I don’t know what it’s like in Malibu, but in my neck of the woods, “outside” is extremely unsexy at the moment, and running errands has become tantamount to LARPing The Walking Dead. So to see pictures of Norman Reedus out frolicking for the paparazzi with his girlfriend Diane Kruger during a global pandemic is unsettling, to say the least. Although, mostly still because, him?!?
Shed no more tears for Joshua Jackson. After splitting up with Diane Kruger, his girlfriend of 10 years who unceremoniously went on to make a baby with Normal Reedus very quickly, it looks like Joshua is also ready to move on in a permanent and legally binding way. According to The Daily Mail, Joshua was seen in Beverly Hills with his current girlfriend, actress Jodie Turner-Smith, getting a marriage license. You might be saying to yourself, “ah, that’s nice”, and it is. The couple were first seen doing grown-folks stuff together at Usher’s 40th birthday party back in October of last year. But DM says there’s a little extra spice to this tale of boy-meets-girl because just 6 weeks ago, boy’s lips met a different girl when he was spotted dropping her off at the airport. Pacey would never!
The woman who somehow got it into her head that leaving hot-ass Pacey from Dawson’s Creek was a good idea, Diane Kruger, is sick and tired of being offered Nazi movies because she’s an Aryan-looking German woman.
And all I can think of is poor, sexy Joshua Jackson probably sitting in the stands of an abandoned hockey rink in Canada somewhere, swilling a Labatt Blue in just a jockstrap, and wondering why the hell his hot blonde German ex just had a baby with greasy crossbow guy from the zombie show. Pacey – I’m available to you for consoling. Diane Kruger, 42, has given birth to her first baby with Norman Reedus, 49, according to UsWeekly and People. There are no pics yet, so it’s unknown whether or not Diane gave birth to the squintiest baby in history.
It sometimes feels as though there are two schools of dressing when it comes to the couture of the Cannes Film Festival. One, wear only enough fabric not to get arrested for breaking a public indecency law. Or two, wear so much fabric, people will think you recently invested in a discount textile company. Diane Kruger showed up to Cannes wearing a whole lot of fabric, but according to Page Six, it’s because she might be trying to cover up a baby bump.
The Met Gala isn’t a human and isn’t even alive, and yet, that bitch is still getting more action than me.
The theme for the Met’s costume exhibit is Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and Catholic Imagination, but the dress code for the Gala was “Sunday best.” Now, my Sunday best is a faded black Dollywood t-shirt and some Fruit of the Loom sweat shorts covered with chicharron crumbs, wine splatters and lube drops from snacking, boozing and watching porn on my couch. But I guess “Sunday best” to famous rich hos is a crown that weighs more than their head and all of the fabric found in the “Perfect For Granny’s Living Room Curtains” section at Hobby Lobby.