Gillian Jacobs (35)
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Jason Reitman (40)
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Chris Kattan (47)
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Robert Reed (1932-1992)
Tidal (yes, it still exists) held a hurricane relief benefit concert at Barclays Center in Brooklyn last night, and I guess Beyonce decided to pay tribute to Puerto Rico by dressing up in Jennifer Lopez drag. And poor Gorgon Heap from The Muppet Show. He was obviously butchered to make that stole – Lainey Gossip
Marchesa’s Damage Control Express has made a stop off at People Magazine – Celebitchy
Blac Chyna is suing all of the Kartrashians. And that means that there’s a chance that Chyna and Pimp Mama Kris’ kin will all be in a court room together. Okay, who’s going to pay off the bailiff to let a pride of lions into the court room before locking the door? – Reality Tea
Colton Haynes and Billy Eichner say that they laughed while filming their American Horror Story sex scene. I bet, but they would’ve really, really laughed if Colton Haynes was the top in that scene – Towleroad
I barely made it past season two of Orange is The New Black but at least it’s given me a good working knowledge of the ins and outs of a women’s correctional facility. New arrivals should keep their head down, find a crew and not act whiny, privileged and obnoxious. Sounds like Abby Lee Miller, formerly of Dance Moms and currently of Cell Block 666, did not add “binge watch OITNB” to her pre-prison activities list because she’s totally pulled a Piper. According to Radar, everybody in prison hates her as much as everyone on the outside does.
Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift! Continue reading
Billy Joel’s 68-year-old sperm should be retired and spending their days rocking on a wooden chair on the porch inside his balls, but they’re working just as hard as ever. Billy casually spilled the new baby beans during a recent interview with the Belfast Telegraph. While chilling in Billy’s vintage bike shop, his very-pregnant 35-year-old fourth wife Alexis Roderick walked in with their 2-year-old daughter Della Rose.
Billy announced their arrival by saying, “That’s my wife. We are due next month.” This will be Billy Joel’s third kid after Della and Alexa Ray Joel, his 31-year-old daughter with Christie Brinkley.
But what if Billy wants to take a seniors nap at the same time as his new baby? Babies can be fussy about falling asleep. Luckily Billy already has that covered. I recently rented a car that had SiriusXM (fancy) and the person before me had it programmed to the Billy Joel channel. The channel is just Billy muttering about whatever while tooling around at the piano. It’s like liquid Ambien for the ears. I had to turn it off before I rear-ended a car. Whenever his new baby gets restless, he can just close the blinds and flip on his Sirius channel, and they’ll both be out like a light.
Even though Fashion Police has survived in some form or fashion after Joan Rivers’ passing in 2014, it hasn’t really felt the same since none of the remaining cast knows how to tell a good dry pussy joke. The execs at E! must long for those days because they’ve decided to cancel the show and send it off with a farewell next month. Continue reading