Birthday Sluts

/ January 23, 2019
Tiffani Thiessen (45)
Dlisted (14)
Rachel Crow (21)
Doutzen Kroes (34)
Draya Michele (34)
Julia Jones (38)
Tito Ortiz (44)
Lisa Wu (46)
Ewen Bremner (47)
Lisa Snowdon (47)

Pic: NBC/Getty

Ariadna Gil (50)
Mariska Hargitay (55)
Gail O’Grady (56)
Princess Caroline of Monaco (62)
Robin Zander (66)
Richard Dean Anderson (69)
Anita Pointer (71)
Rutger Hauer (75)
Chita Rivera (86)
Jeanne Moreau (1928-2017)
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Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 33 – Woe Is Bradley Cooper! Where’s Mister Rogers? And Other Oscar Nominations Talk 

/ January 23, 2019

After a 4,598 year hiatus (or a little over a month if you want to be specific about it), we are back with a third co-host. Allison delivered a human bundle of baby and she joins us for the first part of this episode. We got rid of her for the second part, because she goo goo’d out lines that are a million times funnier and smarter than anything we could come up with and we were tired of her showing us up like that.

Allison and I get into the Oscar nominations from the snubs to the surprises to the predictions to me butchering name after name while angering my ancestors. We also say a few words about Chris Brown’s latest arrest, Anne Hathaway giving up booze for her kid, and the lavish dog funeral. We end with me asking Allison the question of 2019: Would you suck dick to get Evian into the Fyre Festival?

You can listen to us on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google Play. Subscribe and rate us if you haven’t already. And if you have an important (or not important question) that you want answered, e-mail us at: dtp@dlisted.com!

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Night Crumbs

/ January 22, 2019

Neri Oxman, the MIT professor who may or may not have bumped fuck parts with Brad Pitt, pretentiously announced in The New York Times’ Style Section that she and her billionaire boyfriend are married and she’s pregnant. Hmmm… pregnant about three months after denying that she ever dated Brad Pitt? Neri’s going to have some serious explaining to do if she gives birth to a bong that thinks it’s a regular Michelangelo – Celebitchy

Chris Pine is serving up 19th century accountant on Casual Friday – Lainey Gossip 

When you’re rich like Karlie Kloss and just go from the heated SUV to the venue, you don’t have to worry about a peasant thing called “covering up your legs while in Paris in the winter”Drunken Stepfather

Tom Hanks’ character in That Thing You Do! was gay and doing it with Howie Long, and it’s great that I know that, but now I also have that annoying ass title song of cheese stuck in the crevices of my brain. The price you pay for shit – Pajiba

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More About That “Charlize Theron And Brad Pitt Are A Thing” Thing

/ January 22, 2019

Ain’t nobody got time to air side pieces during a normal divorce proceeding because that just screams, “Discretionary cash! Gimme half!

There were tabloid murmurs that Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron were casually doing it after meeting on the set of a shoot for Breitling watches (see: above) six months ago. But some people took that with a grain of salt since Brad is friends with Charlize’s ex, Sean Penn. Brad seems lucid enough these days to know so much as a sneeze in front of Sean can set him off, so I’d imagine he’d steer clear of boinking the lady Sean used to be boinking. Alas, we’re now at an impasse: some people say they’re definitely NOT a thing while others say they definitely ARE – but don’t want to make a deal out of it until he and Angelina Jolie are no longer legally bound.

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Pamela Anderson Says Only The Worst Lovers Watch Porn

/ January 22, 2019

I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since I saw Scarlet Takes A Tumble for the first time. Because finding out that Pamela Anderson is a porn prude is almost as devastating as discovering Ronald McDonald hates hamburgers. Alas, it’s true. Pam isn’t here for porn or (GASP) video games because she believes they are turning all the men into mindless zombies.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Kidz Bop Version Of “In My Feelings”

/ January 22, 2019

I am blessedly child-free so I only have to endure insipid children’s programming when I’m with my 5-year-old niece who inexplicably loves something called PJ Masks. I tried to get her to explain the appeal to me, but it was kind of like trying to get a straight answer out of Lindsay Lohan about that kidnapping attempt. Pointless and confusing. Thankfully, the dear child enjoys a wider variety of music than she does in TV. She listens to all kinds of grown up music like Bruno Mars. She also likes Bruno Mars, Bruno Mars, and Bruno Mars. As far as I know, she hasn’t discovered Drake yet, and that’s good because I don’t trust him around children. But apparently she’s in the minority; kids go gaga for Drake, despite the fact that his lyrics often touch on adult subject matters like God and (ALLEGEDLY) fucking Kim Kardashian. Enter Kidz Bop 39 Feat. “In My Feelings”, making Drake safe for the juice box set.

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