Category: Chelsea Handler

Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…

January 16, 2023 / Posted by:

The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.

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Martha Stewart Jokes That She Wishes Some Of Her Friends Would Die So She Can Date Their Husbands

July 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart recently went on Chelsea Handler’s podcast, Dear Chelsea (via HuffPo), and wished death upon her married friends. Well, kinda. The two were chatting about dating, and 80-year-old Martha brought up “two mad crushes” she’s had in the last month. Unfortunately, one of these men was married to the mother of a friend of hers, and Martha says that, while she’s been propositioned more than once, home wrecking just ain’t her style. She adds she has no problems meeting men, but “they’re all married to friends of mine or something like that.” Chelsea, 47, sympathized, and said it’s tempting because “you wanna believe that, oh, maybe this relationship that they’re in is temporary…” And that’s when Martha dropped this bomb: “Or maybe they’ll die. I always think, oh gosh, couldn’t that person just die?” And just when I thought I couldn’t love this bitch anymore, she says she wants her friends to die so she can score some old dick. An American treasure!

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50 Cent Clarifies That He Doesn’t Like Donald Trump

October 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Bear in mind, this is an old picture of 50 Cent and President Donald Trump, taken eight months before he became President in 2016. But that picture can sort of serve as the ultimate proof of 50’s flip-flopping ability. First, he takes a smiling picture with Trump, and captions it: “Me and my president maybe.” Then a year later, 50 claims he had turned down a $500,000 check for a Trump campaign appearance, because it was, “not good money.”

And just like the first time Trump ran, 50 Cent came out in support of Trump, in one of the stupidest ways possible, by claiming he’d be voting for Trump because Joe Biden was going to tax too much of his money. Then 50’s ex Chelsea Handler got involved as the unofficial voice of reason, and what do you know, 50 is once again walking back his support of Trump.

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50 Cent Is Officially No Longer Chelsea Handler’s Favorite Ex-Boyfriend

October 22, 2020 / Posted by:

Every once in a while, we’re reminded of one of the more random, weird Hollywood couples of the past, and you go, “Oh yeah, that’s right – Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent were a thing.” Here we are, once again being reminded that Chelsea and 50 were a thing. But this time, the reminder has come with a bit of ex-boyfriend drama. A few days ago, 50 Cent came out in support of Donald Trump, because he was terrified that possible future president Joe Biden would take all his money through taxes. Chelsea was grossed out by that, and quickly let 50 know that that’s the kind of thing that knocks a man off the #1 position of her Favorite Ex-Boyfriends List.

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Martha Stewart Critiqued Chelsea Handler’s Copycat Pool Pic

July 23, 2020 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart didn’t need a shank made from a filed down toothbrush when she was locked up in bougie-prison. She had an array of ceramicist’s tools which were probably dull compared to the shank that lives inside her mouth. And Martha’s still using that sharp tongue of hers to assert her dominance, only instead of using it to become the untouchable queen of Alderson Federal Prison Camp’s arts and crafts room, she’s using it to take down thirst trap copy cats with inferior swimming pools. Chelsea Handler attempted to recreate Martha’s recent swimming pool selfie which, according to TMZ, “delighted fans across the globe.No surprise, Martha was not impressed.

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Following In Melissa Etheridge’s Footsteps, Chelsea Handler Is Done Publicly Hating On Angelina Jolie

April 13, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s a brave new world when Chelsea Handler reveals that she will no longer be air-kissing the c-word over at Angelina Jolie anymore. Life seems so strange and unfamiliar now that Chelsea Handler is wishing Angelina Jolie good luck on talk shows! ET reports that Chelsea told yappy celebrity ass-licker Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live this week that she’s through publicly shitting on her arch-nemesis Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile, in some refugee camp somewhere, Angelina Jolie overheard the name “Chelsea Handler” in relation to hers on Radio Free Europe or whatever and asked aloud, “who?”

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