Open Post: Hosted By This Irish College Student’s Insane Campaign Video

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

I’d vote for her in a hot second!

Mashable would like you to meet University of Limerick, Ireland student, Aoife O’Brie. She’s running for the VP Academic Officer in her students’ union, and wanted to stand out from the competition, so she put together this crazy-ass campaign video. It’s going to take you on a journey behind the drapes of reality and further still. “I honestly thought I stuck to booze last night but now I’m not so sure…” – me after watching this video this morning.

Hopefully, she wins. She might have to make her acceptance speech from a wheelchair though because her asshole friend(?) hit her REALLY hard. Ow?

Pic: Facebook

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Shailene Woodley Struck A Plea Deal In Her Pipeline Arrest Last Year

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Shailene Woodley and her sun-dappled vagina found themselves in steel bracelets last October when they were arrested for protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline.

People is reporting that the celebrity woodland nymph won’t have to serve any jail time, as her lawyers struck a plea bargain for her. This is too bad, because the yard at a women’s prison seems like the optimal place to sun your vagine. Your crotch receives the vitamin D that your crazy limousine hippie mind thinks it requires, AND it’s the perfect way to let your fellow convicts know that you’re open to a jailhouse relationship with which to kill the time. Continue reading

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The One Direction/Girls Aloud Baby Is Here

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Former One Direction member Liam Payne twinked a fetus into former Girls Aloud member Cheryl (tn: Cheryl Ann Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini) nine months ago, and now that future British pop icon has emerged from the birth canal.

Liam announced on Instagram that Cheryl uncrossed her legs and gave the world a whole slew of upcoming OK! and HELLO! magazine articles on Wednesday of this week. One Direction fans who wanted Liam’s seed for their own wombs (and have also had to deal with another 1D-er spawning fairly recently) must already be suggesting baby names on social media. Although, I’m not sure “CherylColeIsEvilAndImLiamsOneAndOnly” is something you find in a baby naming book.

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Val Kilmer Is Fully In Love With Cate Blanchett

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

The defiantly cancer-free Val Kilmer is probably the only person who didn’t snicker a little bit when they saw Cate Blanchett done up as a middle-aged The Sisters of Mercy fan for the next Thor flick. That’s because the best Batman (it’s an unpopular opinion but come find me if you feel differently) is in glorious Twitter love with the Australian actress.

Val has turned his Twitter feed into a veritable shrine dedicated to Cate Blanchett worship. It wouldn’t surprise me if noted eccentric Val dresses up his pets as Galadriel, Kate Hepburn, and a closeted lesbian housewife in the 1950s. Wait, scratch that, it probably shouldn’t be cats.

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SNL’s Michael Che Still Insists Boston Is The Most Racist City In America

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Pretty much.” – J. Harvey, Bostonian

Michael Che’s a co-anchor on Saturday Night Live contribution to fake news – Weekend Update. He had a shitty experience when it came to being a black guy visiting Boston, and alluded to it during his segment on the Superbowl weekend episode this year. If you’ll remember, it was the Pats vs. the Atlanta Falcons vs. Lady Gaga faking jumping off the roof of NRG Stadium.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Judith Pronk, the original lead singer of Alice Deejay!

2000 must’ve been a nightmare year for you if you hated the song Better Off Alone by Alice Deejay, because it was absolutely everywhere and I don’t think you could make it through the week, let alone day, without hearing it once. They played it in stores, on the radio, at clubs, in gyms, at sports games, the birds hummed it, it was the soundtrack of your dreams, etc… etc…. You couldn’t escape it! Alice Deejay had other dance hits but none reached the peak that Better Off Alone reached.

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