Birthday Sluts

/ November 21, 2018
Nicollette Sheridan (55)
Sam Palladio (33)
Carly Rae Jepsen (33)
Guy Wilson (33)
Jena Malone (34)
Brie Bella (35)
Nikki Bella (35)
Ryan Carnes (36)
Cherie Johnson (43)
Brook Kerr (45)
Rain Phoenix (46)
Michael Strahan (47)
Ken Griffey Jr. (49)

Pic: Getty

Troy Aikman (52)
Björk (53)
Cherry Jones (62)
Tina Brown (65)
Lorna Luft (66)
Goldie Hawn (73)
Marcy Carsey (74)
Juliet Mills (77)
Marlo Thomas (81)
Harold Ramis (1944-2015)
Vivian Blaine (1921-1995)
René Magritte (1898-1967)
Voltaire (1694-1778)
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Night Crumbs

/ November 20, 2018

The random couple that The Voice burped up, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, are still a thing and they declared the real war on Christmas by releasing the video for the Christmas song she put out a year ago. If that unholy song ever plays when you’re in a store and it causes you to snap, breaking all sorts of shit, and you’re arrested for vandalism, just tell the judge, “Your honor, that Blake and Gwen Christmas song was playing.” The judge should dismiss all charges against you and instead charge the store for ear assault – Lainey Gossip 

In case you need a palate cleanser from the ChristMESS song in the link above – Towleroad

A PUPPEH!!!!!!!! (Oh yeah and Olivia Munn too)Popoholic

If you squint you can almost see the Fix-A-Flat logo on Farrah Abraham’s ass – Drunken Stepfather

Another royal wedding might be upon us thanks to Princess Beatrice possibly being royally dickmatized – Celebitchy

There’s a lot of pillows in this picture and that doesn’t include Elizabeth Hurley’s chest pillows. And I’m sorry for writing “chest pillows”Hollywood Tuna

Piers Morgan is acting like an overused butt plug for attention again. Groundbreaking. – Pajiba

Brandi Glanville screamed at a dude trying to break into her Range Rover, and surprisingly she didn’t slap the thief down like he was Lisa VanderpumpReality Tea

Today in “Everybody is in the Cats movie” – Just Jared 

Pic: YouTube

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Brad Pitt Is Trying To Avoid A Custody Trial

/ November 20, 2018

Now for the 6,999,7777 update in the Brangelina divorce saga. And that number is an understatement.

Angelina Jolie reportedly got so vicious in fighting for the kids that Brad Pitt became so clean in his living that he didn’t even bother coming up this way to Massachusetts today to help us celebrate the first day of legal pot shops! Now Brad is said to be appealing to Angie to keep this thing out of court for the sake of the kids.

Us Weekly says Brad has called up Angelina to say “think of the kids!” in her push to send their custody battle the courtroom. A snitch gave more details:

“He reached out hoping to persuade Angie that the hearing will cause lasting psychological damage to their children. There will be no winners, no matter what the judge decides.”

Even though it seemed like shit was beginning to turn into a game of we’re-still-getting-divorced Patty Cake between those two, they filed documents in Los Angeles to get a judge to sort out their custody woes. While I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to have Maleficent and Joe Black stroll into my courtroom, shit like this usually winds up getting settled out of court for the sake of it not being recommended for your overall development to see Mom and Dad duke it out in front of a judge. An Angelina source says Angie and Brad are “working together to reach a settlement outside of court.” I hope that just means Angelina will get the kids on the days she wants them in exchange for never writing and directing Brad in a movie ever again.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Mel B Claims That There’s A Secret Shangri-La Of Celebrity Peen On The Internet

/ November 20, 2018

Mel B’s book Brutally Honest is coming out soon, and she and the publishers are selling it like a Mary Kay saleswoman circa 1987 who is just 50 Magic Masques away from getting that pink Cadillac. They’re releasing excerpts from her book that are a mixture of disturbing and ESCANDALOSO like how she snorted six lines of coke a day during The X Factor and was left traumatized after having to watch the dozens of illegal sex tapes her smegma bubble of an ex-husband made without her consent. But the story that made me stop, drop, and roll was the one about how Mel B supposedly met up with two famous dudes after meeting them on a secret hookup website where single famous men allegedly post dick pics.

So Scary Spice is telling me that somewhere on the internet exists a place where there’s picture after picture of a hard dick of a celebrity and the celebrity posts it himself? Does the site’s intro page look like this?

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Glamour Magazine Will No Longer Exist In Print Form

/ November 20, 2018

I saw a dude at CVS the other day buying three copies of the same issue of Soap Opera Digest, so I figured print media was having a strident comeback. Alas, that does not seem to be the case. Glamour, one of the women’s magazines at Condé Nast not totally terrorized by Anna Wintour, has been coming out with a print edition each month for close to 80 years. That will all come to a screeching halt after the January edition rolls out next week.

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Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Thanksgiving Thinspiration Didn’t Go Over Well

/ November 20, 2018

Turkey day is fast approaching, which means you could be preparing by pulling out your loosest pants. Or if you’re Sarah Michelle Gellar, you’re anticipating stuffing your face, but not tooooo much thanks to the multiple pictures of your Photoshopped body that you’ll have hanging around your house as a reminder not to go overboard. Sarah joked on Instagram about keeping Thanksgiving thinspiration pics around her house for the big day; not surprisingly, it didn’t go over well.

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