Single-named entertainers and one-time couple Ciara and Future have been tip-toeing further and further away from their dirty defamation fight ever since they started it back in February. Ciara has taken the latest step to end the drama. However, it doesn’t really have anything to do with wanting to play nice.
This election has given us a lot of things, like alcoholism, liver disease, new kinds of ulcers and six-packs on our nalgas (from clenching so hard). It has also given me fashion knowledge! Because when Melania Trump showed up to the second debate dressed like an early-80s Mary Kay executive, my uneducated ass learned something new. I learned that the kind of shirt she wore is actually called a “pussy bow” blouse. I thought Gucci just called it that. The “More You Know” shooting star rainbow fucked my brain hard when I found that out. And at last night’s final debate in Las Vegas, Melania showed us that she’s either a slave to the pussy bow or a slave to trolling (or both) when she wore another pussy bow blouse. This one wasn’t as much of a PUSSY BOW IN YOUR FACE as her last pussy bow, but it was still a pussy bow.
Yesterday, we learned that since Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, Brad Pitt has visited with the child army twice and neither time included 15-year-old Maddox. Maddox clearly needed some time before he was mentally ready to make small talk with the reason why he’ll always feel a little tense when he sees the bar cart on an airplane. TMZ says that Maddox was finally ready to meet with Brad, and that meeting happened yesterday afternoon.
Sources say that Brad and Maddox’s meeting was in the presence of a therapist. That’s a whole lot different than what I pictured, which was Brad pulling up to Angelina Jolie’s Malibu rental on his motorcycle and grunting, “Hey kid, how you holding up?” while lighting a match for his cigarette with his thumbnail.
There was apparently a plan in place for Brad and Maddox to get together earlier than yesterday, but the therapist felt the timing wasn’t right. Even though Angelina is rumored to be in a bunker with her legal team trying to find new ways to take down Brad in court, the source claims she was fully on board with him meeting with Maddox, because she wants her kids to have both a mother and father in their lives.
Hmmmmm, I wonder who leaked this story? Normally therapists keep that shit private, so I’m curious who dropped the info into TMZ’s inbox. If it was Angelina’s side, then I applaud their restraint for not adding in a part about Brad showing up 10 minutes late smelling like the inside of Snoop Dogg’s tour bus and that he swiped a copy of Psychology Today from the waiting room on his way out.
You have to make Pokémons face the wall during arrests so they don’t Pikachu. – runic2627
Chu gonna do time in the Poke’, mon. – HelloDurwood
Brenda Bennett, one of my favorite Nasty Girls!
Our long, recurring, diarrhea-inducing national night terror known as the election is almost over (yeah right, the aftermath is going to be even messier) and last night was the final debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. If you missed it, you can catch it on Saturday night when SNL re-airs it. The writers probably figure that there’s no way they can top that wreck. The debate was a shit show, as expected, but the unhealable hemorrhoid scab did get a couple of points from me.
First, Trump finally did something right by shedding light on a painful subject that this country continues to ignore: bad ombres! The dingle-embedded meme factory finally called out your cousin who did her own DIY ombre job using drugstore dye, an old plastic Barbie brush (she didn’t want to jack up her good brush) and a ruler. The bad ombres must be deported, or at the very least, their owners should be sent to colorist with a good Yelp rating. Second, when Hillary burned Trump about getting out of paying taxes, he hit back by calling her a “nasty woman.” To which, Twitter hollered, “Gimme a beat!“, and out came the Janet Jackson mash-ups.
But while many thought of Miss Janet when Trump shot out the words “nasty woman,” I thought of Vanity 6 and wanted Hillary Clinton to hit him back with, “That’s right, pleased to meet you.” I immediately thought of Vanity 6’s Nasty Girl and so in honor of nasty girls everywhere, today’s HSOTD is original V6 member Brenda Bennett!
Snoop Dogg (45)
Jess Glynne (27)
ASAP Ferg (28)
Candice Swanepoel (28)
Jennifer Freeman (31)
Alona Tal (33)
Katie Featherston (34)
John Krasinski (37)
Rob Cesternino (38)
Samuel Witwer (39)
Dan Fogler (40)
Dannii Minogue (45)
William Zabka (51)
Viggo Mortensen (58)
Danny Boyle (60)
Melanie Mayron (64)
Tom Petty (66)
William Russ (66)
Wanda Jackson (79)