Colin Jost, one of the hosts, along with Michael Che, of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live, is thinking about leaving the show after the 2020 election. Because honestly, being Scarlett Johansson’s date to awards shows is a full-time job. There’s word that Megyn Kelly wants to make a TV COMEBACK, so maybe she should kiss and make up with NBC and take Colin’s spot since what comes out of her mouth is 100% laughable.
I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.
Just because all of the BAFTA acting nominations went to white people, that doesn’t mean the white people that were nominated are afraid of a little color (not sure we can’t say the same for the BAFTA president Prince William). While some stars like Margot Robbie, who looked like she just came from a beloved aunt’s funeral (with Olivia Colman looking like said beloved aunt), went for basic black, and some like Renée Zellweger and Scarlett Johansson opted for a pastel palette, a few ladies took the opportunity to brighten up the foggy London town night by putting the “u” in colour. Take for example Florence Pugh whose hot pink housecoat doubles as a parachute in case the feds come knocking at the brothel door and she has to make a quick exit out of a 4th story window and hop into the horse drawn carriage waiting below.
Rick Moranis starred opposite Ellen Greene in the 1986 movie adaptation of the 1982 Off-Broadway musical Little Shop Of Horrors which was based on the 1960 non-musical movie. Rick played Seymour Krelborn, a bespectacled schlub who falls in love with a woman named Audrey and learns some hard life lessons from a man-eating plant from outer space (Audrey II) . It’s a perfect movie which means it’s time to remake it only worse. So suddenly, Seymour is up for grabs again. It was once rumored that Josh Gad and Rebel Wilson were going to star in a remake, and then there was the rumor that Lady Gaga was going to play Audrey. And now according to Full Circle Cinema, Taron Egerton is in talks to star as Seymour. Which, fine, after Rocketman we know he can hold a tune and pull off glasses. What is more distressing is that Scarlet Johansson is in talks to play Audrey. Frankly, I’m not sure she has the (vocal) range. And, since she wants to be free to play flora so badly, I would like to see her audition for the role of Audry II instead.
I don’t know which Project Runway reject fucked up the Overstock.com bedsheet challenge this badly either. And to think, we were so worried about Lizzo getting her juice all over the folding chairs at The Staples Center, we forgot to worry about potential coochie-contact with the upholstered seats at the Shrine Auditorium. However, Sarah Hyland’s short and confusing floral 4th of July bunting skirt was an outlier. For the most part, the outfits on display at last night’s Screen Actors’ Guild Awards were a lot more conservative, ranging from the tiered ruffles and billowy chiffon of a modest religious sect, to tailored suits. On ladies! Hollywood is confusing.
Love it or hate, it’s Scarlett Johansson’s world and we’re just living in it. Like literally, everything from the trees in the forest to all the hysterical wives in Brooklyn, it’s all Scarlett, all the time. Scarlett earned three Screen Actors Guild nominations today, and we have to assume her dear friend Woody Allen was one of the first calls she made when she heard the news. According to Variety, Scarlett got two noms for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role for Jojo Rabbit and Marriage Story, as well as a nomination in the Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture category for Jojo Rabbit. Add that to her Golden Globe nomination announced earlier this week, they’re probably just going to go ahead and call movies “Scarletts” from now on.