William H. Macy And Felicity Huffman Have Been “Arguing A Lot” Because Of The College Admissions Scandal

/ March 21, 2019

It wouldn’t be a shock to learn that the college admissions scandal is putting a strain on the lives and marriages of some of those indicted. Like Felicity Huffman who was indicted for paying to get her oldest daughter’s SAT scores raised, but William H. Macy was spared because the feds only had him on tape talking about getting his youngest daughter’s SAT scores getting raised. They never went through with the scheme with their second daughter. I guess the family that scams together, stays together! Damn Felicity, shoulda got your husband in on the grift, sis.

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Grimes And Elon Musk Are Still Doing Their Best To Facilitate Global Warming With Their Love

/ March 21, 2019

Grimes is on some new shit now. She’s just released a concept album called Miss_Anthropocene and her goal is to “make climate change fun”. As far as I can ascertain, the villainous Miss_Anthropocene is “a psychedelic, space-dwelling demon/ beauty-Queen” who’s hellbent on bringing about an apocalypse, but like in a super fun way? So that’s cool. Grimes discussed some of the particulars of this project in a Wall Street Journal interview, and also revealed that she’s still on some of her old shit, that old shit being Elon Musk.

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A New Book Claims Jared Kushner Didn’t Think Karlie Kloss Was Good Enough To Marry His Brother

/ March 21, 2019

Mercury News is reporting that the wealthy New York social scene is just as stupid, pretentious, judgmental and trashy as anyone who’s seen an episode of Gossip Girl can expect. A new book called Kushner Inc.: Greed. Ambition. Corruption by author Vicky Ward claims that model, Taylor Swift’s one-time BFF, coder, and wife of Joshua Kushner Karlie Kloss was not good enough for the Kushner family. You know who was good enough? Ivanka Trump. Let’s get into this upper-class nonsense, shall we?

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The “He-Man” Movie Is Happening And It Will Probably Star…. Him?!!!?

/ March 21, 2019

It seems like nowadays whenever Hollywood is looking to cast someone in a big budget or big budget-ish movie, they don’t look for someone who fits the role. They don’t even look for someone who fits the role if you grease them up with Crisco, four kinds of lube, and a prayer before grabbing an industrial-strength shoehorn to shove them into that role. They just look for a ton of Instagram followers, and since Noah Centineo has over 16 million Instagram followers, he’s “in talks” to play He-Man in the reboot of Masters of the Universe. I wonder if during those “talks” a voice of reason popped up to say, “Err, so we’re talking to Noah Centino about playing He-Man? Not He-Child, right? Like this isn’t a Muppet Babies version of He-Man? Also, what drugs are you all on and why aren’t you sharing them with me?”

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Deranged Raccoons Are Taking Over An Illinois Town

/ March 21, 2019

The rodents are acting up in western Chicago, and it ain’t just because things haven’t been the same since Oprah left. Police in Stickney, Illinois, are warning people that raccoons are “acting strange,” and it sounds a lot like they are either auditioning for The Walking Dead or got into the wrong stuff or this is guerrilla marketing for Pet Sematary. In actuality, they have distemper – eek!

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