Night Crumbs

July 20, 2017 / Posted by:

A not-as-barfy Jennifer Lawrence crawled away from wherever she was recovering from the stomach flu to appear at a charity comedy show with Amy Schumer last night in New York. I hope the first row was given plastic ponchos to wear in the event her Pepto-Bismol wore off – Lainey Gossip

Rich Bitch with a Plane” sounds like a perfect title for a Real Housewife’s memoirs – Reality Tea

Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer – Celebitchy

I like to think that the next time this shark shows up, it will be wearing a curly blonde wig and instructing a school of fish to spell out “I won’t be ignored, Mick” – Towleroad

In an alternate reality, Bella Thorne is just some random girl who gets kicked out of Sephora for painting her toenails with the polish samples – Hollywood Tuna

Eva Longoria is in a bikini – The Nip Slip

Rachel Bilson could be in a bikini, but who knows? Maybe she’s working a pair of fishing waders on her lower half  – Popoholic

I don’t know what style Karlie Kloss’ swimsuit is, but I do know she’s gambling with some potentially weird midsection tan lines – Drunken Stepfather

A mini Scrubs reunion happened, but it’s nothing without The Janitor! – Popsugar

Tyga says he’s not in love with Kylie Jenner anymore. I believe that’s code for: “I’ve officially been cut-off financially” – Just Jared


Mayim Bialik got a $0.02 residual check from a 28-year-old appearance on Doogie Howser, M.D., which leads me to ask…there’s a channel still airing Doogie Howser? – SOW

Do you like wigs, explosions, Taraji P. Henson, and Tina Turner? Then you’ll be very into the Proud Mary trailer – Jezebel

Pic: Instagram


Lea Michele Finds A Date…And Not From A Number On A Bathroom Stall

July 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Lea Michele has moved from the brothel to the boardroom, as Us Weekly reports. The Glee star is dating Zandy Reich, the president of clothing company AYR.

Zandy. Sigh. Now all I can think of is what a People magazine cover would have looked like if Zsa Zsa Gabor and Andy Griffith had the real-life Green Acres love affair America never knew it needed. ANYWHO.

Despite moving him into her home and thinking that her Eliza Doolittle plot was working, Lea’s ex-boo and ex-gigolo (not to Lea…that we know of!) Matthew Paetz dumped her back in 2016, and it seems like she’s finally ready to take the Barbra Streisand vinyl off the player and join the world in hope of a good deep dicking.

Jessica Lange’s red carpet tiremarks and the clothing exec were spotted holding hands in New York. That obviously means they are dating. Or Lea just needed help standing up after being told she didn’t have to tip Zandy after they parted ways. Here they are together.

Lea previously dated the late Corey Monteith, Lipstick Jungle alum and courtside panty pleaser Robert Buckley, and of course, Matthew, whom Us Weekly refers to as a model, and I’ll refer to as “For a good time, call.



Madge’s Ex-Friend Auction Defense: No Backsies!

July 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Madonna stopped the drip, drip, drip of her past from continuing to ooze out this week by getting a judge to put a temporary halt on an auction filled with her ghosts of Christmas past. Items like letters Madge wrote claiming Whitney Houston and Sharon Stone were mediocre (blasphemy! That Basic Instinct snatch shot was anything but mediocre!) and even her old panties were up for grabs. Former friend/art (and apparently lingerie) collector Darlene Lutz was behind the auction, and TMZ says she’s swatting back at the Material Girl.

Darlene says she and Madonna settled a bitter dispute back in 2004. While she doesn’t say what the fight was about, I imagine it had something to do with Darlene giving her thoughts on American Life. The panty peddler claims the settlement included her giving Madonna cash and, in return, Madge wouldn’t go after Darlene for anything. That’s more open-ended than a b-hole at Twink Wink in P-town! I have a hard time believing Kabbalah’s favorite Kween would ever pull a punch like that. This is the same hawk who charges $200 for nosebleed seats!

Darlene adds that she has the right to do whatever with Madge’s filthy drawers since they were a gift of sorts courtesy of the United States Postal Service: “If Madonna truly wanted privacy, then mailing her lingerie was not the way to go.” Mailing her panties? Now THAT sounds more like Madge!


Open Post: Hosted By Celine Dion Serving Paris A Heaping Dose Of WTF

July 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Chanel better shutter its windows in the Place Vendôme, Louis Vuitton can lock up on the Champs-Élysées, and Dior can certainly close its door. Why, you ask? Because Celine Dion’s reign over Paris continues, and she’s sucking all the glamour up for herself! Celine got tired of all the snotty Vogue writers blabbing about her on Instagram, so she decided to grace our souls with a visual performance.

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