Well, I guess we know why Francis Ford Coppola‘s partially self-funded passion project Megalopolis’ production budget is so high and why he fired his entire VFX team and his art department walked out en masse citing creative differences. Judging from new photos from the Atlanta set taken this week, Captain Francis is going to need a bigger boat (load of money) if he hopes to land his white whale because there aren’t enough effects, special, practical, or otherwise, to turn Shia LaBeouf into a Greek Goddess that anybody would pay a single red hemitetartemorion to see on the big screen. I’m looking at this shit on a little ole’ computer screen and I’m repulsed. If this is Megalopolis, throw it back. It’s clearly diseased! I’ll take The Meg(alodon) 3, 4, and 5 over this fishy mess any day.
Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…
The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.
Back in 2016, Aubrey Plaza and Robert De Niro co-starred in the gross-out comedy Dirty Grandpa (not to be confused with Johnny Knoxville’s Bad Grandpa). 79-year-old Robert played a horny old grandfather, and 38-year-old Aubrey played a horny young woman who wants to bang him. Fast forward to now: Variety reports that, at a recent talk at the London Film Festival, Aubrey reflected on her working relationship with Robert De Niro. She says she remained in character during the shoot, and that meant “acting totally insane.” So insane that Aubrey’s agent heard a rumor that “Bob’s a little freaked out.” Damn, Aubrey’s “method” acting weirded out Robert De Niro? A man who got a cab license for Taxi Driver? Who gained 70 pounds for Raging Bull? Choices…
Survivor and The Amazing Race alum Mike White‘s HBO show The White Lotus already did what it had to do by giving Jennifer Coolidge a long overdue Emmy-worthy role that she tackled to the ground and suffocated to death with her magnificent bosom. She killed that shit and has the Emmy to prove it. But as it turns out, she left her character, a ditsy, bereaved heiress named Tanya McQuoid, only mostly dead and married to the traveling businessman she hooked up with at the end of the first season. And as we know, TWL was picked up for a second season with a new cast and a new location. Variety reports that TWL will once again be doing what it’s supposed to do because Jennifer is the only returning cast member (other than the aforementioned husband played by Jon Gries, you know Lazlo who lived in Val Kilmer’s closet in Real Genius, and yes I patted myself on the back and called myself the REAL real genius for pulling that one out of my dark, twisted subconscious) for S2 which takes place at a different White Lotus resort in Sicily.
He looks like if Damien from The Omen got a job at Jiffy Lube. That’s current Hollywood slobber object Timothee Chalamat holding his statue for Best Male Lead for his part as a teenage twink in love with a much older dude in Call Me By Your Name. The Independent Spirit Awards were held yesterday. Variety reports that Jordan Peele’s “white people really ARE evil!” horror/comedy/satire Get Out won for Best Feature and Best Director, and honestly, why is Timothee dressed like a gas station attendant? Surely choosing an outfit for these things isn’t that much of a stressor that you say “eff it” and go with coveralls?
Based on some very in-depth research (ie. me staring at pictures of his extra-ripped action figure body for ten minutes), I have estimated that Zac Efron’s body is approximately 106% muscle. I know that technically the most muscle a human body could be made up of is 100%, but look at him. He’s clearly storing a whole bunch of extra muscles behind his other muscles. However, don’t think this jacked-up version of Zac Efron will be around forever. There is the possibility that one day you will see a shirtless picture of Zac Efron, and his body will be missing a matching set of bulgy biceps, a pair of plump titties, a washboard upper-crotch area, and whatever those weird muscles are on the side of your body that look like a litter of sleeping puppies.
While walking the red carpet for his latest movie, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, earlier today, Zac Efron confessed to UsWeekly that he’d be willing to say goodbye to his rock-hard body and get heavy for the right role.
“I would love to gain 30 pounds and play an aging rock star. That’d be an awesome transformation.”
Somewhere, Axl Rose heard the words “gain pounds” and “aging rock star” and whispered: “He better not be talking about me.”
I would love to see science figure out a way to make Zac Efron gain weight. I don’t think it’s possible. I’m pretty sure that any calories that go in are instantly burned up the second they attempt to make their way through the Spartan Race that is his abs.
Here are some picture of Zac Efron from the premiere of Mike and Dave with most of his body covered up by a suit. I see he’s still working that Mark McGrath-circa 1997 hair. Also included are some pictures of Adam DeVine riding Zac (not like that), as well as Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick.