Ja Rule’s Expensive Island Music Festival Has Turned Into A Nightmare

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Ja Rule, clearly driven by a desire to create a music festival that would make Coachella look tolerable, launched the Fyre Festival with a tech guy named Billy McFarland. It was a two-weekend luxury music festival that started today on the Exumas Islands of the Bahamas. It was supposed to feature acts like Migos, Blink-182, and Ja Rule himself. Tickets ranged from $495 for a single day pass to $12,780 for a four-person stay in a “rustic tented space.” It ended up being entirely appropriate that the festival was named the Fyre Festival, because has turned into a flaming hot mess.

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Goopy Paltrow And Anna Wintour Are Forming An Unholy Union To Bring Us The Goop Magazine 

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Everyone has been saying for years and years that the print magazine industry is dying a slow, painful death and will one day be completely extinct. But today, it’s the trees who are shaking with fear, because Goopy Paltrow is here to save the entire print magazine industry!

Women’s Wear Daily says that Goopy and Anna Wintour have joined evil forces to steam queef out Goop the Magazine. Since the High Priestess of Pretentiousness and the Death Eater Queen of Fashion are working on a magazine together, expect articles about how to tell if the virgin blood you’re about to drink directly from the vein is sugar-free, fat-free, preservatives-free, gluten-free, corn-free, soy-free and organic. I also can’t wait to read Tracy Anderson’s article on the 5 easy stretches you should do to make sure your legs don’t cramp while kneeling during a really long sacrificial ritual ceremony to Satan.

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Carmelo Anthony Is Trying To Save His Marriage By Liking La La’s Instagrams

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Carmelo and La La Anthony’s marriage recently bit the dust for several reasons including him allegedly getting one of his side pieces pregnant. Even though Carmelo is “taking care” of his pregnant side piece, who reportedly works in education and is not a stripper, TMZ says that he really doesn’t want to get divorced from La La. Carmelo is apparently doing everything he can to make sure that doesn’t happen. Carmelo is really trying to win La La back by going above and beyond. Brace your hearts for the following huge romantic gestures: He’s sending her texts and liking her social media posts.

Sources tell TMZ that Carmelo has been apologizing to La La and begging her to go on a date or a vacation via text, and also liking her Instagram posts. Carmelo never used to acknowledge anything she posted to social media, so sources say there’s a chance this could work and he legitimately wants to be with her. They’re currently on ok terms right now for the sake of their 10-year-old son Kiyan.

If Carmelo wants to win La La back, I think he’s going about it in the right way. La La is a friend of the Kardashians, which means she no doubt gets the vapors from Instagram attention. If Carmelo really wanted to prove he was serious about his La La loyalty, he would make the move from liking to commenting. I mean, there’s no way La La could resist once she saw Carmelo write the words “COME ON VACATION WITH ME, QUEEN!

Pic: Instagram

Tiny Has Filed For Divorce From T.I. Again

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

No, you’re not having a bout of end-of-week brain narcolepsy; this same post happened exactly four months ago. Back in December, it was revealed that Tameka “Tiny” Cottle had filed papers to end her six-year (sometimes-messy) marriage to T.I., just nine months after the birth of their third child. In March they decided to sleep on the thought of splitting up and they got back together. That didn’t last. E! News says that Tiny served T.I. with divorce papers earlier this week. T.I. responded to the papers by filing an acknowledgement on Monday. T.I. and Tiny have been together since 2002. They have three kids and share four step-children.

For the past five years, T.I. and Tiny have starred on a VH1 reality show about their lives, T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle. He told Harry Connick Jr. (it still feels like a mistake that he has a talk show) on Thursday that he’ll be sad to see the show end, but that he’s “glad to get people out of my business a little bit.” T.I. might not want to be on TV anymore, but I certainly hope Tiny doesn’t feel the same way. Tiny and her gorgeous living statue face need to be on television. Actually, this would be the perfect time for a third season of the tragically cancelled too soon Tiny and Toya! Tiny is single for the first time in sixteen years, and who better to help her navigate the dating scene than her best friend Toya Wright? Tiny and Toya Learn About Tinder, Wednesdays at 8.

Pic: Wenn.com

Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Willie Ortiz, the Gato Saint of Connecticut!

The world is a landfill of shit, trash and smegma, but sometimes in the ugliness of it all, a daisy grows and we’re reminded that not all news is depressing and disgusting. Case in point: the tale of Willie Ortiz that has made even the most frozen hearts melt into a puddle of awww in chests. As Cali, one of the readers who dropped this into my inbox, points out, Willie Ortiz is the Eugene Bostick of catmanity.

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Birthday Sluts

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Drew and Jonathan Scott (39)
Melanie Martinez (22)
Samuel Larsen (26)
Jenna Ushkowitz (31)
Harry Shum Jr. (35)
Jessica Alba (36)
Alex Riley (36)
Michael Carbonaro (41)
Caroline Stanbury (41)
Penelope Cruz (43)
Eric Vale (43)
Jorge Garcia (44)
Elisabeth Rohm (44)
Violent J (45)
Bridget Moynahan (46)
Too Short (51)
Kim Gordon (64)
Mary McDonnell (65)
Jay Leno (67)
Paul Guilfoyle (68)
Ann-Margret (76)
Lionel Barrymore (1878-1954)
Harper Lee (1926-2016)

Pic: Pinterest

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