Category: Glenn Close
Don’t Call Glenn Close A “Loser” For Not Winning An Oscar
The Oscars were weeks ago and the three people who watched have already moved on, but the media is still talking about how Twerk Team Champion Glenn Close lost her eighth shot at an Oscar. And in a recent interview with the Associated Press (via The Huffington Post), Glenn is letting everyone know they shouldn’t feel bad for her because she’s fine with it.
The 2021 Oscars Red Carpet > Brad Pitt’s Ponytail < Literally Anything Else
If last night’s Oscars ceremony can be summed up in a single image, it’s that of Brad Pitt’s struggle ponytail:
Inject Brad Pitt and his lil man bun into my veins #Oscars pic.twitter.com/SPqXb51ZMG
— Jamie Blynn (@jamieblynn) April 26, 2021
It was confusing, unnecessary, washed out, and honestly, kind of rude. Just like the show, it ended abruptly yet was also way too long. Give us Legends of the Fall locks undulating like a field of wheat in a summer breeze Brad, or give us nothing and keep it moving. Trust me, nobody wants a pinky finger’s worth of hay held together with the twist tie from a bag of Ezekiel bread. Thankfully Brad’s angry inch was outshone by the red carpet which was one of the only saving graces about this year’s ill-conceived mid-pandemic Oscars ceremony.
Glenn Close May Have Lost The Best Supporting Actress Oscar, But She Really Won The Night By Doing “Da Butt”
There was not much real entertainment (unless you count 80-hour long speeches and constant ass-kissing as “entertainment“) during last night’s Oscars. The nominees for Best Song were performed during the pre-show. But we did get a little jolt of actual fun during a segment that should have been called “What Fuckin’ Show Is This??” The segment featured a few of the nominees including the Susan Lucci of the Oscars Glenn Close (she’s been nominated 8 times and has never won) who let the Oscars voters know they can kiss her ass by doing Da Butt.
Open Post: Hosted By Oscar Nominee Glenn Close Who Did Not Win A Razzie!
The hostless, Zoom-free, and mostly maskless Oscars are happening tonight, but there’s a chance that Glenn Close, who is up for Best Supporting Actress for her role as gritty Thelma Mae Harper in People Of Walmart: The Movie Hillbilly Elegy, will not make an appearance during the 85-hour-long ceremony. And that’s because Glenn will be too busy crying into the fried wall insulation wig she wore in Hillbilly Elegy over losing a much more illustrious award. I’m talking about the Razzie!
Patti LuPone Gave Her Thoughts On “Cats” And Barbra Streisand As Mama Rose On “Watch What Happens Live”
Here’s an easy one: What do Broadway legend Patti LuPone and professional shit-stirrer Andy Cohen have in common?
Answer: Both their Suns are in DRAMA, and their Moons are in SHADE.
This is why I never miss Patti on Watch What Happens Live!
Since recent corona-recoverer Andy knows La LuPone is afflicted by the same curse as Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, he can ask her whatever “messy” (hey, Lil’ Kim and Titus Burgess’ word, not mine) questions he wants and receive golden truth nuggets!
Modesty Reigned Supreme On The SAG Awards Red Carpet
I don’t know which Project Runway reject fucked up the Overstock.com bedsheet challenge this badly either. And to think, we were so worried about Lizzo getting her juice all over the folding chairs at The Staples Center, we forgot to worry about potential coochie-contact with the upholstered seats at the Shrine Auditorium. However, Sarah Hyland’s short and confusing floral 4th of July bunting skirt was an outlier. For the most part, the outfits on display at last night’s Screen Actors’ Guild Awards were a lot more conservative, ranging from the tiered ruffles and billowy chiffon of a modest religious sect, to tailored suits. On ladies! Hollywood is confusing.