Cate Blanchett Calls For The End Of Televised Awards Shows While Accepting A Critics Choice Award On The CW…

The Critics Choice Awards aired on The CW last night, and a not-so-surprising guest crashed that shit like, “Bitch, I’m STILL here.” I’m talking about COVID-19. Nominees Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as presenter Michelle Pfeiffer, had to sit the show out after testing positive for Coronavirus. COVID-19 didn’t fuck with Cate Blanchett, though. She showed up to last night’s ceremony, won Best Actress for her performance in Tár, and used some of her time on stage to praise all actresses in the business and also declared that we need to finally call the time of death on the “televised horse race” known as awards shows. And then Cate galloped away with her Critics Choice Award in hand to place it right next to her two Oscars, three BAFTAs, four Golden Globes, three SAG Awards, and many other horse race prizes.

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Jeff Bridges Reveals That He’s Been Diagnosed With Lymphoma

The core of the Earth is likely attempting to restabilize itself after it was shaken off its axis from so many people shouting, “Not the fucking Dude.” Cancer, continuing to be the absolute worst, has gotten to Jeff Bridges as he’s announced that he’s been diagnosed with lymphoma. But, Jeff reassures us all that his doctors believe he’s in a good place with it.

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Everyone Looked Like Tubes Of Lipstick At The Giver Premiere Last Night

I haven’t read “The Giver” since I was in the fourth grade (and even then, I probably just skimmed through it enough to have a vague understanding of the story, then went back to reading Betty and Veronica vs. That Slut Bitch Cheryl Blossom for the 1,384th time that week) but I don’t remember the color red being a thing. Cut to the worn-out copy of “The Giver” on my bookcase, hissing: “IT’S ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THEME IN THE NOVEL, YOU ILLITERATE TWAT!”

All I can remember is that “The Giver” was set in some black-and-white dystopia world where people couldn’t remember what hamburgers tasted like and they forgot what a lion was (that’s definitely a part in it, I’m sure) and that an old dude called The Giver gave you memories and shit. It was basically The Hunger Games dry humped The Notebook.

Anyways, either red is a very important aspect of that book that I’m forgetting since my brain is 99.9999% memories of Shark Bites Fruit Snacks commercials, or everyone just decided to dress up like their favorite shade of lipstick, because why the hell not. Every single ho who walked the red carpet at the NYC premiere of The Giver looking like a swatch from a CoverGirl collection called “Soft Romance”. Katie Holmes wore a dress in light pink (Xenu Blush, I believe), Odeya Rush wore a gown in Aspiring KStew Rose, Taylor Swift wore a dress in Republican Princess Red on top and Unsweetened Oatmeal on the bottom, and Meryl Streep wore pants, because Meryl Streep was entered the “Fuck Spanx” part of her life. Meryl Streep is smart. Oh, and she also wore red, because I believe you would have been turned away at the door if you didn’t.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Jennifer Lawrence Gets A Major Boner For Jeff Bridges

At Comic-Con over the weekend, Jennifer Lawrence was doing press for that Hunger Games shit when she nearly pre-jizzed out of her eyes after spotting Jeff Bridges down the line (starts at around the 2:30 mark). Jennifer ran up to him, got the shyes, ran way and then ran back up to him. If she was stumbling drunk and got shot down at the end, she would look just like me doing my signature mating call at the gay bar. Jennifer somehow kept her excitement from squirting all over the place and told Jeff Bridges what a huge fan she is before the reporter from Extra handed her the mic and let her do the interview.

Some are saying that oh, this is just Jennifer Lawrence being quirky, weird, OHSOREALZ and the anti-Anne Hathaway. But I look at this and all I see is Jennifer Lawrence being oh-so-stooooooooooned. A stoner meeting The Dude is like Big Brother’s Aryan Nation meeting Paula Deen or like Pimp Mama Kris meeting Lucifer. Everybody becomes a giant salivating boner when meeting their hero.

If Jeff Bridges put on his Southwestern abuelita cardigan and handed Jennifer Lawrence a joint, she’d totally pull an Anne Hathaway by cooing, “It came trueeeeee.”

via Vulture