HallelujaHUH?! Andrew Garfield And Jessica Chastain Are Playing Jim And Tammy Faye Bakker In A New Biopic
You’re probably rolling your eyes at me like, “Bitch, shut up, Andrew Garfield can totally pull off Tammy Faye.” But sadly, Andrew Garfield is not slapping a pair of tar-dipped tarantulas from heaven onto his eyes to play Tammy Faye. Jessica Chastain is taking Tammy Faye and Andrew Garfield is taking Jim.
America’s third favorite Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield, was spotted strolling in London with the same mystery woman he reportedly started dating back in November. It’s a big change for Andrew to go from dating a white-hot A-lister like Emma Stone, to a plain, nondescript gal like Rita Ora (that’s her name, according to Daily Mail). The pair were photographed walking together in the Primrose Hill neighborhood, and “Rita hid her peroxide blonde locks under her trendy baker boy hat” as if she thought she might be recognized. Which might actually be true. The Mail calls her “The Hot Right Now hitmaker, 28”, so I guess if I cared to Google “Hot Right Now”, I might be able to figure out who she is. She’s alternately described as a “blond bombshell”, a “singer” and “Your Song hitmaker”. This is my “Mr. Police, I gave you all the clues” moment, and I am failing miserably!
Rita Ora is the queen of doing basically nothing but still getting invited to everything. Have you ever heard a Rita Ora song that she wasn’t a feature in or featured people way more relevant than her? Didn’t think so. Yet homegirl still gets invited to the MET Gala and shit! Well, Rita needs to keep her Queen of Showing Up career alive because those Rimmel London ads aren’t worth nothing without a bit-o-tabloid publicity. So now, it’s being reported that she’s dating former Spider-Man Andrew Garfield.
I imagine Nick Jonas is furiously firing off an iMessage to his assistant to make a “fake” Grindr account with nude pics because his gay-baiting rival, Andrew Garfield, has something to promote and is back with a vengeance to talk about his maybe-maybe-not love for the peen. Continue reading
When Andrew Garfield did lazy drag while lip synching his sad wig off at a drag show hosted by Michelle Visage, I felt like he confirmed to the world that he’s 100% straight with those 90s frat boy dance moves. But inside of Andrew is a gay man, and I don’t mean that he’s a bottom and an actual gay man is inside of him.
Our current reigning Spider-Man blew the skin off of nipples early this month when he gyrated and threw down moves as White RiRi on Lip Sync Battle. Well, our last Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield, saw Tom Holland’s RiRi drag act and raised him a Whitney drag act.