people be! JK I don’t care at all, and honestly I love seeing ice queen, Anna Wintour, get wrapped into a love affair rumor. It’s so chic!
After Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk broke up, people were just counting the days until he and Lady Gaga turned A Star Is Born into reality and signed a relationship contract finally. Well joke is on us, because Bradley has not chosen to get onto the Gaga and instead having dinner with Anna Wintour. I mean, they’re totally not seeing each other, but it’s going to be so fun pretending they are for the next few minutes.
It must really be true love too, because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Anna Wintour look so positively thrilled. The last time she smiled that hard, she was probably firing the intern who refilled her desk cup with 23 unsharpened pencils instead of the requested 22.
In the most simplest terms, the annual Met Gala, which takes place tonight, is a prom for famous people, and the theme for its 71st iteration revolves around the word “camp.” And not the kind of camp with s’mores and bear attacks. The “camp” they’re looking for is over-the-top and theatrical which should come naturally to most celebrities since they spend the majority of their lives being over-the-top and theatrical. In a surprising twist, though, some celebrities are freaking out with trying to get the theme 100% correct as to avoid the judgmental gaze of Medusa’s sister Anna Wintour, who probably can’t wait to turn those that fail her challenge into stone with her timeless Resting Bitch Face of Death.
If you think Madonna is going to great lengths to suck the youth out of unsuspecting souls, Anna Wintour is having a peak “Hold my beer” moment. Sure, there are plenty of stodgy editors who have jumped ship at Conde Nast, but Anna just keeps gaining power. Her latest strategy is a video series For Vogue where she answers questions from peasants, er, readers. The latest chapter had someone asking Anna what she thought about the Kardashians and their style. Surprisingly, Anna didn’t show how she felt by opening the window to her office and jumping out of it.
No offense to Us Weekly. Their covers are better.
There’s been many rumors about how Conde Nast is looking to push out the Dark High Priestess of Fashion Anna Wintour, but they have always denied that shit. But I wouldn’t label you as a dirty lie-teller if you told me that the rumors are true, and Anna Wintour knows her days of terrorizing Vogue are coming to an end, which is why she’s burning that bitch to the ground by turning it into a third-tier tabloid. See: Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin Bieber on March’s cover looking liked a bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife humping on her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover. Honestly, it would be more interesting and edgy if Anna gave the cover of Vogue to an actual bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife and her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover.
I wonder how many people on set had to resist the urge to pluck those pills off of Hailey’s dress, because they needed something to make them forget these two are going to be on the cover of Vogue?
The Crawford-Gerber Malibu mansion is filled with the wails from Miss Kaia Gerber today, because Anna Wintour has gone and delayed her chances of running the likes of Gigi Hadid off the cover of Vogue for two more years. There’s a push in the fashion community to shy away from using 12-year-olds on stilts in fashion shoots because there are a lot of creeps loitering around set, and it’s strange to expect someone who just finished watching Dora to wear this season’s Balenciaga. Being beautiful will no longer get you out of homeroom and smelly high school gym classes. You’re going to have to wait to graduate before you’re paid to get passive aggressive comments from NYC fashion editors! Continue reading