Category: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Festival Goers Are Grossed Out By Having To Give A Saliva Sample To Attend Cannes

July 7, 2021 / Posted by:

We can now add spittle to the list of things the Cannes Film Festival attendees deem to be more repugnant than Roman Polanski. According to Variety, festival attendees arriving from outside of the EU are being required to visit The Drool Tent, or La Tente de Bave, if you will, to provide a saliva sample to be tested for COVID-19 before attending any events inside the Palais. Festival-goers have described the process as “really gross” but then turn around and watch Tilda Swinton in a movie about a woman suffering from “exploding head syndrome,” (via IndieWire) or worse, a movie starring Simon Rex! Yes, old Dirt Nasty himself has a movie at Cannes this year and Roman Polanski does not. The earth is healing.

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Jake Gyllenhaal’s Girlfriend Came To His Broadway Premiere

August 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Jake Gyllenhaal celebrated the opening night of his Broadway play Sea Wall/A Life. According to The New York Times, Sea Wall/A Life is actually a double bill of two separate monologues with Jake tackling the latter, jerking tears and jolting funny bones recounting the birth of a daughter and the death of a father. He probably jerked a few tears from his fans in another way too, by inviting his girlfriend to his opening. Page Six says that “things are heating up” between 38-year-old Jake and 23-year-old French model Jeanne Cadieu. If you’re disappointed in Jake for making basic ass dating choices remember, a French 23 is more like an American 39, so he’s actually dating an older woman!

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Maggie Gyllenhaal Doesn’t Like It When She’s Asked About James Franco’s Continued Employment On “The Deuce”

June 25, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s unfair that Maggie Gyllenhaal the actress keeps getting asked about the multiple sexual misconduct allegations against James Franco, her co-star on the The Deuce (twice over, he plays twins). According to Vulture, she says it annoys her and that she doesn’t have anything to do with it. It’s absurd that women keep having to answer for men’s misdeeds for the simple fact of proximity. However, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask Maggie Gyllenhaal the producer about the decision to keep James on the show which has been renewed by HBO for a third and final season. When asked about that, Maggie the producer put in the position of having to use the word “nuance” a whole bunch of times.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Holding A Dead Turkey

January 9, 2019 / Posted by:

You may have read that headline and looked at that picture and thought, “I don’t see her holding a copy of Artpop.

The National Board of Review ceremony happened in NYC last night, and the winners were announced in November, so Lady Gaga already knew she won Best Actress. She didn’t have to worry about straining her Botoxed face muscles while trying to look happy as either Glenn Close or Olivia Colman took the win. A Star Is Born also won one National Board of Review awards for Bradley Cooper (Best Director), and one for Sam Elliott (Best Supporting Actor). Regina King was also there last night to accept the Best Supporting Actress award, and the cast of Crazy Rich Asians showed up to collect their trophy for Best Ensemble.

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Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)

January 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.

But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!

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Madonna Never Really Disappoints At The Met Gala

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!

Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.

Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.

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