Category: Quinta Brunson

Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…

January 16, 2023 / Posted by:

The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.

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Here Are Some Of The Wet And Wild Looks From The 2023 Golden Globes Red Carpet

January 11, 2023 / Posted by:

Did somebody say FASHUN?!? Well, say it louder next time, I don’t think the folks in the back heard you over the din of shitfaced celebrities using the Golden Globes’ phenomenal flame out last year as an excuse to load up on free champagne, talk shit, and network with fellow survivors of the Great Los Angeles Deluge of 2023. However, a few stars heard the call to bare arms (regretfully, ladies only. Where was Timothée Chalamet with his scrumptious little back meats!?) and used the opportunity to challenge their stylists to come up with a look that simultaneously screams “I’m the greatest star” and “I am being pranked by my stylist, aren’t I.” Meanwhile, the real jackasses pulling one over on these celebrities are the goon-squad of aestheticians going around convincing them to donate their precious buccal fat reserves “for charity.” Sad truth is that only a tiny portion of their donations actually make it to starving children in need. Sorry, Wednesday‘s Jenna Ortega, your generous donation is now just padding for some ghoul’s pocket. Also, I think your parachute got a little turned around. Must have been the wind.

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Billie Eilish And Her Boyfriend Jesse Rutherford Made Their Red Carpet Debut At The LACMA Art + Film Gala

November 7, 2022 / Posted by:

A successful, independent young woman like Billie Eilish can’t be expected to go around twinning with her brother every time she’s got a red carpet event to dress for. In fact, it starts to look a little weird after a while. Billie seems to understand that now and used the annual LAMCA Art + Film Gala to take the opportunity to make her twinning red carpet debut with her boyfriend, The Neighbourhood frontman Jesse Rutherford. Unfortunately, Billie chose the wrong event because there was another set of twins on the red carpet that not only completely eclipsed the stars in attendance, but they also eclipsed the very moon and sun that shine above. Sure Billie and Jesse looked cute shrouded in a Gucci comforter over matching Gucci pajamas, but even one unprotected glance at Salma Hayek’s twin gaseous orbs has the power to render the viewer blind.

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Blue Ivy Carter Bid $80,000 On A Pair Of Beyoncé’s Old Earrings At Tina Knowles-Lawson’s Wearable Art Gala

October 24, 2022 / Posted by:

With Alec Baldwin’s career in a precarious position, it’s only right that a new Boss Baby should emerge from the wreckage. At the practically geriatric pediatric age of 10, Blue Ivy Carter is a hair too long in the baby tooth to retain the title, but she is well positioned to be crowned our nation’s premiere Mogul Middlegrader. Blue Ivy, accompanied by her entourage, which includes pop singer Beyoncé and her husband, rapper Jay Z, attended her granny’s little dress-up party over the weekend and made her presence known by bidding $80,000 for a pair of earrings at the 2022 Wearable Art Gala auction. Let one of Elon Musk’s looming babies fight it out with one of Nick Cannon’s predicted progeny for the title of Boss Baby. Blue Ivy is so far ahead of the game that she’ll be retired with a full pension before any of those babies coming up behind her even get a chance to check in with HR for their orientation.

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Sheryl Lee Ralph Confronted Jimmy Kimmel About His Bit During Quinta Brunson’s Acceptance Speech At The Emmys, And He Has Apologized To Quinta

September 15, 2022 / Posted by:

The fact that Quinta Brunson rose from the realm of internet skits to being awarded an Emmy for her hilarious hit show Abbott Elementary is an inspiration to anyone writing comedy (ie: ME!). However her moment was stolen by the antics of overgrown teenager Jimmy Kimmel, as he chose to remain on the ground after a bit with Will Arnet during her acceptance speech. First of all Jimmy, you’re way too old for these kinds of shenanigans. Secondly, nobody is pleased with the way you tried to make Quinta’s moment all about you. And one of those folks is Sheryl Lee Ralph, who won her first Emmy for her role in Abbott before giving a rousing speech that’s still inspiring everyone. Now, Sheryl is speaking out about Jimmy’s sad Life Alert re-enactment by saying she thought it was just plain disrespectful.

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“Abbott Elementary” Creator Quinta Brunson Had To Step Over Jimmy Kimmel To Collect Her Emmy

September 13, 2022 / Posted by:

Despite having been nominated for and losing the Emmy for Outstanding Variety Talk Show for the 11th year in a row, Jimmy Kimmel still managed to become the #TalkofTwitter last night at the 2022 Emmy Awards ceremony for stepping over first-time nominee Quinta Brunson’s big moment when she had to literally step over his ass to get to the podium to collect her Emmy for Best Writing in a Comedy series. OK, not literally. Jimmy was laying on his back playing dead on stage, so more accurately she literally had to step over his crotch which proved to me that not only did she earn that Emmy with her talent, but she also deserves an award for Best Restraint for not piercing his nut sack with a well placed 10” stiletto heel. Brava, my Short Queen!

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