What in the seven Hells are people talking about with Jason Momoa? In some absurd group-hallucination, a bunch of people online have decided to start claiming this sexy King Of Atlantis has a “dad bod”. Ex-what the-scuse me? How? Can someone who claims to be sane and with full-vision say Jason Momoa is out of shape? Body shaming has taken on new extremes, my people.
Marrying the same person twice in the span of two months in France is the hot new celebrity trend. Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner did it yesterday and so did boho Lily Allen anti-fan Zoe Kravitz and her actor husband Karl Glusman. Their wedding was infinitely cooler because they got married at her dad Lenny Kravitz’s place in Paris and Zoe’s mom Lisa Bonet attended. And, as we all know, Lisa Bonet is the ultimate cool mom and probably had Zoe’s first bong bronzed so that wedding was probably lit.
Put Brienne of Tarth on the Iron Throne and let’s be done with it. She’s clearly the baddest bitch in all of the 7 kingdoms. At last night’s final season premiere of Game Of Thrones in NYC, Gwendoline Christie brought both the fire and the ice to the red carpet. Instead of relying on Oathkeeper as she does on the show, Gwen relied on what her momma gave her to slay the competition. Brienne of Tarth must have had Cersei Lannister so shook she didn’t even bother to show. However, Gwen’s shine didn’t seem to intimidate Kit Harington one bit.
Before Kunty Karl went off to the afterworld where, hopefully for him, there’s no sign of fats, tats, or shorties, he personally created a velvet pink 70s prom look for Panty Creamer Hall of Famer Jason Momoa to wear to the Oscars. But while I’m all for some 70s prom glamour, the real star of Jason’s ensemble was the must-have accessory of every 90s high school girl named Becca. Just in case Jason wanted to put his wild mane up into a man bun to keep his hair from whipping hos in the face as he drops it low on the dance floor, he wore a scrunchie on his wrist. A fucking FENDI scrunchie, thankyouverymuch. Although, it looks more like a discount scrunchie from a Claire’s circa 1995 with a Fendi logo lazily sewed on it (and now everybody’s cousin is going to take a discount scrunchie from Claire’s and lazily sew a Fendi logo onto it).
Jason Momoa will never let a pair of sharpened blades come close to his flowing chestnut tresses. Jason talked with the Daily Telegraph (via Daily Mail) and revealed that if he takes a pair of scissors to his long, luscious man hair, his wife Lisa Bonet will take a pair of scissors to their marriage.
Zoë Kravitz is in the unenviable position of being the only person in the world who can never have a spot for Lenny Kravitz, Jason Momoa or Lisa Bonet in her spank bank. Having fantasized about all three of them myself, I am really sympathetic to Zoë’s plight. While the disadvantages of that sad, dry reality are obvious, there are a few advantages. One of those is having won the gene lottery and getting the chance to pose nude in homage to your mother on the cover of Rolling Stone. So instead of making things awkward at Thanksgiving by sitting a little too close to her step-father, Zoë took the road less traveled, and took off her clothes.