Lena’s Dunham’s ex Jack Antonoff was highly offended by the dumb hetero normative gossip that was spewed out about him doing Lorde, but well, the two were recently papped in her hometown doing dumb hetero normative shit like cuddling on the street. Now who’s the dumb hetero normative hetero, Jack? – Lainey Gossip
Since everyone’s on the subject of Time’s Up, the lady-beating allegations against Michael Fassbender have come back up – Celebitchy
That twink swindler from E! tried to swindle a swindler, and it seems like it worked! – Reality Tea
Kathie Lee Gifford better watch it, because something tells me that Adam Rippon and Leslie Jones will be offered the fourth of Today in 3..2.. – Towleroad
I don’t know who IMDB (or however you spell her stage name) is, but I do know that she’s serving loads of “90s day-shift stripper working the floor for a lap dance” elegance – Drunken Stepfather
Somehow the NRA’s social media intern thought that it was a good idea to use a Leslie Knope GIF in a tweet, and yes, Amy Poehler shit on them for it – Pajiba
Oh, it’s just Martha Hunt being all casual with her right titty hanging out – Hollywood Tuna
Chevy Chase got kicked by a dude from Long Island in a road rage situation. So now he’s gonna change his name to Chevy Keep A Safe Distance Or I’m Going To Call 911, Bitch. And really, what’s the point of Chevy Chase getting into a road rage fight if grainy cell phone video of it doesn’t leak? – Cinemablend
Kat Von D is somebody’s wife – Wonderwall
Breakups can be a real bitch on the emotions and tear ducts, but I always view them as an excuse to binge eat, toss back a liter of whiskey, and listen to my Spotify playlist called “Sylvia Plath Fantasia.” Not everyone takes my approach (idiots), and that includes Ashton Kutcher. He’s blabbing this week that he handled his divorce with Demi Moore by living for two weeks like I imagine a Björk/Bon Iver baby would live out a lifetime by fasting and living in the woods for a week. Continue reading
The future of print media looked bright a couple of weeks ago. Sure, circulation is down, but a solution had emerged: every magazine and newspaper article forward needed to involve Quincy Jones. Pawpaw Quincy may be 84, but with old age comes fewer and fewer fucks to give. He said he dated Ivanka Trump, made Marlon Brando leap up the gay charts after saying he fucked Richard Pryor and likely set the record for how many times “motherfucker” appeared in a single sitting. Sadly, it sounds like Quincy wants to take it all back. Continue reading
The picture you’re looking at above was taken at an AARP event, which makes sense, considering Jane Seymour is 67 years old. And if I could say the number sixty-seven again, I will, because Jane looks better at 67 than I have at pretty much any time, ever. Hell, if her hair could talk, it might ask: “Sorry, but what’s it like to be a 4? I’m just too used to being a 10 to know.” Jane recently showed all the young, clothing-averse tricks out there that they’re not the only ones who can strip down and show off the goods by posing for Playboy. But since this is the new, classier Playboy, don’t expect to see Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman straddling a doctor’s bag with a stethoscope covering her nipple.
DISCLAIMER: If you’re proud that you’ve got an unmeltable frostbitten heart made of hardened tar, don’t watch this video or you may be really disappointed with yourself for feeling actual feelings.
Tastefully Offensive says that the adorable pile of fur in this video was taken to a shelter after his first human died. The puppy was adopted by a new human, and during the car ride to her new home, she kept wanting to hold her new human’s hand. When I first saw this video, I think I actually said “awww” out loud. Don’t worry, I was grossed out with myself too.
Hmmm… but now that I rewatch that video, I see something different. The human is shooting the video while driving and committed the unforgivable unholy sin of shooting that shit in dreaded portrait mode! So maybe that puppy friend isn’t trying to hold her human’s hand out of comfort. Maybe she’s trying to say, “Just stop the car and take me back, because I can’t live with a human who shoots videos in portrait mode.”
Jennifer Aniston has said previously that she is so completely over the “JEN’S BABY JOY!” pregnancy rumor mill. So Jennifer might want to sit this story out, because it’s all about two things she’s not in to: speculation about her marriage to Justin Theroux, and speculation about the vacancy status of her uterus.
People continues to fill in the blanks about Jennifer’s sad, shattered, broken, tear-down of a heart. Or at least what their sources consider to be the missing pieces in the puzzle of their legally-questionable marriage. A source tells People that Jennifer was losing hope of being a mom, and then her gallant hero Sir Justin of Fertile Spermingham galloped into her life. But it didn’t go as planned.
“When Jen met Justin, she had almost given up on the idea that she would have kids,” a source close to Aniston tells People. “They wanted to have a baby, but it didn’t work out.”
The source claims that Jennifer and Justin started making baby plans shortly after they got engaged in 2012. After almost six years later, nothing happened. But the source says that Jennifer was “sad it never happened,” but adds that it never consumed her.
Jennifer is extremely rich, and when you’re rich you have a lot of options, so I’m sure she’d have a kid if she wanted one by now. But now I can’t help but picture what their baby would have looked like. All I know is that Justin looks like he’s got pretty dominant DNA, and no one should have been surprised if that baby popped out with a teeny-tiny cool dude chain necklace or an itty-bitty leather wrist cuff.