Afternoon Crumbs

/ April 19, 2019

Michelle Williams is reportedly single after her marriage to Phil Elverum ate shit after less than a year. Well, the good news for Michelle is that when she wins a billion awards for playing Gwen Verdon in the theatrical ass gay dream that is Fosse/Verdon, she doesn’t have to worry about remembering to thank her husband – Just Jared

Anna Camp and Skylar Astin’s marriage has also eaten shit after two years. You’d think that if their relationship could survive the Pitch Perfect sequels, it could survive ANYTHING – Popsugar

The dude who is jumping through that playground net thing is obviously doing an interpretive piece about The Hammaconda trying to get through any vagina – Pajiba

Thanks to those glasses, Anne Hathaway is serving deranged business woman bee – Popoholic

While many of us cried tears of boredom over Madonna’s new song with Maluma, he cried tears of happiness when he first heard it on the radio – Towleroad

The real and raw truth is that only Diane Keaton and ravers from the 90s can get away with that overpriced JNCO shit – Celebitchy

Oh look, this Sommer Ray person is wearing the exact outfit you’re planning to wear to Easter Sunday mass – Drunken Stepfather

Pic: Wenn.com

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Pete Davidson Says He’s Living With His Mom

/ April 19, 2019

It sounds like Kate Beckinsale is learning the hard way what it’s like having to deal with a barely post-adolescent man-child, and is probably thanking her lucky stars she had a girl instead of a boy. And Pete Davidson’s mom is probably wishing the same thing right about now. Pete appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and revealed that he’s currently living in his mom’s basement, playing arcade games, and popping boners for animated video game chicks.

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Charlize Theron Reveals She’s Raising Her First Child, Jackson, As A Girl

/ April 19, 2019

The Daily Mail is reporting that Charlize Theron is gunning for Celebrity Mother Of The Year Award and she’s starting her bid early. In a move which is going to make religious fundamentalists explode in rage and tweet at her about the “truth” of gender and birth, Charlize let it be known that she is raising her first child, 7-year-old Jackson–who was introduced to the world as a boy–as a girl.

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Will Smith Claims He Loves The “Aladdin” Genie Memes

/ April 19, 2019

Will Smith is making the biggest mistake of his career (and that includes when he inexplicably went after the elderly in the song “You saw my blinker, bitch“) and trying to reprise the iconic role of the Genie in Aladdin. Everyone knows that role forever belongs to Robin Williams and the only person who can play that role is NO ONE and/or the ghost of Robin Williams.

Will has taken some heat not only for reprising the role but for the look of the Genie and it even became a brief meme sensation. He’s taken all it all in stride and says he finds the memes funny and he’s learning all about the internets.

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After #FreeBritney Trends, Sources Say That Britney Spears Was In A Really Bad Way Before Getting Treatment

/ April 19, 2019

The #FreeBritney movement started after the podcasters behind the podcast Britney’s Gram did an episode devoted to a tip they got from a dude who claims to have been a paralegal at the law firm that handles Brit Brit Spears’ conservatorship.

In January, Brit Brit announced that she was dropping her latest Las Vegas residency Domination like it was broccoli that wasn’t slathered in Velveeta, because Daddy Spears, whose colon had ruptured, had the sicks and she wanted to care for him. Then we heard earlier this month that Daddy Spears’ condition was getting worse and the stress became too much for Brit to take and she voluntarily checked herself into a 30-day mental health program at some wellness center. Well, that paralegal dude claims that Brit is being held against her will in a mental institution and Daddy Spears put her there in January after she stopped taking her meds. And now “sources” are coming out to say there would’ve been an encore of her pink wig and umbrella-wielding days if something wasn’t done.

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