Is This (The New) Normal? Notable Looks From The Grammy Awards Red Carpet
Last night, Doja Cat stood in front of the iconic Grammy red carpet backdrop wearing a vomit-colored feather duster for a skirt and her titties hanging out of a motorcycle jacket unzipped to below her navel. The earth is healing. Yes, high fashion fuckery was once again afoot after a year of no-risk, half-assed, low stakes virtual awards ceremonies. This year’s Grammy Awards may have been an essentially meaningless ode to a troublesome industry, but short of receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, seeing a cum-stiffened sheet ghost rearing up to engulf Noah Cyrus from behind, was the only light at the end of the tunnel I needed to see.
Brother and sister duo Billie Eilish and Finneas maintained their usual aesthetic of weird artsy siblings who don’t need any outside friends thankyouverymuch:
But meanwhile, sister act Haim would very much like to be a part of something bigger as evidenced by their matching cult wear and unfortunate side-bang situation. The Prada transponders worn on their chests is so the mothership can easily locate their terrestrial meat vehicles (TMVs) when The Departure is nigh:
I hope they have ironing boards in the alpha centauri cluster. Haim’s Supreme (as evidenced by them short-circuiting at her mere presence) Taylor Swift accidentally dressed for the wrong awards show! Embarrassing, I know. She thought she was going to be picking the Best In Show award at Berk’s County Home & Garden Show sponsored by Miracle-Gro:
As previously mentioned, Doja Cat’s look was a clear indicator that we’ve really turned a corner with the pandemic. As such, we’ll know we are truly on the other side once everyone’s home-cut bangs have grown out. Unfortunately, that includes wigs too so let’s stay vigilant folks!
One thing I’m not looking forward to in the after-times is standing around taking pictures with my tall friends again. It’s always the same, one minute you’re really feeling yourself and then here comes Megan Thee Stallion with her 4-foot leg and all of a sudden you’re back to being a some kind of weird troll. It’s really demoralizing. Anyway, here are some more notable looks from the Grammy red carpet plus Miranda Lambert.
Pics: Wenn.com, AP