If you hadn’t had your daily serving of inappropriate content from misguided celebrities with pseudo-Oedipal psychosexual leanings just yet, here ya go. Page Six reports that SNL’s Pete Davidson has expressed his feeling that his mom isn’t having enough sex. He lives with her. For now. Mrs. Davidson might want to start sending him Craigslist links to places he can rent so he can GTFO of the house and stop being way too into what her vagine is up to. THAT’S YOUR MOM, Pete!
Ariana Grande could stand to take a smizing lesson or two from her dog, Toulouse. Toulouse may be tiny, but he’s saying everything that needs to be said, which is “Can you believe she brought me out here? I’ll be licking sand out of my butt for weeks!”
If only Ariana was able to serve as much face as Toulouse (even she can admit that he’s the star). She probably couldn’t focus under the weight of that massive hat. It’s hard to convey anything while trying to hold up 30 pounds of black-dyed straw. Vogue says that Ariana is wearing a hat by Eric Javits, but I’m still not convinced it’s not the big-ass straw hat Ross gave to Rachel when the gang went to the beach. Toulouse and the hat make a second appearance in some more shots taken by Annie Leibovitz. We also get to see Ariana pose with her mother and grandma.
Page Six is reporting that after a few months, the undying love of “Peckinsale” is over! Does this mean the shelf life of Pete’s wonder penis is decreasing? He better sprinkle some more MSG down his pants before he locks the next random hottie of his dreams in his intense sights. But good news for us, this might be the last post about these two (no promises).
After Ariana Grande became a single parent to Piggy Smalls Grande-Davidson by dumping Pete Davidson, he didn’t waste much time in rebounding (although is it considered rebounding when you were with your previous girlfriend for no longer than four seconds?) with Kate Beckinsale. This made another case for the government to declare Pete Davidson’s dick a weapon of mass destruction since it causes women to lose their minds and make the decision to date Pete Davidson. Kate was apparently not looking to get serious, but big dick has a way of changing a trick’s mind, because she was papped holding his hand and going to dinner with him and her mom. But after doing each other for about three months, they are letting their fuck parts cool down for a minute. That’s what People claims anyway.
It sounds like Kate Beckinsale is learning the hard way what it’s like having to deal with a barely post-adolescent man-child, and is probably thanking her lucky stars she had a girl instead of a boy. And Pete Davidson’s mom is probably wishing the same thing right about now. Pete appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and revealed that he’s currently living in his mom’s basement, playing arcade games, and popping boners for animated video game chicks.
If Pete Davidson‘s big dick (moderately sized dick?) is the disease, then deleting your Instagram account must be the symptom, because peace-ing out of Insta seems to be a trend surrounding Pete and his BDE. Both Pete and Ariana Grande quit it while they were together, and now Pete’s current confirmed tonsil hockey partner Kate Beckinsale has deleted all of her Instagram pics. Kate must have been tired of comments from fans comparing her relationship with Pete to the Crypt Keeper and Teddy Ruxpin because of their 20 year age difference.