Category: Adele

Open Post: Hosted By Adele Getting Jock Itch From Constantly Sweating In Her Spanx 

June 20, 2023 / Posted by:

Though many fans weren’t confident that Adele’s Las Vegas residency, Weekends With Adele, would actually happen since it kept getting canceled and rescheduled last year, it kicked off in November and has done so well that she’s added more dates all the way up until the end of this November. And if Adele’s admission at her last performance was any indication of the blood, sweat, and tears she’s putting into this show–it seems pretty sweaty and maybe bloody! Because Adele told the crowd this weekend that she has a “sweaty face and sweaty tits” and has been shvitzing in her Spanx while performing so much that she’s developed a bad case of jock itch that warranted a trip to the doctor and some anti-fungal meds.

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Adele Says She Will Never Become An EGOT Winner Because She Hates Musicals

April 26, 2023 / Posted by:

Somber songstress Adele loves to serenade us into pools of tears about love, loss, and all of the things in between. However, what she will not be doing is singing any of her lullabies of lament on a Broadway stage. Because apparently, although Adele has already scored herself an Emmy, an Oscar, and a public storage unit full of Grammys, she refuses to do any musicals ever. Because, as she proudly states, she absolutely fucking hates musicals.

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Chaka Khan Blasts Rolling Stone’s Greatest Singers List By Offering Her Thoughts On Mary J. Blige, Adele, Mariah Carey, And More

March 2, 2023 / Posted by:

Rolling Stone‘s 200 Greatest Singers list was a huge flop because they failed to include THE GREAT SINGUH IN DA WORLD Celine Dion. However, they got a few names right, even if one of those singers, cantankerous chanteuse Chaka Khan, believes the entire list wasn’t worth her time to read. We already know she’s prepared to throw hands the next time she sees Kanye West. And now there’s a brand new Soul Train line of folks, including Adele, Mariah Carey, and Mary J. Blige doing the Running Man towards Chaka’s house to ask her about her most recent comments. Because Chaka has apparently retired from singing to become a librarian because of the way she reads these girls like a best-selling novel.

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Adele And Rich Paul Might Be Engaged

February 28, 2023 / Posted by:

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Adele was spotted wearing a big diamond ring on that finger, and people are speculating that she and sports agent Rich Paul are engaged. The Daily Mail reports that, over the weekend, Adele rocked the rock in front of over 4,000 fans at her Vegas show. It appears to be the same ring she wore last year to the 2022 BRIT Awards, which suggests 34-year-old Adele and 41-year-old Rich have been engaged for a year. Instagram gossip monger Deux Moi claims that, per their “very reliable sources,” the couple is planning a summer wedding. Adele’s a real tease (when it comes to gossip about her love life), so I doubt she’ll address the rumors. At least not until she uploads a tearful Instagram video to announce she’s postponing the wedding for nearly a year due to “delivery delays and COVID”.

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Both Adele And Ed Sheeran Have Reportedly Turned Down An Offer To Perform At King Charles’ Coronation

February 20, 2023 / Posted by:

King Charles must know at this point nobody likes him. Because after Queen Elizabeth‘s passing last year, people have not taken too kindly to him or his ride-or-die wife Queen Consort Camilla. But none of that matters! He is now King and will be the star of his own coronation in May. However, there are two people he wanted to incorporate into the fun who do not want to be bothered with him at all. So when he looks into his sea of subjects for crimson-coiffed chanteuse Ed Sheeran and crybaby crooner Adele, King Charles can rest assured they will not be there for two very different reasons.

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Lizzo Shared A Video From The Grammys That Proves Adele Did Not Walk Out On Harry Styles During His AOTY Acceptance Speech

February 7, 2023 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck wasn’t the only attendee at Sunday’s Grammy Awards ceremony to fall victim to the all-seeing eye of Big Camera. Following Harry Styles’ win for the night’s biggest prize, Album of the Year, Adele was seen getting up from her seat during his acceptance speech, leading many viewers to believe that the president of the UK chapter of the Beyhive had walked out in protest, presumably because Beyonce didn’t win AOTY for Renaissance. However, unlike Ben, who really did appear to be passing a kidney stone roughly the same size as the rocks J Lo’s got all evening, the shot of Adele “walking out” was misleading. And Adele’s seatmate Lizzo has the video to prove it. Which, of course! Adele and Harry are both British. If Adele hasn’t walked out on James Cordon by now, she’s certainly not going to show Harry her ass.

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