If Pete Davidson‘s big dick (moderately sized dick?) is the disease, then deleting your Instagram account must be the symptom, because peace-ing out of Insta seems to be a trend surrounding Pete and his BDE. Both Pete and Ariana Grande quit it while they were together, and now Pete’s current confirmed tonsil hockey partner Kate Beckinsale has deleted all of her Instagram pics. Kate must have been tired of comments from fans comparing her relationship with Pete to the Crypt Keeper and Teddy Ruxpin because of their 20 year age difference.
It’s been a little over two months since Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale left that Golden Globes after-party together, and many thought that she’d break up with him over a text during an Uber ride back home the next day. But they’re still at it, and now they’re at serious level: Dinner With Mom.
Entertainment Tonight is reporting that tattoo enthusiast, Pete Davidson, took some time out of this weekend’s Saturday Night Live (which is becoming The Adventures of Pete Davidson’s Dick Show) to address his ongoing thing with Kate Beckinsale and surprisingly, he didn’t talk about her vagina at all. But SNL’s ain’t over yet!
Alert the media! Oh wait, I AM the media! I’ll just get right to it then. Somehow Pete Davidson has managed to make himself even less appealing than he already was by getting yet another ugly tattoo. I imagine Pete must earn a pretty decent salary at Saturday Night Live, but judging from the amount he apparently spends on weed and ink, he’ll probably be homeless by the end of the year and nobody will even know because he already looks homeless. I hope for his sake that his new partner in slime, Kate Beckinsale, footed the bill for his most recent future cover-up, which is a thick, veiny, uni-cock. That’s right, a horned cock. His artist says it’s a unicorn, but I know a cock when I see one.
I sometimes wonder how Kate Beckinsale finds time to act or how Chrissy Teigen finds time to hype up bad celebrity lip-synch battles with their full-time jobs of dragging bitches online. Kate is no stranger to reading assholes to filth for giving their take on her dating life, so when people started circulating a meme of her and Pete Davidson sucking face at a New York Rangers hockey match while Queer Eye’s Antoni Porowski looked like, well, how anyone would look while in the presence of PDA and attention whore grossness, it was only a matter of time before the Kate bomb went off. It detonated last night.
Even with their recent displays of affection for the paparazzi I really don’t have a lot of faith in Pete Davidson‘s romance with Kate Beckinsale because it’s weird and whenever I see them Kate reminds me of a super senior in college showing Pete around campus in the daytime before inviting him to a kegger and taking his virginity on the foosball table later that night. And this scenario is very apropos for Kate because apparently she likes ’em young, dumb and you know the rest. Just ask her former fuck friend, comedian Matt Rife, who wants to issue a warning to Pete.