Category: Noah Cyrus

Is This (The New) Normal? Notable Looks From The Grammy Awards Red Carpet

March 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Last night, Doja Cat stood in front of the iconic Grammy red carpet backdrop wearing a vomit-colored feather duster for a skirt and her titties hanging out of a motorcycle jacket unzipped to below her navel. The earth is healing. Yes, high fashion fuckery was once again afoot after a year of no-risk, half-assed, low stakes virtual awards ceremonies. This year’s Grammy Awards may have been an essentially meaningless ode to a troublesome industry, but short of receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, seeing a cum-stiffened sheet ghost rearing up to engulf Noah Cyrus from behind, was the only light at the end of the tunnel I needed to see.

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Noah Cyrus Apologized For Using A Racist Insult While Defending Harry Styles 

December 4, 2020 / Posted by:

Noah Cyrus decided that she would do something most of us can get behind and defended Harry Styles from Candace Owens who thinks that real men don’t wear dresses. Candace should call the Pope, then. But the thing is, Miley Cyrus’ little sister went left in her delivery and chose to use a racial jab against Candace, forcing the internet to temporarily side with *gagging noises* Candace Owens.

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The 2020 CMT Music Awards Brought Out The Cowboys And Glitter

October 22, 2020 / Posted by:

The 2020 CMT Music Awards were held last night and while it was mostly socially-distanced with stars appearing via video from all over the world, that doesn’t mean we don’t get to critique their fashion choices. There was a distanced carpet, and there were performances, including Noah Cyrus keeping the definition of elegance alive by looking like a Fredrick’s of Hollywood Kacey Musgraves.

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Demi Lovato Is Next On The List Of Women Machine Gun Kelly Might Be Spraying With Love Bullets

February 6, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m beginning to get the sneaking suspicion that Machine Gun Kelly might not be marriage material. This year alone, MGK sparked rumors when he was seen leaving a Golden Globes after-party with his BFF’s ex, Kate Beckinsale, and just a few weeks after that he ignited speculation when he was seen arriving at a Grammys after-party with Noah Cyrus. This week finds him fanning the flames of intrigue after being seen leaving a nightclub with Demi Lovato. Somebody needs to get this guy some sturdy flame retardant underwear if he’s going to keep going at this rate.

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Noah Cyrus And Machine Gun Kelly Might Be A Thing Now

January 27, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m sure Grammy after parties are always rife with regrettable hookups and early morning trips to CVS for mouthwash, penicillin and Plan B. But sometimes whatever goes on after-hours on the Sunset Strip marks the beginning of a romance for the ages. And who’s to say it can’t be both! Us Weekly reports that Machine Gun Kelly and Noah Cyrus have sparked romance rumors after being each other’s date to a Grammys after-party. MGK was most recently linked to his friend Pete Davidson’s ex Kate Beckinsale, and Noah will forever be known as the sucker who let Lil Xan get away. Though Kate denied a relationship with MGK, through every fault of her own, she’s inadvertently thrown herself into the same dating pool as Lil Xan. A pool which needs to be drained, filled with cement, and to never have a housing development built on top of it lest we find ourselves in a Poltergeist situation where all the ghosts have shitty tattoos and a smoker’s cough.

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