You’re at San Diego Comic-Con and you want to accomplish two goals. You want to upstage the rest of the busted 2 million cosplayers attending, AND you want to spice up a super-boring panel discussion about an upcoming film. You must be openly queer actor Ezra Miller, ‘cuz he showed up as Toadette from the Super Mario Bros. universe and bodies were dropping left and right over the hat alone.
Rapper 6ix9ine, AKA Teka$hi 6ix9ine AKA Tekashi69 AKA Daniel Hernandez, is in the hospital after having the crap beaten out of him last night. According to TMZ, it wasn’t a clear case of karma being a bitch, because the abuse wasn’t inflicted by a group of kids gathering around him “Children Of The Corn” style, prodding him repeatedly all over his body with sharpened pitchforks (in case you missed it, 6ix9ine has been convicted of sexual crimes against a minor).
Instead of that fairy tale ending, 6ix9ine was instead accosted by a group of robbers who layed a vicious smack down on the rapper, holding him hostage before breaking into his house and robbing him of $750k in jewelry and around $15k to $20k in cash. At least, that’s the version his people would have us believe. Apparently, 6ix9ine told the cops a different story. Continue reading
Alaskan spawning salmon Bristol Palin is joining the cast of MTV’s Teen Mom OG for their upcoming eighth season. Despite Bristol not being a teen (she’s 27) or an original member of the 16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom cast, she’ll be front and center on MTV’s long-running reality show about the lives and loves of surly young women, their dumb and/or beleaguered sperm donors, and their unfortunate children. And she’s being paid $250K for the privilege! That’s a lot of bail money to cover the aftermath of the Palin family’s next drunk-ass snowmobile hoedown. Continue reading
Happy Birthday to the only star that might one day eclipse THE QUEEN! It’s her great-grandson, Prince George, who could probably cut the royal line to rule the UK and pretty much the world in the next few decades due to his powerful style and potent sass. This fashion-forward, effervescent tyke is living his best life as he grabs the world by the face with his mischevious grin and royal splendor. (Note the hand in pocket. It’s becoming his signature pose.)
Dad and Mum (Prince William and Duchess Kate) have released the prince’s official 5th birthday photo and he’s the definition of adorbs. Few can work a Peter Pan collar with such confidence. This here’s one of em’.
“Permission to come aboard?” YOU DAMN SKIPPY, JASON MOMOA. This movie is probably a piece of vibrantly covered dookie, but whew, DC Comics’ Aquaman is fine. Here’s the trailer for his new flick which will doggy paddle into trailers this December. Just in time for Christmas – an underwater fap fantasy! Continue reading
When you hear about something called “Major Morgan” from the 1970s and 80s, you may perk all-the-way-up like me, thinking that back then Morgan Fairchild starred in a sitcom where she played the commander of a fake Camp Pendleton (think Major Dad but a zillion times more entertaining and glamorous). But Major Morgan was actually a hand-held musical toy for kids that Playskool put out in 1979.
Major Morgan was done up like a marching band member, and had buttons on his square-shaped torso and crotch that’d make musical magic when pressed. Major Morgan came with highly technical sheet music that was so artistically complex you’d think Beethoven composed it in its prime. The “sheet music” (which was like a card) went into Major Morgan and you pressed the symbols on the card to make him fart out musical masterpieces like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Old McDonald. via Do You Remember?
Once inserted into the unit the top section of the card showed a series of symbols which could either be coloured shapes or squares either with or without numbers. The bottom section had the same symbols replicated over the notes they represented. You followed the top section and pressed the corresponding symbol below to play the aforementioned melodies.
And because of the creepy side-eye and sinister toothless smile Major Morgan made from children touching his torso, the only letters I want to press on his body are S-O-S!